Halloween
Dir: Rob Zombie
2007
***
So how does one go about remaking a classic horror film? The answer is always – you don’t! However, they always do because people like me are suckers and completists and are glutton for punishment. That said, there were a few elements to Rob Zombie’s re-boot that did appeal. Firstly, it would help us forget Halloween: Resurrection. Secondly, it stared Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Sam Loomis – which was a particularity nice bit of casting. To be fair to Rob Zombie, he had made two impressive horror films by this point; House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. They’re an acquired taste but I thought they were pretty good fun and something alternative to the rather samey horror films of the early 00s. Zombie's "re-imagining" follows the premise of John Carpenter's original, with Michael Myers stalking Laurie Strode and her friends on Halloween night. Zombie's film goes deeper into the character's psyche, trying to answer the question of what drove him to kill people, whereas in Carpenter's original film Michael did not have an explicit reason for killing. Dimension announced that Zombie would be creating the next installment in the Halloween film series in 2006. The plan was for Zombie to hold many positions in the production; he would write, direct, produce, and serve as music supervisor. Bob Weinstein approached him about making the film. Zombie, who was a fan of the original Halloween and a friend of John Carpenter, jumped at the chance. Before Dimension went public with the news, Zombie felt obligated to inform Carpenter, out of respect, of the plans to remake his film. Carpenter's request was for Zombie to "make it his own". Zombie announced that his film would combine the elements of prequel and remake with the original concept, and insisted that there would be considerable original content in the new film as opposed to mere rehashed material. Zombie's intention was to reinvent Michael Myers because, in his opinion, the character, along with Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Pinhead, had become more familiar to audiences, and as a result, less scary. The idea behind the new film was to delve deeper into Michael's backstory and add "new life" to the character. Michael's mask was given its own story, to provide an explanation as to why he wears it, instead of having the character simply steal a random mask from a hardware store, as in the original film. Zombie explained that he wanted Michael to be true to what a psychopath really is, and wanted the mask to be a way for Michael to hide. He also wanted the young Michael to have charisma, which would be projected onto the adult Michael. In addition, he decided that Michael's motives for returning to Haddonfield would be more ambiguous, explaining, "Was he trying to kill Laurie, or just find her because he loves her?" In all honesty I do think Zombie achieved what he set out to but after seeing it I think the character worked originally due to all of the unanswered questions. The greatest weapon any horror villain has is his mystery. Zombie also made a point that Michael would NOT be able to drive a car in his version. This kind of lost me, as to this point he was the only masked killer who did drive and I always thought it was hilarious when he did. The new Michael Myers was a different villain, he was hard to get used to but on retrospect I quite liked him. Tyler Mane is cool, I’ve met him a few times now and he is probably my favorite of all the shapes. I think re-boot fatigue really hurt 2007’s Halloween because in all honesty, it was the better of all the ‘re-imagend’ films the 00s were so full of. Unsurprisingly, the film begins in Haddonfield, on Halloween. Having already exhibited signs of psychopathic tendencies, ten-year-old Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) murders a school bully his older sister Judith, her boyfriend Steve, and his mother's boyfriend Ronnie (William Forsythe). Only his baby sister, Angel Myers, is spared. After one of the longest trials in the state's history, Michael is found guilty of first-degree murder and sent to Smith's Grove Sanitarium under the care of child psychologist Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Michael initially cooperates with Loomis, claiming no memory of the killings, and his mother Deborah (Sheri Moon Zombie), visits him regularly. Over the following year, Michael becomes fixated on papier-mâché masks and withdraws from everyone around him, even his mother. When Michael kills a nurse as Deborah is leaving from one of her visits, she is unable to handle the situation and commits suicide. For the next fifteen years, Michael (Tyler Mane) continues making masks and not speaking to anyone. Loomis, having continued to treat Michael over the years, decides to move on and closes Michael's case. Later, Michael escapes from Smith's Grove, killing the sanitarium employees in the process. He kills a truck driver for his clothes, and makes his way back to Haddonfield. On Halloween, Michael arrives at his