Amsterdamned

Dir: Dick Maas

1988

****

Amsterdamned is a unique and cult Dutch horror film from the unfortunately named director Dick Mass. It is often overlooked and only really mentioned by hard-core horror cinephiles, and after watching it I do wonder why it hasn't been seen by a wider audience. The opening scene is brutal, as the body of a prostitute we see murdered the night before, is left hanging from one of Amsterdam's bridges and only discovered when a boat full of school children and tourists passes underneath. The story then follows Eric Visser (St Nicholas in Mass's Christmas horror Saint), the homicide detective assigned the case. Visser (played by Huub Stapel) is your typical 1980s detective and the film is rather cheesy at times with silly one-liners and clichés associated with that era but then it also goes into Giallo mode and becomes something quite terrifying. It's the best of both worlds, a really compelling detective mystery and a genuinely frightening horror. You could argue that it is also an action film, as the stunt are ridiculously good. There are a couple of car chases down the narrowest of roads that could give The Italian Job a run for its money but the speedboat chase through Amsterdam's canals is insane. It's like The French Connection's infamous car chase but on water and stars world famous stuntman Vic Armstrong. The chase is in reference to the 1970 Dutch film Puppet on a Chain but I would argue that Amsterdamned does it better. In all honesty there are many films from America, Britain, Italy, France and Germany just like it but there is something uniquely special about Amsterdamned. Dick Maas's direction is unflappable and meticulous and the story is written to a higher quality than most films of its ilk, although there is nothing quite like it. The reveal of the villain was quite rewarding I thought, although I can see why some may have found it to be a bit of a silly let down but the final conclusion is a wonderfully bleak contrast to the rest of the film that never really takes itself too seriously. It's everything you could ask for from a cheesy 80's Giallo-style horror/thriller/action film featuring a murderous frogman, half of me is glad it didn't get the franchise/sequel treatment that most 80's horror films went through but if I'm being honest, half of me is sad it didn't.