Down to the Bone

Dir: Debra Granik

2004

****

I have to say I feel a little sorry for Debra Granik. Her 2004 feature debut should have put her on the map, and it did to some degree, but it will be remembered most for Vera Farmiga’s utterly compelling performance. Her 2010 follow up Winter’s Bone drew huge amounts of praise but again, it was the making of Jennifer Lawrence, rather than herself. I like to think people know her now after the brilliant Leave No Trace but who knows, either way, she’s a phenomenal director who deserves more credit. Visual flare aside, what really makes her a great director is her generosity and the way she allows each actor to flourish. This is why people remember the performances and the actors, rather than her, and its that kind of integrity that the industry needs more of. I’ve never directed a film, so that might sound condescending, but it annoys me because I think artists such as Granik are woefully overlooked, even though they make great film after great film. Down to the Bone tells the tale of Irene Morrison (Vera Farmiga), a working class mother of two boys, who lives in Upstate New York and works as a supermarket cashier. We learn early on that she is keeping a cocaine addiction a secret from her family. Much of the film is fly on the wall family stuff; her eldest son pesters her to buy him a pet snake for his birthday; her husband builds them a second bathroom; the marriage is largely sexless etc. On the night of Halloween, Irene takes her kids trick-or-treating and, at one of the houses they visit, she meets Bob (Hugh Dillon), a nurse, and there is a connection. The next day, Irene takes the kids to a reptile shop to buy a snake, but finds that they don't have enough money for one. While her boys wait in the car, Irene visits her dealer, asking him for another fix, but he refuses since she hasn't been paying for the last couple of weeks. At work, Irene contemplates taking money from the cash register. She then goes back to her dealer with Ben's birthday money given to her from her mother-in-law, but the dealer refuses to take it. We follow her day to day life as she juggles normal life with a clear craving for drugs. At a support meeting about cravings, she meets fellow addict Lucy (Caridad de la Luz), and befriends her. While at the facility, Irene again encounters Bob. Before she leaves, Bob visits with a book that helped him during his quitting phase, and offers her his support. At Irene's first Narcotics Anonymous meeting, a man celebrates one year of abstinence. In the following weeks, Irene finds it difficult to stay clean when her friends use drugs around her. One day at work, she is called into the manager's office. She is told her usual fast work has slowed and she admits her past drug, proclaiming it was the drugs that helped her work so quickly. Her honesty costs her and she is subsequently fired. Lucy suggests they start a cleaning business in order to gain money, to which Irene agrees. On the way to her next NA meeting, Irene offers to give Bob a ride and the pair begin an affair. Bob then takes her to a snake breeder so she can purchase one for Ben. The night the two become intimate, Bob excuses himself to the bathroom. Irene then walks in to find him shooting up. Furious at his hypocrisy, she argues with him, kicks him out but ends up using his drugs and the pair later reconcile. After taking drugs in Bob's car one night, the two are pulled over by the police. They are both arrested and detained when an officer finds a drug burner on the dashboard and a half-ounce of heroin. A lawyer briefs Irene on her best sentencing option: if she pleads guilty, she must commit to 50 individual counselling sessions, 100 group counselling sessions, and 250 NA meetings a year; he informs her that if she screws up, she'll be sentenced to several years incarceration in a state prison. When she arrives home, she admits her affair to Steve, who tells her to move out. Lucy gives her a place to crash, although she's angry with Irene for flaking out on a job. Irene eventually finds herself a house and gets some custody of her kids. After another of Irene's Narcotics meetings, Bob shows up to apologize for getting her caught up in his mess and subsequently avoiding her calls. Irene forgives him and he begins to stay at her house. Meanwhile, Bob is using, but intends to start going to support meetings again. His dealer tries to persuade him to sell some pills, but he refuses. Irene realizes he's been getting high by combining his prescribed methadone and other drugs, and as a result could endanger her kids; she confronts him and silently asks him to leave – the first step, we hope, of her full recovery. It’s a very gritty and realistic drama that shows that there is no glamour to drug addiction and many addicts lead normal lives. Addiction ruins families and relationships and makes bad people of good folk, and this is what Done to the Bone shows perfectly. Stark and powerful, as it should be.

