Underworld: Blood Wars
Dir: Anna Foerster
2016
***
After four films and thirteen years I think the Underworld team could have come up with something a little better than Underworld: Blood Wars. Haven’t they already covered blood wars? The series prequel, Rise of the Lycans was poorly received but for some reason they seem to have made a film with it in mind, instead of going back to what made the first film so enjoyable or indeed, trying something new. The fifth film was touted for a long time as being a reboot, and I’m glad it wasn’t but I wonder why it didn’t occur to the Underworld gang that you can make a new film with the same characters. The themes of the new film are: the all familiar ‘Chosen one’ story, treachery (again) and snow. The franchise is becoming more and more like a predictable computer game; first level Matrix, second level Resident Evil, third level Medieval, fourth clinical and fifth level ‘snow’. Difficult characters (by difficult I mean the actors that played them have long lost interest) are all but written out of the story and historical elements, that the centuries old vampire and werewolves should have been aware of, are revealed and punching, kicking and the wearing of leather trousers ensues. I can’t help but think Game of Thrones was a big influence on the style and story, it’s a far cry from GOT but it does feature pretty much everyone who’s been in it. It’s hard to decide what the films highlight was because it didn’t really have any but I did like seeing Charles Dance as a vampire once more. The big question I suppose is whether it is as watchable as the previous films, and I would say that even though it gives the audience nothing new, it is. I don’t understand it, it’s poorly written and as nonsensical as ever and yet I sat entertained throughout and still look forward to the next instalment. I think it may be that I’m looking for closure and Underworld: Blood Wars offers anything but, I want to know what happened to Michael, not because I care or anything but because I’ve already invested the time in the other films trying to find out. I’m really hoping that the next level of this un-interactive computer game will be either space themed, underwater or will be a musical, and/or will incorporate zombies, aliens, zombie aliens, singing zombie aliens. Bring back Michael Sheen as a bare-chested action man too while you’re at it, either way I’ll be watching it.