Evilspeak

Dir: Eric Weston

1981

****

Eric Weston’s 1981 Evilspeak was famously included in the list of infamous ‘video nasties’ that were banned in the United Kingdom in the 1980s but I’ve never really known why. It has gore but nothing as bad as the other video nasties and all things considered it is actually quite commercial. Hard to believe – as the film isn’t really that old – but it was the theme of Satanism that got the film banned. I suppose the fact that Anton LaVey, the late founder and High Priest of the Church of Satan, was a great fan of the film and considered it to be very Satanic probably didn’t help. It is laughable watching it now to think that any of it could be taken seriously and I wonder whether someone involved had it banned to gain notoriety. It is a nuts film - often overlooked and a little slow to start but with a brilliant ending. During the Dark Ages, Satanic leader, Father Estaban, and his followers are approached by a church official on the shore of Spain, telling them that they are banished from Spain and denied God's grace unless they renounce Satan and their evil ways. In the present, Stanley Coopersmith (Clint Howard) is young cadet at an American military academy. He remains as a social outcast who is bullied by his classmates due to him being an orphan, and treated unfairly by his instructors who believe him to be inept at everything. When he is punished for no clear reason by cleaning the church cellar, he finds a room belonging to Father Estaban which contains books of black magic along with Estaban's diary. He then uses his computer skills to translate the book from Latin into English. The translation describes Estaban as a Satanist and the book contains rituals for performing the Black Mass along with a promise by Estaban citing "I Will Return". Waking up the late the next morning, Stanley finds his alarm clock unplugged and his clothing tied in knots, courtesy of his belligerent classmates. This causes him to be tardy for morning classes, and his teacher writes him a punishment note to be taken to the school's Colonel headmaster Kincaid's office. He is sent to the office, where he accidentally leaves the diary on the desk of the school secretary who hides it. While Stanley is being made to clean the stables as punishment, the office secretary begins to finger the jewels on the front of the diary. Trying to pry the jewels out of their settings causes the pigs in the stable to attack Stanley. Stanley returns to his dormitory room to find his belongings scattered again, and cannot find his book of black magic. He assumes that his classmates stole it, and he confronts them about the supposed theft at a local roller rink, but they deny knowledge of the book and he leaves. Stanley then goes to the school's computer lab to perform more general research on Satanism, even though his book is still missing. His allotted time in the lab runs out, and he is forced to leave with his research incomplete. Stanley then goes to the church cellar with computer equipment, stolen from the school's computer lab. He sets up the computer and runs some inquiries into the requirements for a black mass. Searching through various bottles in the cellar left by Father Estaban, he attempts to initiate a mass but the computer informs him that he is still missing crucial ingredients, namely blood and a consecrated host. He is nearly discovered by Reverend Jameson, the church's current pastor, who sends him off to the mess hall to eat dinner. After arriving at the mess hall too late for lunch, he befriends the school's good-natured cook who makes a meal for him and shows him a litter of puppies that his dog just had. Stanley takes the smallest pup for himself, names him Fred and hides him in the church cellar. Stanley steals the host from the church, and notices Estaban's portrait on the wall. Using the translation he attempts the ritual, and is suddenly attacked by his classmates wearing masks and robes. After knocking him unconscious they leave. Stanley, thinking he has successfully performed the ritual is told by his computer that the ritual was incomplete and a pentagram appears on the computer screen. Stanley accidentally wakes the drunken caretaker, Sarge, who accuses him of being a thief for stealing a crowbar. Sarge attacks Stanley, who screams for help. The computer flares to life with a red pentagram on it. An unseen force then takes Sarge's head and turns it completely around breaking his neck. Stanley then discovers a catacomb filled with decapitated skeletal remains and the crypt of Father Estaban. After hiding Sarge's body, he leaves. Meanwhile, the school's secretary attempts one last time to pry the pentagram from the black magic book she stole from Stanley. She fails, injuring her finger which bleeds. She undresses, begins to take a shower and is fatally attacked by demonically spawned boars. After watching a beauty pageant at the school's pep rally, Stanley is attacked by his classmates who tell him that if he tries to play in the big game tomorrow they'll find and kill Fred. After witnessing his beating at the hands of his classmates, the hostile and unfriendly school principal Kincaid kicks Stanley off the soccer team. After a night of drinking, Stanley's classmates make their way into Estaban's hidden room and find his computer program. They follow the instructions and kill Fred for his blood. The computer says that the blood used must be human blood so they leave. After finding Fred's mutilated body, Stanley becomes enraged. The diary appears laying on Estaban's casket. When a teacher catches Stanley in the church stealing the host, he follows him to the catacombs where he is translating the rest of the diary. Stanley pledges his life to Satan then kills his teacher on a spiked wheel and collects his blood. Unaware of the ritual being performed, Stanley's classmates, the coach, Kincaid, and Jameson are all in attendance at a service. After successfully performing the ritual, Estaban's soul then possesses Stanley's body and takes up a sword. Meanwhile, a nail from the large crucifix hanging over the church's altar is pried out by an unseen force and flies across the room and is driven into Jameson's skull. Stanley then rises from the cellar below engulfed in flames and wielding a sword. A pack of large black boars pours out of the hole in the floor, where Stanley now hovers above everyone else. He then decapitates Kincaid and his coach. His classmates try to flee from the church only to be devoured by the boars. In the catacombs, the lead bully tries to escape only to have the caretaker come back to life and remove the boy's heart while it is still beating. The church burns to the ground. It is shown that Stanley survived the attack, but after witnessing the fiery death of his classmates, he went catatonic from shock and was sentenced to Sunnydale Asylum where he remains. Stanley's true fate is revealed, as his face appears on the computer screen in the cellar with the words "I Will Return". I love that computers were also offered up as something to fear as well as Satan, technology not being what it is today back in the early 80s. It was banned until 1987 and I first saw it around two years later. At the time Gentle Ben was still enjoying re-runs on British television, so to see little Mark Wedloe being possessed and decapitating people was pretty awesome, if not a little confusing for my young and impressionable mind. It is basically a twist on the Carrie story but just a little more contrived and a little more goofy. It’s great.