Hellboy

Dir: Guillermo del Toro

2004

*****

There are so many comic that deserve a live-action big screen adaptation but I just can’t see it happening for many of my personal favourites. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought Hellboy would or could have been made into a movie, certainly not a big studio PG13 one. When you talk about comic and superhero adaptations the subject usually revolves around Marvel vs DC, how Marvel got it right and where DC got it wrong. It is becoming a tired conversation to be honest, as much as I love the films. The one thing that really annoys me though is when people spend hours stating how good 2008’s Iron Man is. Yeah, it is good, it was the beginning of something much bigger that we all love but four years before that, one of the greatest comic book adaptations was released and it was a far greater achievement. There is no way you can adapt any of the Hellboy stories into film and there is even less chance you could ever find anyone to portray the character authentically, and yet Guillermo del Toro and Ron Pearlman did just that. It isn’t my favourite superhero/comic book adaptation of all time, it is certainly on the list, but I would argue that it is probably the most accomplished and authentic an adaptation than anything that has come before or after. I think starting off with an adaptation of Hellboy: Seed of Destruction was a clever move, an obvious choice perhaps but certainly not the easiest of the Hellboy stories to adapt. There are aspects of Right Hand of Doom and Box Full of Evil but the core is Seed of Destruction, with a few nods to The Corpse and Pancakes (“Pamcakes”) for the hardcore fans. For an origins story the origin part is kept fairly short. In 1944, with the help of Russian mystic Grigori Rasputin, the Nazis build a dimensional portal off the coast of Scotland and intend to free the Ogdru Jahad - monstrous entities imprisoned in deep space straight out of a H.P. Lovecraft story - to aid them in defeating the Allied forces. Rasputin opens the portal with the aid of his disciples, Ilsa von Haupstein and Obersturmbannführer Karl Ruprecht Kroenen, member of the Thule Society and Adolf Hitler's top assassin. An Allied team is sent to destroy the portal, guided by a young scientist named Trevor Bruttenholm, who is well-versed in the occult. The German team is killed and the portal is destroyed - in the process absorbing Rasputin - while Haupstein and Kroenen escape. The Allied team discovers that an infant demon with a right hand of stone has come through the portal; they dub him "Hellboy" and Bruttenholm adopts him. Sixty years later, FBI agent John Myers (Rupert Evens) is transferred to the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD) at the request of Bruttenholm (John Hurt), where he meets the adult Hellboy (Pearlman) and a psychic, amphibious humanoid named Abe Sapien (played by Doug Jones and voiced by David Hyde Pierce) . He learns that a third BPRD member, Liz Sherman (Selma Blair), has recently checked into a mental hospital to protect others from her volatile pyrokinetic abilities. Despite regular visits and coaxing from Hellboy, she is determined not to return. Meanwhile, Kroenen and Haupstein resurrect Rasputin in the mountains of Moldova and the three unleash a demon known as Sammael. Rasputin imbues Sammael with the power to reincarnate and split his essence, causing two of the creature's eggs to hatch and mature each time one dies. Rasputin visits Liz as she sleeps, activating her powers and almost destroying the hospital. Myers persuades her to return to the Bureau. Sammael's ability to multiply becomes a problem as Hellboy repeatedly kills it and dozens more are born. Concluding the eggs are in the sewer, Hellboy, Abe and several FBI agents go down the sewer to destroy them. Abe is injured while looking for the eggs, while Kroenen kills most of the agents. Kroenen, whose mutilated body is run by mechanical parts, shuts himself down, pretending to be defeated. Kroenen's body is brought to the bureau. FBI Director Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor) is angered by Hellboy's recklessness. Myers takes Liz out for coffee and to talk. Hellboy, jealous, covertly follows