Ideal Home

Dir: Andrew Fleming

2018

****

Ideal Home is a charming and funny little film that has been discussed at length but for all the wrong reasons. I’m a firm believer that we should question and scrutinize each and every film but I feel people have been wrongfully offended by the film’s content. Now I hate the way the old and the right-wing think that the young and left are somehow offended by everything – they are not (the very idea offends me) – but occasionally people’s anger is somewhat misdirected. No one likes stereotyping and the gays have suffered Hollywood’s portrayal of them more than most but I personally find no fault with Ideal Home. It’s nice that there are many people looking out for each other theses days but I think people’s reactions need to be kept in check sometimes, and while it is good that people are questioning such films, people need to remain balanced and subjective. Ideal Home is based on real-life experiences of gay director/writer Andrew Fleming and anyone complaining that the two leads aren’t gay in real life should know that most of the straight characters are played by gays. Sure the main characters, lovers Erasmus (Steve Coogan) and Paul (Paul Rudd), are flamboyant and often outrageous but I know many gay couples who are just like them (who also loved the film by the way). I can see the frustration from some gay men, I really do, but this isn’t a case of not taking gay men seriously. Anyone who feels this is the case has overlooked some of the most tender and profoundly beautiful scenes in recent years. The humour can be a little coarse at times but some of the lines delivered are breathtakingly beautiful and heartfelt. The premise – derived from director Andrew Fleming's life, where he was in a 23-year relationship with a man who had a son from a previous marriage and they all lived together – sees Erasmus (a television chef) and Paul (Erasmus’s director) as a gay couple whose life is turned inside out when a ten-year-old boy shows up at their door claiming to be Erasmus's grandson. Neither Paul, nor Erasmus, are ready to give up their extravagant lifestyles to be parents, but they quickly step up and give him the home he’s never had. Erasmus feels far more protective of his grandson and more willing than Paul to take him in but very soon it is Paul who is doing the lion’s share of his upbringing. The situation puts strain on their relationship but before long it is clear that neither of them can live without each other. The situations are not as cliché as you might imagine given the subject matter and I quite liked the way Erasmus grandson (Angel aka Bill) is ignorantly homophobic when he first arrives. Not really understanding Erasmus and Paul’s relationship, he is clearly mimicking his fathers words – his father being alcoholic and in prison for beating up a sex worker. Bill’s understanding and acceptance of Erasmus and Paul’s relationship is subtle but not quite what the film is about anyway but I loved how at no point was homosexuality explained to him or discussed, it was just what it was, and I loved that. The film really isn’t about a child living with a single sexed couple, it is about a child living with adults who, having made a choice not to have children, live an extravagant and child-like lifestyle themselves. The pair believe they have the perfect life and indeed the perfect home but it is only when they have a child does it feel genuinely ideal. The laughs are well-rounded and aplenty and the chemistry between Coogan and Rudd is perfect in that it convinces that the two are real and are genuinely in love. I loved how convincing Rudd was with his character in showing how close and protective he was with the boy, knowing that he had absolutely no legal authority over him and I loved the conversations Coogan has with Bill about how happy he makes him feel. My favorite scene came when Erasmus takes Bill to Taco Bell – the only restraint he will eat in. Erasmus, a well respected chef, wouldn’t otherwise be seen dead in such a place but is prepared to humour his grandson. On the conversation of happiness, Erasmus asks Bill what his favorite ever memory was and Bill takes about time spent with his late mother. He then asks Erasmus what his favorite moment was and he answers that it is the very moment they are in now. It’s subtle, tender and almost comes from nowhere. It was hard not to shed a tear I have to admit. This is why I reject the idea that Coogan and Rudd play two-dimensional stereotypes because they don’t. Their characters are complex, intelligent and layered. The fact that both characters are totally different from each other also goes some way in proving that they are not cut from the same cliché too. I found the film to be heartfelt, funny and thoroughly entertaining, a real surprise hit that seem to fly too far below the radar.