Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Dir: Tim Story
2007
**
Tim Story couldn't tell what the difference was between cartoon and comics in 2005 and he still hadn't realised what it was in 2007. Contrary to belief, the Fantastic Four do have quite a few interesting foes worth exploring but the Silver Surfer was never really one of them. It makes you wonder whether Story actually read any of the comics, old or new, as there is very little of them that I can see. Silver Surfer appeared once in the FF comics and was never really a high-point. In the right hands the idea of the Silver Surfer and what he does could have been a concept with legs but here it is as dull as hell, which is amazing considering what he is and what his mission is. You know you're doing something wrong when you make the idea of a planet-eating god like super power seem uninteresting and unexciting. Story learnt absolutely nothing from the first film, in fact, he seems to have forgotten the very few things he got right from the original. Again, this comes down to film makers not understanding the source material. You have to do a little more than purely hire a music video director in order to inject pizzazz into your action film. I didn't care much for the humour in the original but the sequel is far worse. The Four never convince the audience they're a team, the actors look as tired as I'm sure they were at this point and it wasn't at all surprising that there wasn't a third installment. The only interesting thing about the film is that it represents the last of a bad batch of superhero/comic films, everyone upped their game after this, and thank goodness they did.

Fantastic Four
Dir: Tim Story
2005
**
Tim Story's 2005 Fantastic Four reboot looks great on paper but is, in reality, a blueprint on how not to make a modern day superhero movie. It's not the worst superhero/comic book adaptation ever made but by 2005 valuable lessons should have been learnt and this film suffers from all of the cliches that ruined many a superfilm before. Tim Story wasn't a comic/superhero/Fantastic Four fan going into production, which is not necessarily a problem but it did mean that he knew nothing about what makes them work. It's only now that film makers are starting to understand that the films have to follow the basics of the comic and build around their fundamentals. Never give the fans what they want (Joss Whedon school of film making) but instead, give them something they didn't even know they wanted, an origin story should be seen as an opportunity, not as a problem that needs solving and that is fundamentally what this film feels like, a problem. I was never sold on the cast, Chris Evans was okay and Michael Chiklis was quite good but no one was believable and even though it is pure fantasy, the key to making a good superhero film is it's believability. The source of the Four's powers is never really explored, we don't see the mission in Space or really see the full potential the story could give. The script is awful, with every attempt at humour bring the film down a notch until it really couldn't get any lower. There is a big difference between Comic and cartoon, Tim Story couldn't tell what it was in 2005.

Fantastic Four
Dir: Josh Trank
2015
***
Josh Trank's 2015 Fantastic Four was doomed well before it was released and rather unfairly in my opinion. I don't believe this is 100% the version Trank wanted, indeed he has stated so, but even with production meddling and executive cold feet, there is plenty to celebrate. I wasn't that enamored by Trank's debut hit Chronicle but the somewhat realistic approach at the route of that film's success worked brilliantly with the Fantastic Four. The origin story of the Four superheroes is a bit hamy and screams 60's cheese, the kind we all love but the also the kind that doesn't always age well. It was right to freshen up this story and by having the Four (well, five) travel between dimensions instead of through space, as the original idea that a space scientist can just invite his buddies along on a test flight just doesn't really work anymore and real astronauts are usually much older and not particularly interesting (I've met a few, no offense to any of them but none of them were Johnny Storm). I loved that they traveled into another dimension because they were drunk and the idea that Sue Storm (the sensible one) didn't but instead got contaminated in rescuing them. It was a perfect re-write, as is most of the film, from how they all meet, how they learn to use their powers and particularly how they learn of their powers. The scene whereby Mr Fantastic learns of his ability to stretch is as horrific as it really would be and is a highlight of the film. Previous film adaptations have skipped all of these important events or have made light of them. Trank's version does neither and is stronger because of it. I'm not completely sold on the casting of the film but they did grow on me and I thought both Miles Teller and Toby Kebbell were perfect. My biggest criticism is on script. It's awful. I challenge anyone not to cringe during the final 'What shall we call ourselves?' scene. The acting is also not always perfect, particularly from the younger members of the cast. It is also rather unexciting at times. I liked the realness of the story but it really was a couple of action scenes short of a superhero/comic movie. Still, you have to start somewhere and the origin story is vital. Box ticked. Now lets get on with the franchise, let's see the team fight someone other than Dr Doom because as good as this version was, the franchise needs new villains, The Frightful Four would be a good place to start in my humble opinion. The comics were rebooted long ago and current issues are examples of some of the best writing in the medium for many years, if the films follow suit then this could be the beginning of something wonderful. I can only hope the nervous and unimaginative producers can see the errors they made here and let the creatives do their thing.

The Fantastic Four
Dir: Oley Sassone
1994
**
Apart from the advance of special effects, the Fantastic Four movies made in the 2000s and the 1994 film are equal. Equally bad. To be fair to the 1994 version though, they weren't really trying. It was a legal thing, they had to make the film to retain the rights, so it goes. Roger Gorman is a genius though, he makes not a lot of money go a very long way. The Thing is quite good and Mr. Fantastic's hilarious stretching scenes are worth watching the film for alone. The last scene where he waves goodbye to his wedding guests had me in stitches. It's awful but charming, which is more than can be said for the versions that came 10 years later. Maybe I've been a bit harsh on the 2005 version on retrospect but overall, the Four deserve better.