them, leaving the bureau unguarded. Kroenen reanimates himself and Rasputin appears at the bureau, confronting Professor Bruttenholm. Rasputin offers him a vision of the future, showing Hellboy is the agent that will destroy the world. However, Bruttenholm tells Rasputin he will always see Hellboy as his son. Rasputin, respecting Bruttenholm for raising Hellboy, directs a quick death. Bruttenholm is stabbed in the neck by Kroenen and dies clutching a rosary. Manning takes over the BPRD and locates Rasputin's mausoleum in an old cemetery outside Moscow, Russia. A team led by Manning and Hellboy enters the mausoleum, but swiftly becomes separated. Hellboy and Manning find their way to Kroenen's lair and kill him by impaling the assassin on a metal spike, then crushing him with a gear. Hellboy reunites with Liz and Myers at Sammael's new nest, but the creatures overwhelm them. Liz uses her pyrokinetic powers to incinerate the Sammaels and their eggs. Hellboy, Liz and Myers lose consciousness and are captured by Rasputin and Haupstein. Rasputin sucks Liz's soul out of her body, then tells Hellboy to release the Ogdru Jahad in return for her soul. Hellboy awakens his true power as Anung un Rama, causing his horns to regrow, and begins to release the Ogdru Jahad. Myers breaks out of his restraints, subdues Haupstein, and reminds Hellboy that he can defy his destiny, throwing Bruttenholm's rosary to him. Remembering his true self and what Bruttenholm brought him up to be, Hellboy breaks off his horns, reseals the Ogdru Jahad and stabs Rasputin in the stomach with one of his broken horns. A very cool moment indeed. Succumbing to his wound, Rasputin allows himself to be possessed by a creature from the Ogdru Jahad. The tentacled Behemoth bursts out of his body and grows to immense size, killing him and Haupstein. Hellboy allows himself to be swallowed by the beast, then detonates a belt of hand grenades and destroys it from the inside. He whispers something in Liz's ear and she is revived. When she asks how her soul was returned, Hellboy replies that he said "Hey, you on the other side, let her go, because for.. for her I'll cross over, and then you'll be sorry'. One of the most romantic moments in a superhero/comic adaptations? I think so. Upon meeting to discuss the movie, Hellboy creator and co-executive producer Mike Mignola and writer/director Guillermo del Toro decided to reveal to each other their choice for the lead role of Hellboy. They both said at the same time, “Ron Perlman”. It was meant to be. del Toro understood Mignola’s creation and Mignola loved what del Toro did with it. This sort of thing never happens and that is why it is so perfect. del Toro kept the producers at bay too, never once compromising the character. When del Toro originally met with producers, many changes to the Hellboy character were suggested. One idea was to have Hellboy be a human who transforms into Hellboy when he gets angry. Another suggestion was that he came from Hell, but was a normal human. del Toro vetoed all such attempts to alter the character. I guess the only real change was the decision to not make the film too bloody, so as to avoid an R-rating. The graphic novels are pretty graphic it has to be said, so they came up with lots of interesting ways of substituting the blood for something else. Ron Perlman suggested that in one fight scene, Hellboy could grab a gumball machine and start beating the monster over the head with it, with the flying gumballs standing in for the blood. They used the idea in another scene, where Hellboy rips a payphone off the wall and beats the monster over the head with the phone, with the coins that go flying out standing in for the blood. It’s not the same as the comic but it still feels fairly authentic and in-line with the humour. My only criticism was that Doug Jones wasn’t allowed to do his own voice. I adore David Hyde Pierce and his voice fit Abe perfectly but he himself decided to go uncredited, as it was Jones who embodied the character and actually, Jones doesn’t sound that different to Hyde Pierce anyway. Apart from that, I consider it the perfect comic adaptation, thanks to understanding, communication and a brilliant team who were all on the same page.

