The Fate of the Furious (AKA Fast & Furious 8)

Dir: F. Gary Gray

2017

****

The Fast and the Furious franchise is one that has no business continuing for as long as it has, but it comes as a surprise, and a very pleasant one I might add, that the 8th attempt gets the balance right and nails what the franchise should have been all about in the first place. To be honest though, so they should after eight attempts, I mean, how many franchises have ever managed this and got away with it? I find it hard to remember the who, what and where's of the series, it's far too complicated, all I know is that all of the bizarre and complicated continuity issues have been dealt with and we can move on without worrying about any of them. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is far behind us and we shall speak of it no more. This is a fresh start in many respects and the beginning of a 'new trilogy' as Vin Diesel put it during the film's post-production. The elephant in the room is of course the void that the late Paul Walker has left. He also said of the new film "I was trying to keep it close to the vest throughout the release. Paul Walker used to say that an eighth film was guaranteed. And in some ways, when your brother guarantees something, you sometimes feel like you have to make sure it comes to pass... so if fate has it, then you'll get this when you hear about it. Furious 7 was for Paul, the eighth film is from Paul". You can't really argue with that, well you could but I'm not going to. His departure was dealt with rather nicely at the end of the last film, he is only mentioned once here and that is only to state that he shouldn't be involved in any further dangerous missions, given that he is now a father. It meant that Jordana Brewster's character was also written out of the story, which seems a bit harsh considering she had been there since the beginning but it is what it is I guess. To make up for the actors who have left the franchise, writer Chris Morgan has cleverly convinced previous actors to return and has developed a couple of interesting turns of events, although it does feel like they have directly replaced Walker's character with Scott Eastwood. The introductory scene started off horribly though and I had a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It got a bit better and then had a steady climb on the entertainment graph. It hits full entertainment capability in the last adrenaline-packed action scene, with guest-star Jason Statham stealing the show comfortably. Once again the question of whether florescent-coloured cars were really needed in order for the team to complete their mission is raised but at this point it really is a case of who cares. Tyrese Gibson and Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges exchange banter, Dwayne Johnson doubles in size (especially when angry), Michelle Rodriguez looks confused and in 'mid-clench' at times of danger and Vin Diesel says the word 'family' a lot. It's Standard Fast and Furious stuff for the most part. However, everything feels just that little bit bigger somehow. The stunts are certainly bigger and more absurd than ever which has somehow become a good thing in this series. Any other film would be laughed at but somehow F&F makes the ridiculous okay, in-fact, the more ridiculous the better. The newer characters are developing nicely (apart from Nathalie Emmanuel) and Kurt Russell, Charlize Theron and Helen Mirren  give the film a bit of weight, like Hollywood is now ready to acknowledge the series and take it seriously. The street-racing element is long gone, but the step up from heist to crime-caper works surprisingly well. It's far from original but it works and comes as a pleasant surprise. I don't think I've calmed down as a reviewer, if anything I'm more critical than ever but at this stage you know what to expect from the franchise and it delivers everything is promises and more, which I just can't argue with. I was genuinely entertained throughout the movie, it's perfect pop-corn action and although I can wait, I do look forward to the next installment.

Furious 7 (AKA Fast & Furious 7)

Dir: James Wan

2015

***

The seventh film of the Fast & Furious franchise sees a new director in the shape of James Wan and is all the better for it in my opinion. The story suffers from all the same things the previous films suffered from; poor acting, unbelievable story, misogynistic imagery, an overbearing feeling of smugness and the unfinished Thunderbirds doll that is Vin Diesel, but they have also upped their game somewhat. The audience is graced with all new action sequences never before seen in the franchise including skydiving cars, exploding car parks and a gloriously over the top stunt that sees a super-car driving through Dubai's Etihad towers in mid-air. Not a tank in sight I'm pleased to say. The family has been streamlined somewhat but the core members are present. Honorary family member Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson has a smaller part to play, probably because he had other commitments but I can't help but think they didn't want to feature him too much as he is easily the most interesting character of the series and not an original 'family' member. Number 7 can also boast the best bad-guy of the franchise so far but this is almost detrimental to the desired effect of the writers as Jason Statham is far more likable than any of the other actors put together. This seems to have been addressed by simply removing any dialogue from Statham's character. He is essentially a face in a car. It's another stupid addition to the franchise, one that should have finished after one film, let alone seven. So why do I keep returning to watch the next instalment? Apart from the fact I simply review movies I'm not really sure. I'm looking forward to seeing what they do next, I guess familiarity works. I also can't wait to see what stupid stunt they will try to pull next, sadly I think the next big trick they will have to pull off doesn't involve cars though. Paul Walker died before the film was completed and many of the scenes were re-written and filmed using his two brothers as stand-ins. The last segment of the film is actually a well-crafted and tender tribute to the actor that the cast and crew should be proud of. How the franchise will continue without him is uncertain but like everyone else, I'll be watching it. I have no idea how Furious 7 has become one of the highest grossing films of all time but well done to them, seventh attempts a charm and all that. At least the one thing that has always bothered me has now been corrected. It wasn't clear what The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift was about and how it fit into the other films, but now that it has been explained that Fast and Furious, Fast Five and Fast & Furious 6 all happened before and only Furious 7 has happened after, it finally makes sense. I feel I can move on and enjoy the other films more so now. It is nice to know that Lucas Black is back in the series and although the addition of Kurt Russel was odd and somewhat pointless, it was very welcome all the same. The best of the franchise so far.

