Poltergeist

Dir: Gil Kenan

2015

**

1982's Poltergeist is a spooky classic. It wasn't quite a horror, more of a family friendly ghost story, officially directed by Tobe 'Texas Chainsaw' Hooper but pretty much made by Steven Spielberg. It's as Spielburgy as a film can be. However, the beard was under contract and he wasn't allowed to direct another film while preparing for ET. The Extra Terrestrial, so he hired Hooper as a meat puppet. Who would dare remake a Steven Spielberg classic? More to the point, why would you? The original is a classic, its sequel is pretty good too and Poltergeist III really isn't as bad as everyone says. I can't think of anything about the original that could have been improved and indeed, nothing has been in this 2015 remake. The special effects are pretty impressive but still not as enjoyable as the ones in the original in my opinion. 1982's Poltergeist had some chilling scenes; The toy clown, the items stacked in the kitchen, the thing in the wardrobe, the empty swimming pool, the collapsible house, the little girl claiming 'They're here' in front of the white noise of the living room television....all now regarded as classic moments in horror. Each of these scenes is remade, and each one is worse than the next. Nothing new has been added to the story when something new was desperately needed. The acting is atrocious, I had no emotion for any of the characters, they could have lived or died, I couldn't have cared less. Sam Rockwell is the film's big name and he couldn't look less interested. His expression of terror looks like most people when they get up in the morning after a rough night. The rest of the cast could have been mannequins, I'm not sure I would have noticed the difference. If you are going to go all out and do something pointless then you might as well do it well, no? I guess the studio thought the name enough would be enough to gain interest but how wrong they were. It doesn't feel like a remake of the original, if feels like a bad remake of all the bad remakes of the original that have been made since 1982. I still have time for director Gil Kenan though and I hope he learns from this mistake of a film.