Enduring Love

Dir: Roger Michell

2004

***

I had a bit of a problem with Enduring Love but to be honest, my problem was with the story and the original novel – the film is in fact a faithful adaptation. The opening scene that sets the story and is so important that I wondered whether anyone would really manage to capture it correctly or as well as it is described in the book but director Roger Michell not only managed but actually intensified it in my opinion. The story begins with partners Joe and Claire. Joe (played by Daniel Craig) has planned an afternoon picnic in the English countryside with his partner, Claire (played by Samantha Morton). Everything is peaceful as Joe opens a bottle of champagne for the pair to share when suddenly, a hot air balloon drifts into the field, obviously in trouble. The pilot catches his leg in the anchor rope, while the only passenger, a boy, is too scared to jump down. After some hesitation, Joe and three other men who are close by rush to secure the basket. Just as they grab on, a wind rushes into the field, and at once the rescuers are airborne. Joe manages to drop to the ground, as do the others, except for one who is lifted skywards. They watch as the man silently falls to his death in the distance. Recalling the events at dinner with his friends Robin (Bill Nighy) and Rachel (Susan Lynch), and Claire, Joe reveals the impact the incident has had on his battered psyche. The balloon eventually landed safely, the boy unscathed. Joe went to retrieve the crumpled body of the fallen man with fellow rescuer Jed Parry (Rhys Ifans). Jed feels an instant connection with Joe - one that, as the weeks go by, becomes ever more intense. Days later, Joe, feeling guilt, spends a lot of time trying to map out ways that could have saved the man. One day, he receives an odd phone call from Jed, telling him to come outside so that they can talk about what happened. Joe looks out the window and sees Jed standing across the road from his house staring up at Joe's window. Joe is reluctant but Jed promises that he will leave Joe alone if he just comes outside and talks to him. After Jed makes some comments that make Joe uneasy, he decides to leave, telling Jed to leave him alone. Not too long after this, Joe visits a local bookshop and out of nowhere Jed makes an appearance, appearing to have followed Joe. Joe is confused and angered by this and tells Jed that he doesn't want to see him at all. Jed is hurt by this and continues to tell Joe to 'be brave' and admit what passed between them at the field. Then Jed leaves Joe and says, "don't let me down, not like you let him (meaning the man who fell from the balloon) down". The next time we see Joe is when he is lecturing at the college where he works. At lunch, he sits down with a colleague and then spots Jed sitting at the table next to him. He shouts at Jed, causing a scene when Jed tells him to "be brave" again. Joe tells Jed that all he wants is for Jed to leave him alone, which after hearing this, Jed leaves the restaurant. Joe then visits the wife of the man who had died and she tells him that she believes that he was having an affair after the police returned a picnic basket for two that was found in his car, along with a unknown woman's scarf. After hearing this, he decides to figure out who was with the man on the day he died. On Joe's birthday, Claire makes him a special birthday dinner. At dinner, it is clear to see the strain on their relationship. After Claire sees that Joe is lost in thought and not paying her any attention, she angrily clears the table. It is obvious that she is fed up with Joe's behaviour and lack of communication. The next day, Joe goes swimming and sees Jed standing by the window of the pool. Joe asks Jed to meet him in the café. They talk and Joe demands to know why Jed won't leave him alone. Jed, once again, makes Joe uneasy and he leaves. Later, Joe and Claire are joined by Robin and Rachel, Claire's brother and his new girlfriend. Joe then tells Claire that he had planned to propose to her on the day of the accident. She asks Joe if he's changed his mind and he remains silent. This drives another wedge between them and the evening is ruined. The next day at Joe's lecture, Jed turns up in the class and sings to Joe. They then go outside and Jed talks about how Joe is sending him signals, using a curtain reference. Joe is confused, tells Jed to leave and then later that night researches the significance between stalkers and "curtain signals". He finally concludes that Jed standing beneath his window every night watches him draw the curtains, thinking that the way they are drawn is a secret message (such as "come and see me", "I love you", or "talk to me"). After explaining this to Claire, he looks out of the window and sees Jed sitting in the park across from his house watching him. Joe asks Claire to come to the window and look at Jed but she, frustrated, goes back to sleep. The next morning, Claire comes down the stairs and tells Joe that it's over between them. Joe, angry, pays a visit to Jed and they argue. Joe then gets drunk before going to Robin and Rachel's house where he stays the night. When he wakes up, his friend tells him that Claire just called and that Claire had told him to come over as Jed was in their house. Joe races to his house and enters the living room to find Jed and Claire sitting next to each other on the sofa. Jed looks as if he has been beaten up and falsely blames Joe. Claire appears to believe Jed's story. Joe loses his temper and then out of the blue, Jed stabs Claire with a kitchen knife and she falls to the floor, bleeding profusely. Joe then pretends to accept Jed into his life and they kiss. As they kiss, Joe grabs hold of the knife from Jed and stabs him. Jed falls to the floor, while Joe rushes to Claire's aid and phones an ambulance. In the closing scenes, Joe is back on the field where it all started, with the wife and daughter of the man who died. They are joined by a couple who explain that the woman's husband had not cheated on her but was giving the couple a lift in his car. The picnic basket and scarf were theirs, and they were too embarrassed to intercede, as they were having an affair. The wife is happy to discover the truth and sad that she had believed her husband was cheating. Joe then tells the man's daughter her father was very brave. After this, Joe is joined by Claire, who survived the stabbing; they are still separated. As they sit on the grass and talk, Joe produces a bottle of champagne and tries to find words to apologize for what happened to them. Claire says, "Don't say anything". It is left to the audience to determine what happens next. During the ending credits, Jed, who also survived, is shown in a mental institution and appears to be obsessively writing a letter. He looks up at the camera and smiles while the end credits roll. Much like the book, I found the intense excitement of the first chapter was the peak of the story and everything that happened afterwards was uninteresting and rather ridiculous. I don’t think anyone was particularly well cast – Daniel Craig was too distant, Rhys Ifans over-acted and Samantha Morton was too good for her uninteresting character. On repeat viewing I did notice Rhys Ifans’ character lingering in the background in many scenes where I hadn’t noticed him before which was clever but apart from that it is really only the opening twenty minutes that held my full attention. Like the book, it felt like an amazing opening idea was squandered when the author (Ian McEwan) wasn’t sure how to build upon it. I do wonder which half of the story came first.