now-abandoned childhood home, where he recovers the kitchen knife and Halloween mask he stored under the floorboards the night he killed his sister. Meanwhile, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) and her friends Annie Brackett (Danielle Harris) and Lynda Van Der Klok (Kristina Klebe) prepare for Halloween. Throughout the day, Laurie witnesses Michael watching her from a distance. Later that night, Laurie goes over to babysit Tommy Doyle (Skyler Gisondo). Meanwhile, Lynda meets up with her boyfriend Bob Simms (Nick Mennell) at Michael's abandoned home. Michael appears, murders them, and then heads to the Strode home, where he murders Laurie's parents, Mason (Pat Skipper) and Cynthia (Dee Wallace). Dr. Loomis, having been alerted of Michael's escape, arrives in Haddonfield looking for Michael. After obtaining a handgun, Loomis attempts to warn Sheriff Leigh Brackett (Brad Dourif) that Michael has returned to Haddonfield. Loomis and Brackett head to the Strode home, with Brackett explaining along the way that Laurie is really Michael's baby sister, having been adopted by the Strodes following their mother's suicide. Meanwhile, Annie convinces Laurie to babysit Lindsey Wallace (Jenny Gregg Stewart) so that she can meet with her boyfriend Paul (Max Van Ville). Annie and Paul return to the Wallace home and have sex; Michael kills Paul and attacks Annie. Bringing Lindsey home, Laurie finds Annie on the floor, badly hurt but still alive, and calls the police. Michael attacks Laurie and chases her back to the Doyle home. Loomis and Brackett hear the 911 call over the radio and head toward the Wallace residence. Michael kidnaps Laurie and takes her back to their old home. He tries to show Laurie that she is his sister, presenting a picture of them with their mother. Unable to understand, Laurie stabs Michael before escaping the house; Michael chases her, but Loomis arrives and shoots him. Recovering, Michael recaptures Laurie before she can leave and heads back to the house. Loomis again intervenes, but Michael subdues him. Laurie takes Loomis' gun and runs upstairs, but Michael corners her on a balcony and charges her head-on, knocking both of them over the railing. Laurie finds herself on top of an unconscious Michael. Aiming Loomis' gun at his face, she fires just as Michael awakens. It’s not exactly a million miles away from just about every other horror franchise plot, in fact, it’s about as simple as it gets. I quite liked the character development side of the story but what I hate about it is that this is what I refer to as Heavy metal horror. I like my horror films to be creepy but this film is far more in your face and a little too brutal. Before I was scared of Michael Myers, now, much like the band Slipknot, I just see him as a guy stomping around in a mask. They should have killed Laurie or something to make it different, it’s not all bad but I don’t think Zombie ‘made it his own’ as much as Carpenter suggested. The Brad Dourif and Malcolm McDowell team-up was pretty sweet though.

Halloween II
Dir: Rob Zombie
2009
*
I tried to be as positive about Rob Zombie’s 2007 remake of Halloween but it really didn’t deserve a sequel. I think he has a great eye for visuals but he got the tone wrong and his story left a lot to be desired. The 2009 follow up is nothing short of atrocious. It is possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen. There are plenty of terrible horror films out there, the ones I generally hate the most are the ones that have had no money spent on them but they have amazing posters. The fraudulent horrors if you will. They are usually made by studios who spend half their time making horror films and the other making Christmas films – occasionally delving into the talking puppy genre. You can see them coming a mile away and you only have yourself to blame for getting hooked in. Halloween II on the other hand had some money behind it and a big studio. There were few aspects of the first film that warranted a sequel but I understand it was left with unanswered questions, so there were a few who wanted to know what happened next and the franchise itself would always attract the hardcore fans but I have no idea what it was about Zombie’s 2009 script that made the studio think this would make a good film. It is beyond awful. Much like the original Halloween, the second film follows where the last one left off. In a flashback, Deborah Myers (Sheri Moon Zombie) visits her son, a young Michael Myers (Chase Wright Vanek), at Smith's Grove Sanitarium. She gives him a white horse statuette as a gift. Michael says that the horse reminds him of a dream he had of Deborah's ghost, all dressed in white and telling him she was going to bring him home. Moving ahead fifteen years, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is wandering around in shock after having shot an adult Michael (Tyler Mane) as seen at the end of the last film. Sheriff Leigh Brackett (Brad Dourif) finds Laurie and takes her to the emergency room. Meanwhile, the paramedics pick up Annie Brackett (Danielle Harris) and