Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.

Dir: Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz

1990

***

I appreciate Troma films more than I enjoy them and while I regard Lloyd Kaufman as a genius of sorts, I also find it hard to watch most of his films. I’m not shocked or disgusted, they’re just not very good, or at least, none of them live up to their ideas or their reputations. Quite how he built such a cult empire is beyond me, but I guess bad taste needs its champions. I have a love/hate relationship with The Toxic Avenger – I didn’t love the first one, quite liked the second one and hated three and four. Sgt. Kabukiman appears in a couple of them and I think I liked him better there – as a supporting character. Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. is odd, very odd, and while odd is good, Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. is far too long for its own good. The same joke it told over and over again and it gets a little too much to bare. Like all Troma films, it suffers from bad editing and from being far too self-indulgent. It’s origins are perculiar. While filming The Toxic Avenger Part II in Japan, where the original Toxic Avenger had been a major hit, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz were approached by Tetsu Fujimura and Masaya Nakamura of Namco to create a Kabuki-themed superhero film, supposedly based on an idea by Kaufman. Namco became a producer, giving Troma a one and a half million dollar budget to begin preproduction. Creative differences troubled production from the start. Namco and Herz wanted a mainstream-accessible film geared towards children, whereas Kaufman wanted the usual Troma-esque sex and violence style. The film was eventually cut into both PG-13 and R-rated versions – I’m not sure which is worse or makes the least sense. The film follows Sergeant Detective Harry Griswold (Rick Gianasi), a clumsy N.Y.P.D. cop investigating a string of murders involving Kabuki - a classical Japanese dance-drama. Kabuki theatre is known for the unique style of its drama and for the elaborate make-up worn by some of its performers. While attending an amateur Kabuki play, Harry witnesses thugs gun down the entire cast. In the ensuing gunfight, Harry is forcefully kissed by one of the dying actors, unknowingly becoming blessed with the powers of Kabuki. Before he knows it, Griswold finds out that he has the ability to transform into Kabukiman, a colorfully dressed slapstick superhero who has the ability to fly and access to such unique weapons as heat seeking chopsticks and fatal sushi. He also has to eat worms, but I think that’s a Troma thing, rather than a Kabuki thing. With the assistance of the beautiful Lotus (Susan Byun), he helps clean up the crime-ridden streets of New York and try to stop maniacal businessman Reginald Stuart (Bill Weeden) and his Goons, who plan to fulfill an ancient evil prophecy that will summon The Evil One whose demonic powers can enslave the world. The plot is thin and the acting is bad, although Rick Gianasi is pretty good. I do wonder whether it would be considered racist, if it wasn’t so ridiculous. It is probably best known for Troma’s one and only Hollywood stunt. There is a car chase scene that happens midway through the film where several carloads of gangsters chase Harry Griswold, wearing a clown costume, through the streets of Jersey City. The chase climaxes when one of the cars, a 1979 Ford Thunderbird, strikes another vehicle, flips upside-down 30 feet in the air, lands, and then inexplicably explodes. Five years later, exactly the same footage was used in a scene in Tromeo and Juliet for not only being cost-effective, but also because Kabukiman had yet to be widely distributed on video (and thus brought some confusion as to which film the footage originated from). Despite obvious continuity flaws, Troma has managed to fit the same footage into each of their films as a tongue-in-cheek homage, including Terror Firmer, Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, Poultrygeist, and Return to Nuke 'Em High Vol.1. Since the film's video debut in 1990, Sgt. Kabukiman has gone on to make several appearances in the "Tromaverse", becoming one of the company's most well-known mascots next to The Toxic Avenger. Kabukiman (played by Paul Krymse in a simpler costume) can be seen in a number of Troma commercials and video introductions throughout the 1990s. Most notably, Kabukiman was one of the prominent figures on Troma's Edge TV, where he appeared in a short parody of old public service announcement films, entitled Sgt. Kabukiman Public Service Announcement, which was directed by former Troma employee and Guardians of the Galaxy director/screenwriter James Gunn. The character almost got himself a carton, much like Toxic Crusaders, but he was deemed too odd. Kabukiman made the return to the screen in 2001's Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, where he was once again played by Paul Kyrmse. In the film, Kabukiman has gone from a serious superhero to a pathetic, drunken has-been who is looked upon with disdain by the citizens of Tromaville. There was quite a bit of backlash from the hard-core fans of the original film. 10/10 for originality but the character is love/hate. It is what it is, its too obvious to criticize in many respects and I would never tell people who love it that they are wrong but I just found it a little too long and mind-numbing – even for a Troma film. However, I do love seeing 1990 in all its glory and I adore the special effects.