Blade: Trinity

Dir: David S. Goyer

2004

**

After the huge success of the second film, Guillermo del Toro was asked if he’d return to direct another but, thanks to Blade II’s warm reception, his dream project Hellboy had been green-lit, so a new director was sought. Stephen Norrington, director of the original Blade, had at one point considered returning to direct this film but he changed his mind after reading the script which he didn't like. However, supposedly series star Wesley Snipes was unhappy with the film's script and original choice of director – who has never been officially named but was probably Oliver Hirschbiegel. David S. Goyer, who had written all three films in the franchise, was then selected to replace the original director of the film - which Snipes protested. Snipes behaviour on set is now legendary, with the star causing difficulties throughout the filming. He frequently refusing to shoot scenes, often forcing director Goyer to use stand-ins and computer effects to add his character to scenes. Co-star Patton Oswalt alleged that Snipes would spend much of his time smoking marijuana in his trailer, and that he had become violent with Goyer after falsely accusing him of racism. It has also been alleged that Snipes refused to interact with Goyer or his co-stars, and would instead communicate with them through his assistant or the use of notes. Snipes also allegedly referred to co-star Ryan Reynolds as a "cracker" on one or more occasions. Reynolds corroborated this while promoting the film, saying that Snipes would ignore the entire cast, but he once acknowledged Reynolds by saying "Keep your mouth shut. You'll live longer." Snipes and Kris Kristofferson, who at the time had become good friends after working on the two previous Blade-installments, were reportedly unhappy with David S. Goyer's script decisions. They felt that too many new characters were added to the universe, and that Blade did not need any sidekicks besides Whistler. It was fair comment but it was Snipes and his bad behaviour who really killed this film, sure Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel added nothing to the film but Snipes was also a producer and acted appallingly. In 2005, Snipes sued New Line Cinema and Goyer, claiming that the studio did not pay his full salary, that he was intentionally cut out of casting decisions and film-making process, despite being one of the producers, and that his character's screen time was reduced in favor of costars Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel. He lost and that was the end of Blade. He has since declared that he’d like to be Blade again, now that the MCU is so successful. I’m not sure anyone could be that naive but stranger things have happened, indeed, who would have thought Ryan Reynolds would become one of the most loved alternative Marvel superheroes of all time (Deadpool) after messing up in Blade III, Green Lantern and The Wolverine – as the same character he’d end up playing once more. The film suffers from trying to be bigger and better without concentrating on character development. The story sucks. The film begins with a group of vampires investigating an ancient tomb in the Syrian Desert, which they believe belongs to Dracula, the first vampire. I nearly gave up there and then. To keep Blade from interfering, they frame him for the murder of a human familiar. FBI agents subsequently locate Blade's hideout and kill his mentor and friend, Abraham Whistler – the only likable character left in the franchise. Demoralized, Blade surrenders and is arrested. The vampires' familiars have arranged for the authorities to turn Blade over to them. He is rescued by Hannibal King (Reynolds) and Abigail Whistler (Biel), Abraham's daughter, who invite Blade to join their band of vampire hunters, the Nightstalkers. From them, Blade learns that Danica Talos, an old enemy of King's, has revived Dracula, or "Drake" (Dominic Purcell), with the goal of using his powers to cure vampires of their weaknesses. As the first of the vampires, Drake's DNA is untainted and he is able