Ralph Breaks the Internet

Dir: Rich Moore, Phil Johnston

2018

**

2012’s Wreck-It Ralph was a charming film about friendship, belonging, challenging stereotype and good old fashioned arcade machines. It explored subjects that most ‘kids’ films avoid while piling on lashings of warm nostalgia for old nerds like me. Seeing Ralph (who was based on Donkey Kong) attending a help group for game villains was wonderfully inventive, satirical and funny. It felt like a Disney/Pixar film that was just as much for grown ups as it was for kids. The idea that computer game characters socialized after hours was great, a fine core idea that opened up a multitude of possibilities. So where could have Ralph gone next? I would have to admit that the Internet was the most obvious choice but I found that the truths and the fantasy didn’t sit together at all. Ralph Breaks the Internet shouldn’t have happened. The film is set six years after the events of the first film, which is in real time and actually set on the date the film was released. Litwak's Family Fun Center and Arcade is still open – somehow – and everything is good in the power terminal between games where the game characters socialize after hours. Ralph and Vanellope have been best friends since their misadventures six years ago, hanging out every night after work in the various games available. While Ralph is content with his current life, Vanellope admits to being bored with her game's predictability and wishes for something more. The next day, Ralph attempts to cheer her up by creating a secret bonus track during a race. Vanellope overrides player control to test it out, but the resulting conflict between her and the player results with the steering wheel controller being destroyed. Since the company that made Sugar Rush is defunct, one of the kids finds a replacement for Mr. Litwak on eBay. Unfortunately, Mr. Litwak finds it too expensive and has no choice but to unplug Sugar Rush, leaving the game's citizens homeless. After conversing with Fix-It Felix Jr. in Tapper's bar (selling Root beer rather than Budweiser) later that night, Ralph decides to enter the internet via Mr. Litwak's recently installed Wi-Fi router to obtain the new wheel on eBay. He and Vanellope enter the router and are transported into ‘the internet’ which looks remarkably like Fritz Lang’s Metropolis and every other incarnation of (see Blade runner, The Fifth Element, Akira, etc). We see Amazon, Google, Snapchat, Twitter and Facebook all represented by big modern structures with lots of happy people walking in and out of them and other buildings such as BuzzTube – an amalgamation of online companies who either didn’t want to get involved or who were never asked (the latter probably being the case). It is a vision of hell. It imagines a world that doesn’t exist and has no beauty to it. The Internet is either a convenience or a terrible waste of time (see the rest of my blog page for hard proof). I had a real ‘what have we become’ moment in the cinema and suddenly my popcorn no longer tasted sweet. Ralph and Vanellope enter eBay and win the bid to obtain the wheel, but are unable to pay for the item. Ebay looks amazing on screen but the reality is that ebay is a cardboard box full of crap I can’t sell that sits in the cupboard under the stairs of my house. With only 24 hours to acquire the needed money, the two turn to a pop-up advertiser named Spamley, who gives them a lucrative job of stealing a valuable car belonging to Shank from the violent online game Slaughter Race. Ralph and Vanellope steal the car, but are forced to return it after a high-speed chase. Shank compliments Vanellope's driving skills and points the duo towards the video sharing site BuzzzTube. After meeting with its chief algorithm Yesss and learning that they're already making profit, Ralph decides to subject himself to a series of videos playing off popular trends to get the money they need. This is a parody of real life that has been done before and was just as tragic then as it is here. As Ralph's videos become a viral sensation, an excited Vanellope joins Yesss's staff in spamming users with pop-up ads. Of course in reality big companies get paid money for these spam messages that 100% of internet users hate, but here, in this brain-dead world, its fine and no money is exchanged. The film literally admits that the internet is largely about dishonest and uncreative people making money out of brainwashing the braindead and fickle. Without any irony. Totally excepted. It’s depressing as hell. The lack of imagination doesn’t end there and one of the biggest culprits – Disney itself – then takes Venellope to Disney’s website where she walks through just about every franchise that the greedy company has obtained over the years. It makes the main story fairly meaningless and a clear act of self-promotion. Everything is essentially stored/uploaded on the internet, so our two protagonists could pretty much explore and subject – making the overall idea a little too broad. Of course, it also means the possibilities are endless but Disney being Disney think that they are one of the main subjects that people think of when they think of the world wide web. Not what Tim Berners-Lee had in mind I’m sure, and how come Stan Lee gets a cameo and he doesn’t? I admit I did like the post-modernist satire involving the Disney Princesses and Venellope but unless Disney change their tune regarding their female characters – which they won’t – it all feels a little shallow. Venellope soon decides she wants to stay in the Slaughter Race game and she and Ralph fall out – again. The rehash of old ideas doesn’t end there, as Ralph buys a virus to take down the game but ends up taking down the internet itself. Ralph’s venture into the dark web is laughable, like it isn’t actually the big companies creating the viruses in order to sell protection packages. The glorification of the internet is nauseating. It’s odd how people who understood their last subject – classic games – could misunderstand their new subject so woefully. I did like the fact that our protagonists didn’t have a main villain for the first time in Disney/Pixar history, but when the world they venture into is so soulless and meaningless I’m not sure we really need one as the villains won a long time ago. It’s like George Orwell’s 1984 being celebrated as a cool place to live. So much of the first film felt forgotten, they didn’t even think of calling it Ralph Wrecks the Internet which would have been a much better title that would make much more sense. I really wish he had wrecked it. The internet is at best a convenience, a handy tool. There is a reason why they’ve never made a kids film about the telephone directory. So they did touch on some negativity, such as comments pages, but it lasted seconds. That is the magic of Disney I guess. History will not be kind to this film, indeed, it feels like the worst kind of propaganda. They also overlooked the fact that 30% of the internet is porn. If they really wanted to keep it real Ralph should have spent his time trying to prevent Venellope’s naked selfies from falling into the wrong hands while battling against Russian hackers. An awful subject handled with woeful naivety, celebrating consumerism and antisocalism while overlooking that it is effecting the mental health of millions. Poor old Ralph deserved better.