The Time of Their Lives

Dir: Roger Goldby

2017

*

I really like Pauline Collins and had hoped that The Time of Their Lives was going to be something of an updated version of Shirley Valentine but alas, it’s more like a film that relies on its memory – or at least people’s faded memory of it. I have little time for Joan Collins to be honest, she looks great for her age – which sounds rather condescending of me but I am afraid that is all I have good to say of her. Pauline Collins is given nothing to work with and Joan Collins is a weird parody of herself but isn’t. I would hazard a guess that this film is aimed at the older viewer, which is a bit odd because it isn’t particularly nice about them. However, I know a few older people who liked the film, so the depiction of them being a bit simple and easy to please might just be accurate. I don’t want to come across as unkind but I loathe these sort of films. I will argue with my parents about these types of films but they never quite understand what I’m getting at. If you want a good story about an older person escaping from a retirement home then watch The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared, If you want to experience an honest but funny portrayal of an elderly adventure then read The Extra Ordinary Life of Frank Derrick, Age 81. If you had hoped for a Shirley Valentine-style film, then might I recommend Shirley Valentine. If you simply like a bit of Joan Collins then I suggest you watch an old episode of Dynasty. The baby-boomers love a bit of stereotyping though, I suppose it is comforting in a way, so the depiction of old people, who they will convince themselves just include them, is fine. The way the young treat them (which is not the way the young treat them in real life) is accepted and the film is funny because it has a label attached to it that reads ‘Comedy’. The nursing home nurse is large, German and has slicked back hair – just like a Nazi. This is the mind-set of The Time of Their Lives and those it appealed to. The phrase ‘Time of your life’ is supposed to be a positive thing, but this film is about two people having an altogether terrible time and I don’t think the title is meant to be ironic. All the clichés you can think of are accounted for and repeated. Not one character has depth, the script is beyond dreadful and the narrative is weak. I would hazard a guess that the final script was also the first draft, either that or it was all made up as they went along. The laughs fall flat but the dramatic moments fall flatter. The film literally gets nothing right. Pauline Collins character is simple and frumpy but her house is ultra-modern, her husband won’t let her buy fancy biscuits but he reclines on a classic Eames arm chair. Absolutely nothing has been considered as far as character or story development is concerned, each character is either a stereotype or has an unconvincing back-story attached to them that is somehow supposed to excuse their erratic behaviour. It is one of the most amateurish-looking films I have ever seen and it angers me that this was shown in my local cinema for several weeks, when other much better independent films released at the same time weren’t. It was nice to see Franco Nero pop up unexpectedly, it’s just a shame he didn’t have a giant machine gun hiding in a coffin that he could have pulled out and used. His character is, unfortunately, the worst written of the lot. The comedy and drama are both so misjudged and poorly timed; I am astonished the film reached the cinema unchallenged. If you think older people taking drugs is funny then sit back and enjoy, all I see is recycled garbage, lazy writing and a production team that have relied purely on an intriguing trailer and two big names. They say that kids will watch anything, I’m afraid the same can be said for the olds.