The Apple

Dir: Menahem Golan

1980

*****

The late great film director Menahem Golan proved one thing with his 1980 film The Apple and that is that you don't have to be a great film maker in order to make a great film. The Apple is a particularly bad film in the sense that everything that is needed in order for a film to be considered good is missing, but somehow it is so spectacularly wrong, that it becomes entertainingly fascinating and I'm not sure something can be considered bad when it both entertains and fascinates an audience. Regarded as one of the worst films ever made, The Apple is actually rather good from a technical aspect. The big dance numbers are shot beautifully, the dancing, singing and performances are of a very high quality. The cinematography is incredible and the special effects are pretty good compared to many serious sci-fi films released the same year. This is a big money picture, glossy and highly polished. The negatives are that the songs aren't very good, in fact they're awful, which isn't good for a musical. The script is also pretty hard to listen to, although it is delivered perfectly by a cast of very competent actors. Everything that is wrong about the film could be said of any number of 70s and 80s movies, I think The Apple suffered most due to it making absolutely no sense, being a little too obvious in what it was trying to achieve and what had influenced it and because, quite frankly, people were being a little too critical about it. I know it seems somewhat contradictory for a film critic to suggest film critics were too critical at the time but there is a lot of fun to be had with this film and I'm not sure why it has been overlooked. Menahem Golan was one half of Cannon films. Cannon films made some of the most notoriously bad films of the 70s, 80s and 90s but they have gained a huge cult following. It's all about enthusiasm at the end of the day. Enthusiasm is infectious Although Cannon was started by Dennis Friedland and Chris Dewey, it is Menahem Golan and his cousin Toram Globus who bought the company in 1979 who made it the cult film studio that it was. Neither were that good at making films and for every good idea they had (and they had a few) there were five bad ideas that lost them money. The business model was to buy cheap scripts and throw money at them, and money was a big motivator, but the two men were passionate about film and had bags of enthusiasm. It is this enthusiasm that is behind their fan-base and the 'so bad they're good' catalogue of films. The Apple is over the top, camp as hell and about as dazzling as a film can get. It is hard to defend the film, I loved it like I love many films regarded as 'the worst' (Robert Altman's Popeye - 1980 and Steven Spielberg's 1945 - 1979 for example) but I ask this: How can a film starring Catherine Mary Stewart be bad (boys growing up in the 80s know what I mean), can you hand on heart tell me you don't love Vladek Sheybal's performance as Mr. Boogalow and is there anything more amazing than Joss Ackland playing God in a floating golden Rolls Royce? I think we all know the answer. The Apple is a masterpiece.