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV

Dir: Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz, Gabriel Friedman

2000

*

The original Toxic Avenger was bad taste but fun. There is nothing wrong with a bit of trash now and again, it sometimes puts cinema into perspective and knocks Hollywood down a notch. It serves a purpose, and when it is genuinely funny and uses satire to its advantage, it can be a beautiful thing. The first Toxic Avenger tapped into the fear of nuclear waste at a time when it was entering into the general public's consciousness, it was trashy but clever. The first sequel wasn't without charm but the third marked the end of the series for me. Eleven years later Citizen Toxie, The Toxic Avenger part IV, was released and I wondered what subject Kaufman and Herz (Troma) would tackle. A lot had changed in the 90s and the possibilities were endless. Also, Troma probably had more money and experience and could therefore produce a far more polished picture. Or so I thought. The truth is that Troma had no new ideas and basically cashed in on the nostalgic Toxic Avenger name. It is still trashy but it goes a step too far this time. For some unknown reason, people with mental issues and learning difficulties are the target of the film's humour, not that it is funny in the slightest. I had hoped that we'd see more gore, exaggerated characters exploring whatever was on trend in the year 2000 but instead it was those who can rarely defend themselves that were the butt of all the jokes. The reason is clear. Troma, Kaufman and team have no idea what substitutes as humour. Learning difficulties, morbid obesity, and rape aren't funny, I know it is Troma's aim to explore the unacceptable but this film doesn't even warrant a guilty laugh. It's nasty, and seeing that so many people accept and indeed enjoy the film, is a sad reflection on society's ideologies. I'm not taking the film too seriously though, it is hardly a cult classic and not really worth writing about but if your sense of humour hasn't progressed since you were seven years old (and that is a huge insult to seven years olds), then it might just be okay for you to watch. The idea of an alternative universe where acceptability is reversed was interesting, an opposite of Toxie (The Noxious Offender or 'Noxie') was a concept with legs, it is just that after all these years of making bad films (and making films about how to make bad films) Troma have learnt nothing and still can't direct/write/edit to save their lives. It's awful, and even die-hard Troma fans know it.

The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie

Dir: Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz

1989

**

Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz's sequel to their original 1984 The Toxic Avenger was so long that it was decided at Troma headquarters that it should be re-edited and made into two separate films. It's safe to say that fans of the original didn't much like the two sequels and each story felt a little muddled. I actually rather liked The Toxic Avenger Part II, I thought it was funny, inventive and the right kind of ridiculous. I can't say the same about The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie however. It looks as if Part II got all the good cuts and Part III is a collection of whatever was left from the cutting room floor (not that Troma does editing particularly well). The opening scene that involves an attack on a Video Store (which is in turn an attack on the larger Video Store chains taking over the independent stores) was somewhat of a return to form but it went down-hill rapidly thereafter. There are a lot of repeated scenes from the last film and few scenes of any real worth. It picks up a bit when Melvin returns but, rather disappointingly, it is a different actor from the original film (Mark Torgl was offered the chance to reprise the role but declined due to 'pay issues' - presumably, he wasn't prepared to act for free). The big ending which saw Toxie take on Satan himself should have been an epic showdown, and while Satan's entrance is probably still the best special effect Troma have ever performed, it is a huge anti-climax. The first two film push the boundaries of good taste, are gory, full of nudity and are as about as over the top as you can get. They are also hugely inventive. The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie is boring, has none of what people liked from the first or what made it a cult classic in the first place. It looks exactly like what it is, a combination of scenes that were never intended to go together. I'm all for strange and I like a bit of 'dumb fun' now and again but this is Troma/Kaufman pulling a fast one. Kaufman himself has said he doesn't much care for the film, so I'm not sure how anyone else is supposed to.