to survive in sunlight. Along with newly-innovative ultraviolet "Sun dog" ammunition, the Nightstalkers have created an experimental bio-weapon known as Daystar, capable of killing vampires at the genetic level. However, they need a purer blood source to make it effective. As Drake is too powerful to kill via normal means, they hope that the virus will kill him and, with his blood in the mix, ensure the rest of the species is wiped out, but also fear that this will include Blade, too. Eager to test Blade, Drake isolates him from the Nightstalkers, as he considers them unworthy of challenging him. He explains that all humans and vampires are inferior in his eyes and that he intends to wipe them from the Earth. Abigail finds evidence of the vampires "Final solution": a network of 'farms' where comatose humans are drained of their blood for vampire consumption. Told the humans are all brain dead, Blade deactivates the farm's life support systems. Returning to the Nightstalkers's hideout, Abigail and Blade find all of them dead except for King and Sommerfield's daughter Zoe, both of whom have been taken captive. A recording left by Sommerfield, Daystar's creator, reveals that Drake's blood is all that is needed to make it complete and effective. King is tortured by the vampires for information, but refuses to talk, even when they threaten to turn him and feed him Zoe's blood. Blade and Abigail arrive and free the captives. Drake eventually bests Blade in single combat and prepares to kill him with his own sword. Abigail fires the Daystar arrow, but Drake catches it before it strikes him. He drops it to the floor by Blade, not realising the danger it poses to him. At the last second, Blade stabs him with it, triggering a chemical reaction that completes the "Daystar" virus, releasing it into the air, the virus becomes airborne, killing Danica and the rest of the vampires. As Drake slowly succumbs to his wounds and the virus, he praises Blade for fighting honorably, but warns him that he will eventually succumb to his need for blood, thus proving that Blade already is the new type of vampire. Using the last of his power, Drake disguises himself as Blade. The FBI recover the body and declare Blade legally dead (In the unrated cut, as the FBI tries to do an autopsy on "Blade", Drake springs back to life, killing several of the autopsy members before ominously looming over one of the orderlies). Hannibal narrates that the virus didn't kill Blade as the human half of his heart didn’t stop beating, it only slowed down, causing him to enter into a comatose state until his body was ready to fight again. Blade awakens several months later ready to continue his fight against the vampires. Bringing Dracula into a vampire film that isn’t about Dracula is suicide. This was always a modern vampire movie that took the horror sub-genre somewhere it had never been before. There is a scene where Hannibal King is telling Blade about the return of Dracula.  He shows Blade a copy of Tomb of Dracula #55 - Marvel's comic which included the first appearances of Blade (#10) and Hannibal King. It was a huge sign of regression, the sort of thing old comic book adaptations did and why they didn’t work. Why Goyer felt the need for the film to self-reference itself in its third chapter is anyone’s guess, I think by this time everyone was tired of Blade and had run out of ideas. The script is awful and the story is worse. Goyer is a great writer who has made a few mistakes but he isn’t a good director. He didn’t have the experience or correct knowledge to direct the film and it really shows in the finished article. It’s a very hard film to like. However, after its failure, the rights of Blade went back to Marvel, who I’m sure will do something great with the character in the future. It’s worth noting to MCU fans that Blade: Trinity is the first Marvel film to feature the Marvel Studios logo at the beginning of the movie and the post-credit scene that has now become synonymous with Marvel’s films. Still no Stan Lee cameo though and like that, Blade was dead in the water.

