Bedtime Stories

Dir: Adam Shankman

2008

*

If you like incredibly inane humor, unimaginative fantasy and comedy that doesn’t make you laugh, then look no further than Adam Sandler’s Bedtime Stories. Once again, Sandler plays a character that is essentially an extension of himself, with all his negative traits exaggerated. It’s a tiring repeat of pretty much every other underdog story he has ever made, Bedtime Stories is The Water Boy and Happy Gilmore, but with hotels instead of Football or Golf. Sandler’s character knows hotel after growing up in one and serves as the maintenance man in the hotel his father opened and at one time promised to him – before he sold it after becoming bankrupt. Sandler causes trouble of a host of actors who should know better (but hopefully got paid handsomely for their time) and finds love along the way. He gets the opportunity to prove himself, saves a local school and eventually saves the day. Many bad jokes are told along the way and Rob Schneider turns up halfway through and plays a vaguely offensive stereotype. The blueprints of every Adam Sandler film. I think the performances from the usually talented supporting actors is what makes this film a little worse than all the others though. Guy Pearce’s journey from soap star to Hollywood a-lister was incredible – and he just about pisses it up the wall in this – his most dreadful performance of all time. Richard Griffiths was a pro and just about gets away with it, Russell Brand is clearly in it for the money and you kind of can’t fault him for that because it’s too obvious and everyone else has sold their souls, taken the money and act as one of Sandler’s stooges. I’m not sure there is enough money in the world, it’s one up from eat your own faeces for money, although I would happily chop on my own poop than watch it again. I tried to look for positives, I didn’t find many, but I will say that some of the fantasy elements were handled quite nicely and I liked the scene where it rained bubblegum. I didn’t hate the guinea pig either. Other than that I hated ever minute. I hate it for wasting my time and I hate myself for letting it happen. I hate that Journey’s “Don’t stop Believin’” – a song I loved as a child – is slowly being tarnished by awful comedies such as this. I hate that a great actor like Jonathan Pryce has to make films like this occasionally. I hate that Adam Sandler still makes crap like this when he has proved he is capable of so much more. I also hate that I’ve written this much so far in my review, so I will stop here.