The Toxic Avenger Part II

Dir: Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz

1989

***

The Toxic Avenger made Troma what is was, Class of Nuke 'em High was a great follow up and an interesting concept as it made the small town of Tromaville into a movie universe full of potential but why go back to Toxie when there were far more interesting avenues to explore? I think the simple answer is that, apart from gaining cult status, The Toxic Avenger was a great sensationalist b-movie name, especially when the world was becoming more and more environmentally conscious. Most fans hate the second Toxic Avenger film but I personally think its miles ahead of the first feature. It starts with one of the best and most outrageous fight scenes ever and ends with one of the best and most outrageous fight scenes ever. The blind jokes still aren't funny and Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz still find it hard to pull themselves away from their sex comedy roots (its shame Toxie's girlfriend Claire has turned into a pornstar) but it is by far one of the most inventive comedy/horrors of the 1980s - and that is really saying something. Toxic narrates the first part of the film, explaining that because he has rid the town of all bad guys, people generally live happier lives and spend most of their days dancing in the street or getting tattoos. However, an evil corporation called Apocalypse Inc. are determined to change all this and set about killing the The Toxic Avenger so they can bring about mayhem to Tromaville once more. They send a smorgasbord of henchmen (think the Village People but gone bad) to the home for the blind where Toxie volunteers and blow it to pieces. Once out of the wreckage, Toxie fights everyone, squashing them in wheelchairs, ripping off their ears and squashing a particularly muscly dwarf into a basketball. It's all rather fun. Toxie is then tricked into going to Japan to find his long lost father and ends up fighting Sumo Wrestlers and a man with a fish for a head. It's bizarre but brilliant. It's still rather gory but with far more humour than the first outing. Kaufman and Herz actually shot about four hours’ worth of film and realized they probably had enough for two films, so what we see in part two is actually only the first half of the story. This is where my problem with the film lies, it is far too long and never knows when to stop. It is rather telling that, after finding success with his comedy tuition series; Make Your Own Damn Movie!, Direct Your Own Damn Movie!, Produce Your Own Damn Movie! and Sell Your Own Damn Movie! he is yet to make Edit Your Own Damn Movie!. All great low budget b-movie horror films that are worth anything have all gained success thanks largely to their editing. Evil Dead is a very simple film, it is the amazing editing that really brought it to life. However, it is hard to resist a b-movie that is as ridiculous and absurd as this. It is hugely entertaining, it just needs a haircut.

The Toxic Avenger

Dir: Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz

1984

***

The Toxic Avenger represents the birth of Troma Entertainment, the influx of independent film and the rise of the sex/horror genre. Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz had made only sex comedies until this point but after working long hours on the set of Rocky as a pre-production supervisor, which meant spending an awful long time in a boxing gym, Kaufman decided he wanted to make an 'anti-health club' movie. Around the same time he also read that the horror genre was officially dead and decided he wanted to prove the idea wrong. The combination of both ideas, somehow, became The Toxic Avenger. The story takes place in Tromaville, as do all future Troma films. Boza, Slug and their girlfriends Wanda and Julie spend most of their days either working out at the local Tromaville Healthclub or running over young cyclists in their car and taking photos of their exploded heads. Melvin Ferd, the mop-wielding janitor at Tromaville Healthclub, is the daily but of their jokes, each day bringing a new nasty trick to play on him. When a honey-trap is laid for Melvin (involving a sheep with lipstick and a padded bikini) this go a little bit too far and he ends up jumping out of a window and into a barrel of nuclear waste that just so happens to be on the back of a truck below. Melvin then goes through a peculiar transformation that turns him into a giant green blob of muscle and 'Tromatoms' and he develops an unquenchable thirst for justice. He then goes about ridding Tromaville of its bad guys, generally by killing them in various inventive and gory ways. I'm not against a bit of creative violence but the rather tired sex comedy element of the film became pretty puerile quite quickly. It's a film for 12 year old boys who wouldn't be allowed to see for another six years. If you managed to get hold of a copy before you were 18 you were a king at school but only until people watched it and realized is wasn't that great. It has a lot of charm though, why there are so many blind jokes and men in drag only Kaufman and Herz know, but the overall idea is original and quite funny. It isn't so much a film but rather a collection of interesting scenes, some of which will offend (Patrick Kilpatrick who plays a young thug in the film actually walked off set when asked to point a shotgun at a baby), many will shock (I found the scene whereby a young boy is run over by a car and head bursts to be the most shocking but the most complaints came from the shooting of a guide dog) but most will leave you puzzled (why were there samurai swords on the wall of the Mexican restaurant). I can't quite believe it was turned into a kids cartoon!

