*batteries not included

Dir: Matthew Robbins

1987

*****

I’m not sure how *batteries not included is regarded now by the youth of today but for me it will always be a childhood favorite. It’s the ultimate kids 80s movie, featuring cute aliens, spaceships and a stand against capitalism (sort of). It was intended as an episode of Steven Spielberg’s popular series Amazing Stories but the bearded one liked it so much he decided to adapt it into a feature. He acted as executive producer and asked his friend Matthew Robbins to direct whom he had worked with on The Sugarland Express, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Jaws. Robbins had reasonable success directing Dragonslayer and The Legend of Billie Jean but it was the second episode of Amazing Stories that made Spielberg think of him. That particular episode was also written by animator Brad Bird who had only worked on The Fox and the Hound, The Black Cauldron and a couple of Disney shorts at that time. I wonder whether the film would have been more highly regarded had Spielberg directed the picture himself, such was his reputation at the time. ‘Produced by’ wasn’t quite seen as the same, even though the film couldn’t feel any less Spielberg-like. The film centres around a group of people living in a New York apartment building in the East Village. The whole area is being redeveloped to make way for skyscrapers and office buildings but the residence of the building are refusing to sell. The street level of the building houses a Café run by husband and wife Frank and Faye Riley who have run the café for over forty years. They manage the building, renting out to the few tenants they have left: heavily pregnant single mother Marisa Esteval (Elizabeth Peña), painter Mason Baylor (Dennis Boutsikaris), silent ex-boxing champion Harry Noble (Frank McRae) and elderly couple Muriel and Sid Hogensin. So far they are the only property owners in the area who have refused to sell and the property developers begin to get impatient. Lacey, a slimy 80s yuppy type and development manager of the firm, sends a hoodlum named Carlos (Michael Carmine) and his gang of thugs to bribe the couple and their tenants to move out. When the tenants resist, Carlos and his thugs punch through Mason's door, intimidate Marisa and break Harry's jar of mosaic tiles that he was using to fix up the buildings main entrance. After Frank Riley refuses to move, Carlos vandalizes the café. This assault convinces three of the tenants to move out. Mason's girlfriend, Pamela is tired of living in an old, depressing building with a guy whose art career is going nowhere. She dumps Mason, packs up and before leaving, advises Mason to quit being an artist and get a steady job. The Rileys' friends, Muriel and Sid Hogensin take Lacey's bribe and decide to move to a retirement home in New Jersey. Frank feels a little betrayed by the Hogensins for taking Lacey's money but they explain that the building doesn't feel like home anymore. They advise Frank that maybe he and Faye should come live with them at the retirement home. With the assault and Faye's dementia growing, Frank contemplates giving in. Things look bleak until that night when a pair of tiny space ships descend into the Rileys' apartment. At first it is only Faye who notices them and discovers that the little UFOs are actually living creatures. The little saucers seem to enjoy repairing items that were broken and they get to work, repairing the vandalized café and putting Frank and Faye back in. The two aliens take up residence in the shed at the top of the apartment building, and are dubbed "The Fix-Its" by the residents. Carlos comes back to threaten the tenants once again, but the Fix-Its lure him to the top of the building and into the shed where they scare him away. Faye and Marisa learn that the "female" Fix-It is pregnant. After consuming plenty of metal and electrical objects, it gives birth to three baby Fix-Its, although one of them is stillborn. Faye buries the stillborn in a flowerpot the next day, but then Harry digs it up, takes it back to his apartment, and succeeds in reviving it by taking apart his precious television set. Frank and Faye see a boost of business in the café from the demolition crew, while the Fix-Its help in the kitchen. Mason and Marisa grow closer. Marisa likes Mason's paintings and convinces him to persevere. Marisa's boyfriend, Hector, who is a musician and the father of her baby, visits Marisa while taking a short break from touring. Mason feels a little heartbroken until Marisa explains that Hector and his band have found a steady gig in Chicago with good pay and that she told Hector to go without her because their relationship just wasn't working out. She confesses that she has developed feelings for Mason and Mason confesses he has developed feelings for her as well. With Carlos unable to prove the existence of the Fix-Its that had been foiling their plans, Lacey is furious with the delays in evicting the tenants and moves to replace him. Desperate to see the job done and growing more unstable, Carlos breaks into the building's basement to sabotage the building's pipework and electricity, and badly damages the "father" machine in the process. After Harry throws him out, the tenants discover the Fix-It children are missing and go searching for them in the city while Faye stays behind with the "mother" machine as it fixes the "father". When the "father" machine is repaired, the now-wary Fix-It parents leave to seek out their offspring. After finding them with Harry, the machine family departs from the planet. Tired of the delays, Lacey's subordinate Kovacs, who is also an arsonist, attempts to burn down the building in a staged "accidental fire". Carlos discovers the plan and in a rage sabotages the arson to make the entire building explode, only to then discover that Faye is still in the building. While Kovacs flees, Carlos unsuccessfully attempts to pose as her late son Bobby to get her to leave, but succeeds in rescuing her as the fire spreads. The tenants then return to find the blazing apartment block collapsing, and Faye being loaded into an ambulance. I remember trying not to be seen crying by my sister or parents as we see by the next morning, the apartment block has been reduced to a smoldering wreck. To Kovacs' fury the construction crew, out of respect for Harry, refuse to continue as he is sitting dejected on the steps. However, this is a magical feel-good 80s family film, so the mechanical family come back later that night, and they have recruited countless other Fix-Its to help them. By the next morning, the entire building has been seamlessly restored to brand new condition, with the café looking as it did when it first opened in the 1950s, forever ending Lacey's demolition plans and resulting in his termination of Kovacs. Mason and Marisa settle into a relationship, while Carlos tries to start a friendship with the Rileys, with Faye finally having come to accept her real son's passing. Some years later, the developments have been built, but this time flanking either side of the tiny apartment building, with Frank's café now doing a roaring trade as a result of the new employment brought into the area. I’m not sure why you’d want you home to be completely surrounded by a huge skyscraper but it still feels like a happy ending. It’s a wonderful story but it is brought to life by the fantastic special effects and creature design of the little Fix-Its. The performances are also wonderful, with the truly adorable performances by Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy as Frank and Faye Riley. The pair were of course married in real life and audiences still remembered them fondly following Cocoon that had come out not long before. Frank McRae, Dennis Boutsikaris and Elizabeth Peña seemed to be in all of my favorite 80s films, each one is perfect in their role. It still makes me sad that Michael Carmine died just a few years after the film, his scenes with Jessica Tandy where her character thinks he is her dead son are so sweet and emotional, and I can’t help but think he had an exciting and colourful future ahead of him. For me it is the perfect 80s film, sure there are many but I often think *batteries not included is overlooked, when in fact pretty much every element of it is perfect.