Michael's psychiatrist Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell), who are still alive after being attacked by Michael, and take them to the hospital. Michael’s body is taken in another ambulance by EMTs Gary Scott (Richard Brake) and Alan Hooks (Dayton Callie). While Hooks and Scott converse, the ambulance crashes into a cow. Hooks dies in the crash and Michael awakens and decapitates a disoriented Scott. Fast-forward two years after the events of the first film, Laurie is now living with the Bracketts. Michael has been missing since last Halloween and is presumed dead, while Laurie has been having recurring nightmares about the event. While Laurie deals with her trauma through therapy, Dr. Loomis has chosen to turn the event into an opportunity to write another book. Elsewhere, Michael, who is still alive, has been having visions of his mother's ghost and a younger version of himself, who instruct him that it is time to bring Laurie home, so he sets off for Haddonfield. As Michael travels to Haddonfield, Laurie begins having hallucinations that mirror Michael's, which involves Deborah's ghost and a young Michael in a clown costume. Her hallucinations also begin to include her acting out Michael's murders. Meanwhile, Loomis goes on tour to promote his new book, only to be criticized by the public, who blame him for Michael's actions and for exploiting the deaths of Michael's victims. When Loomis' book is released, Laurie discovers that she is really Angel Myers, Michael's long-lost sister. She goes to a Halloween party with Mya (Brea Grant) and Harley (Angela Trimbur) to escape how she is feeling. Michael appears at the party and kills Harley, then goes to the Brackett house and fatally wounds Annie. When Laurie and Mya return to the house, they find Annie, who dies in Laurie's arms. Michael kills Mya and then comes after Laurie, who manages to escape. Sheriff Brackett arrives home and finds his daughter dead. Laurie flags down a car, but Michael kills the driver and flips the car over with Laurie still inside. Michael then takes the unconscious Laurie to an abandoned shed. The police discover Michael's location and surround the shed. Loomis arrives and goes inside to try to reason with Michael. Inside, he finds Laurie, who is hallucinating a younger Michael holding her down, and tries telling her that no one is restraining her. Just then, Deborah instructs the older Michael that it is time to go home; Michael attacks Loomis and kills him. Stepping in front of a window while holding Loomis' body, Michael is shot twice by Sheriff Brackett, and falls into the spikes of some farming equipment. Apparently released from her visions, Laurie walks over and tells Michael she loves him, then stabs him repeatedly. The shed door opens and Laurie walks out, wearing Michael's mask. Later, Laurie sits in isolation in a psychiatric ward, grinning at a vision of Deborah. Producer Malek Akkad, who had produced every Halloween film since the fourth installment, told Zombie "'Don't feel hindered by any of the rules we've had in the past. I want this to be your vision and I want you to express that vision." – so Zombie ignored him and made a fairly flat remake that felt like every Halloween film made, only worse. Zombie decided to focus more on the connection between Laurie and Michael, and the idea that they share similar psychological problems. He wanted the sequel to be more realistic and more violent than its 2007 predecessor. He also wanted to show the connection between Laurie and Michael, and provide a glimpse into each character's psyche. This is handled badly, with no character ever convincing us of their actions. When it came time to provide a musical score, Zombie had trouble finding a place to include John Carpenter's original Halloween theme music. Although Carpenter's theme was used throughout Zombie's remake, the theme was only included in the final shot of the sequel. For me this tells you everything you need to know about the film. There is no mystery, no creeping and no terror. Myers is just a giant mass-murderer on a killing mission. It’s a boring and unoriginal horror that ends up being more splatter than slasher. Zombie is clueless to the rule that what you don’t see is always far more scary. He doesn’t allow the audience to use their own imagination because he hasn’t got one himself. I can’t help but think the nonsense regarding Michael’s mother was written just as an excuse to feature his wife once more. I hated Laurie Strode and Dr. Loomis in this version and I wasn’t at all scared by Michael. Brad Dourif’s performance and the cameo by Margot Kidder were the only redeeming features of this god-awful film. The Weird Al Yankovic scene is painful to watch. The joke here is that Rob Zombie originally stated he would never do a sequel to Halloween, until the studio decided to make it. Then he signed on to write and direct, because he didn't want someone to ruin his vision. Ha! He pretty much killed the franchise and made the worst Halloween film of the series – which at this point is quite an achievement.