The Elf

Dir: Justin Price

2017

*

Without a doubt, The Elf is one of the worst Christmas horror films ever made, and to be the worst of this particular sub-genre is about as bad as it gets. However, there are elements that I actually quite liked. Everything the film gets wrong it really gets wrong though, even by Christmas horror standards. I don’t know how long the film took to film but it must have been at least six months as half of the film – that takes place in one night – is in summer and the other half is in winter. I can overlook some continuity issues, especially in a low-budget feature, because I genuinely respect people who pick up a camera and actually make something, but I have limited respect for The Elf and it’s creators. The editing is some of the worst I have ever seen. A conversation between two characters over the phone is particularly stifled when we have to wait around five second on average for one character to answer the other. You can almost forgive them as piecing together a conversation from two shoots at two different locations can be tricky, but for the same issue to occur between characters in the same location and same shot – there is no excuse. I get that they might not have been able to afford A-list actors but I think they should have at least hired actors or actors in training, instead of ‘actors’ with good looks. The characters featured are all family or are in a relationship with one another but when one is brutally murdered, the others show absolutely no emotion, or sadness, there is absolutely no drama. They don’t even alert one another. The script is awful – all Christmas horror scripts are awful – but this particular script doesn’t even make sense. It is one thing to write an unfunny joke but to write a script without the ability to even structure a meaningful sentence is bizarre. Again, I admire their ‘can do’ attitude but these people don’t know what they are doing. A level of naivety is understandable but even the most amateur of film making must know when something isn’t working. Most low-budget horrors are around 80 minutes long and there really isn’t anything wrong with a 70 minute run time. At 90 minutes, The Elf overstays its welcome by about 60 minutes. A tiny bit of filler is acceptable, 90 minutes is not. Sure, build suspense and take your time with a creepy scene here and there but don’t keep the camera running while you go out to lunch and then add the footage to the finished film. The only thing I liked about the film was the rubbish special effects. I thought they were so terrible that they were exactly the fun element that the film needed. Unintentional fun but fun all the same. It doesn’t matter how bad your film is though, as long as you have some integrity. There are many low budget horror films out there that I hate because of their inane scripts, rubbish effects and questionable story-lines but usually it all comes down to taste. With The Elf, the makers clearly have little talent but more than that, they have no integrity. This is evident in the editing and the fact that the final cut was approved. It is also evident in the sound department. So inept were the makers, that they clearly didn’t understand how boom sticks work. I hate seeing boom sticks come into view and The Elf, to its credit, never lets this happen but only because the sound guy had left the boom at home by mistake. I wouldn’t be surprised if the recording was direct from whatever camera they were using. That said, what I did hear from the script was so bad, maybe it was a blessing that I couldn't hear the majority of the dialogue. I’m guessing the makers of The Elf are horror fans, so I find it amazing how such fans can love something so much but without understanding how it works, or indeed, why they love it in the first place.