Chopper Chicks In Zombietown
Dir: Dan Hoskins
1989
**
Chopper Chicks In Zombietown is a hell of a lot better than Troma's Surf Nazis Must Die that came out two years before but that really isn't saying much. Troma is all about mixing two genres together to come up with a sensationalist title but without exploring the multitude of possibilities they could lead to. Chopper Chicks In Zombietown does at least have Chopper Chicks and Zombies but again, neither are particularly convincing. Nothing much really happens for the first hour of the film, with only the characters of Rox (played by Catherine Carlen) and Ralph Wilum (played by Don Calfa) being of any interest. It's only in the last twenty or so minutes when the 'Cycle Sluts' start fighting the zombies does the film become entertaining, although the word entertaining is probably a little strong. The gore is occasionally good and the script is hardly ever funny, it's classic Troma really.

Surf Nazis Must Die
Dir: Peter George
1987
*
Peter George's 1987 cult classic Surf Nazis Must Die comes under the very specific sub-genre of Beachploitation (not to be confused with the Beach Party sub-genre). It was certainly a new one by me before watching the film/writing this review and I can't think of any other film that may fit the category. With a title like Surf Nazis Must Die you have got to deliver the goods but I'm afraid Surf Nazis Must Die really doesn't. Apart from the fantastic character of 'Leroy's Mama', Surf Nazis Must Die doesn't have anything going for it. Nothing. They're not even proper Nazis. Even for a trashy Troma film this is quite bad and I'm not sure it deserves its cult status or its cult following. That said, a remake (with a bigger budget and better writing) should definitely happen.

Class of Nuke 'em High
Dir: Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz, Richard W. Haines
1986
***
Troma films are a product you either love or you hate. I'm going to totally contradict myself by saying I neither love or hate Class of Nuke 'em High. I admire it and as trash films go it certainly is of a higher calibre than most, Troma are very self aware their films are trashy and they never pretend to be anything but trashy which will always work in their favour. I just can't help but think that even with their tiny budget they could have done better, especially when you think that Evil Dead was made 6 years before for less money. Peter Jackson got it right with Bad Taste a year later, Troma never seem to have learnt from this and pretty much rely on sensationalist titles to get the punters in. 80's film dialogue will always be a mystery to me, I don't know anyone who used to talk like that but that's not just a Troma issue, it's any high-school film made in that decade. I suppose I'm just a little bit disappointed because this was one of those 'top shelf' videos in my old video shop and I always wanted to see and now all these years later I have finally caught up with it and it didn't live up to expectations. Still, it's a lot of fun and if you're a trash fan and haven't seen it you probably should.

Mad Dog Morgan
Dir: Philippe Mora
1976
****
Mad Dog Morgan is a Troma film? Really? Actually after the scene where a mans head get blown up it was no surprise but don't expect a Lloyd Kaufman style film, this is a very different kettle of fish (although it's every much Ozploitation). Not that it isn't a little mad though, Hopper makes sure of that with an intense and compulsive performance. He was battling a few demons in real life at the time and you can clearly see it on screen. I've never enjoyed a film so much that contains such bad acting - although none of it is from Hopper. It's a see it to believe it film, a one off and brilliant at that. It deserves its reputation, Philippe Mora makes great films but is often unfairly in Brian Trenchard-Smith's shadow.