Fast & Furious 6

Dir: Justin Lin

2013

**

The last film, Fast 5, saw the Fast & Furious team come together for one last heist that promised the ultimate payday. Everyone retired, spent their cash, settled down and indulged themselves in their various hobbies and interests. So what could possibly bring them out of retirement? A spectacularly ridiculous script of course! Taking a page out of your typical 1980s soap-opera, the story sees a past member who died four films ago come back to life and emerge in a rival fast car-driving crime team. Why didn't she let people know she was still alive I hear you cry? Amnesia of course! The get out of jail card for every lazy director out there wanting to make an unnecessary sequel. The crime team (sorry, family) have no choice but to get behind the wheels of their cartoon cars and claim their old friend as their own and save her from a life of crime so that she can join them in their life of crime, the difference between both being that one team doesn't talk much and purposefully kills people rather than accidentally kill people, which is perfectly acceptable. It is fair to say that people, myself included, don't watch the Fast & Furious films because they love the plot and character developments or the Shakespearean scripts, they watch it for the mindless action and it doesn't get much more mindless than this. Fast & Furious 6 is a 6th film too many. It was nice to see my beloved London town featured but only up until the America stereotype of what Brits are like reared its ugly head once more, we are all a bunch of snooty butlers it seems. Credit due for featuring a Ford Fiesta but I don't really have anything good to say about anything else. I'll try though. The plot has thickened ever so slightly, much like the last film the story is left on a cliff-hanger and for some bizarre reason I want to see what happens next. There were a couple of twists I didn't see coming and I think I might have smirked at one of the jokes. Essentially though, it is a greatest hits compilation, lazy but easy to watch, although featuring the same finale of the last film (the bit with the tank) towards the end of film was taking lazy to the next level.

Fast Five
Dir: Justin Lin
2011
**
I think it would be unfair of me to proclaim that Fast Five is more of the same nonsense we've seen throughout the franchise because it isn't. They have created a brand new type of nonsense, an improved nonsense if you will. Gravity is still totally ignored as is death, if your character dies in the franchise then you can always come back no questions asked. You can also kill innocents and police with no consequence. The cars take a bit of a back seat really, the one race opportunity is completely ignored with only a before and after scene to show for it, which I have to say was refreshing as we've seen it all before. The big problem with this film is the story. It's so stupidly ridiculous it's amazing it ever got green-lit. I liked the way they got everyone's favorite characters from the franchise and got them together but this crime 'dream team' serve absolutely no purpose. What did Han do exactly? He drove one car once but was chosen for his 'best in the world' crime credentials? It's poor character development and lazy writing. Vin Diesel's constant mumblings on family is tiresome too, especially when one of his 'brothers' dies and requests with his dying breath that he visits his only son. Does he? Does he hell, he's got a ton of money to steal for no good reason. If they had the amount of money needed to fund such an audacious heist then they probably wouldn't have needed to bother in the first place.

Fast & Furious
Dir: Justin Lin
2009
*
For Fast & Furious (the 4th film in the franchise) the whole gang is back! Hurrah! Even the dead ones seem to have come back to life for the occasion! Well, they wouldn't want to miss the most imaginatively titled film of the franchise now would they? Number 4 is by far the most spectacular. Cars fly/float through the air and drive through solid rock, uninfiltratable cartels are infiltrated, murders are ignored, FBI agents sit about, girls wiggle their bottoms.....it's all there. The reason why none of the Fast and Furious car chases never appear on any of the 'Best movie car chases of all time' lists is because they are in a league of their own. That and all the other movie car chases are probably just jealous.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Dir: Justin Lin
2006
*
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is, as our American friends would say, an auto wreck. Do Americans say that or am I making it up? Is it Car Crash rather than Auto Wreck these days? I'm afraid I don't know, I'm not down with the kids and nor do I intend to be. So I'll stop trying. Maybe that's why I didn't like it? Maybe it's far to cool for my slightly awkward white middles class self to handle. I don't think it is though, I think I didn't like it because of how smug all of the kids are. I'm also not that awkward or middle class but I digress. They're all rich, they give cars away for free, they go to school but don't do any homework and go out on school nights and still pass exams. Probably. Girls aren't allowed to speak, they are there to wiggle and dress erotically (if a pencil with lips dancing in a florescent tea-towel is erotic that is, again I'm not down with the kids so I don't know). Where are the parents I hear you cry?? In fact the only two grown ups in the film (apart from the actors who are playing children 10 years younger than themselves) are a washed up heavy drinking sailor and a Yakuza boss. You can't blame them then really, I guess with parents like that these things happen. In that sense it is totally realistic, bad parenting does generally lead to Street racing. It's a global issue. If only there was something we could do, donate money or something. Anyway, the reason why I didn't like it was because I couldn't tell who was real and who was a cardboard cutout. The editing gave me a headache and I just didn't care.

2 Fast 2 Furious
Dir: John Singleton
2003
*
Apart from the amazing and original use of the number 2, signifying that this film is the second film of the franchise, 2 Fast 2 Furious is pretty much the same old nonsense but with less of the original cast. It took itself less serious at the beginning but soon went down the familiar road (see what I did there) of testosterone fueled melodramatic man anger and girls being bitchy/pink/half naked mannequins. There are cars in there somewhere too but much like the first it is so forgettable, I forgot what it was about fairly soon after watching.

The Fast and the Furious
Dir: Rob L. Cohen
2001
*
The original Fast and Furious film didn't really warrant a sequel, let alone a franchise. I like Cars, I particularly enjoyed the American Muscle Cars but nearly all of them have been decorated by a 12 year old child from 1987. It's all far too serious for its own good and completely forgettable. The cars actually act better than the actors, for once I think I would have enjoyed it more if the people where replaced by talking animals or maybe if every character was played by Eddie Murphy in a fat suit.