The Machinist
Dir: Brad Anderson
2004
*****

I’ve been a fan of director Brad Anderson since his brilliant and criminally underrated 2001 horror Session 9. His career has had a few ups and downs but his 2004 follow up – The Machinist is a modern masterpiece and one of the best thrillers of the millennium thus far – again, criminally underrated. I’ve heard more about Christian Bale’s weight loss than I have ever heard about the actual film though which is quite frustrating, as the film is a brilliantly dark mind-bender that is so much more than its lead actor’s dedication. I’m in no way knocking Bale though, his sacrifice to the film is astonishing. The story follows Trevor Reznik (named after Trent Reznor, whom co-writer Scott Kosar wanted to score the film), a machinist whose insomnia has led to his becoming completely emaciated. His appearance and behavior keep his coworkers away, and they eventually turn against him when he is involved in an accident which causes his coworker, Miller, to lose his left arm (Michael Ironside – once again on limb-losing duty). Trevor (Bale), who was distracted by an unfamiliar co-worker named Ivan (John Sharian), is blamed for the accident. No one at the factory knows of Ivan and there are no records of him. Trevor seems to find peace only with Stevie (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a prostitute with genuine affection for him, and with Maria (Aitana Sánchez-Gijón), a waitress at an airport diner he frequents. He is haunted by brief flashes of recurring imagery, and objects (such as his car cigarette lighter) take on a menacing air. A mysterious series of post-it notes appear on his refrigerator, depicting a game of hangman. These vague incidents send him further into paranoia, but he nonetheless attempts to establish a relationship with Maria. Meeting her at an amusement park, Trevor goes with her son Nicholas on a fun house ride called "Route 666," whose flashing lights cause Nicholas to suffer an epileptic seizure. No longer able to think clearly, Trevor suspects that the bizarre events are a concerted effort to drive him insane. These ideas are fed to him in small random clues. One of them is a picture of Ivan fishing with Trevor's coworker Reynolds, which he discovers in Ivan's wallet when Ivan leaves it unattended in a pub. Another near-accident at work causes Trevor to lash out in rage at his co-workers; as a result, he is immediately fired. Increasingly distracted and alienated, Trevor forgets to pay his utility bills and his electricity is disconnected. A dark, viscous liquid begins trickling out of the freezer, coating the fridge door with streaks of what appears to be blood. After several attempts to confront Ivan, Trevor tries to trace his license plate. He follows Ivan's car to read its license plate, but runs out of gas during the pursuit. When a DMV clerk insists that personal information cannot be released unless a crime has been committed, Trevor throws himself in front of a car in order to accuse Ivan of committing a hit and run. He files a police report with Ivan's plate number on it, only to be baffled when he is told that the car in question is his own; he had reported the vehicle totaled one year ago. He flees from the suspicious policemen and goes to Stevie, who clothes and washes him, but he finds the photo of Ivan and Reynolds framed in her home and accuses her of conspiring against him. Confused, Stevie says the picture is of Reynolds and Trevor, but he refuses to look at it and is thrown out after a verbal conflict. He goes to the airport diner, but is told by an unfamiliar waitress they've never had an employee named Maria. The waitress at the counter tells Trevor she has served him every day for a year,and in all that time,saying speaking so little, she began to think he was a mute. In the film's climax, Trevor sees Ivan take Nicholas into Trevor's apartment and, fearing the worst, sneaks inside. Nicholas is nowhere to be seen and doesn't respond to Trevor's calls. He confronts Ivan in the bathroom and kills him after a struggle. He pulls back the shower curtain, only to find the bathtub empty. He goes to the refrigerator and opens it to find rotting fish and other spoiled food tumble out. His mind then flashes back to the fishing photo, which actually shows a healthy Trevor with Reynolds, just as Stevie claimed. Ivan being in the photo was part of Trevor's hallucination. The scene returns to one that occurred during the opening credits, in which he tries to dispose of someone's corpse - presumably Ivan's - by rolling it in a rug and casting it into the ocean. When the rug unravels, there is nothing inside. Ivan, alive as ever, appears holding a flashlight and laughs. The scene then cuts to Trevor staring into a mirror at home, repeating the words "I know who you are." It is revealed that one year ago, Trevor ran over and killed a boy identical to Nicholas after taking his eyes off the road to use the car's cigarette lighter, which was witnessed by the boy's mother, identical to Maria. He decided to drive away, and the resulting guilt became the deep-seated cause of his insomnia, emaciation and repressed memory. Ivan was a figment of Trevor's imagination and a manifestation of himself before the accident. He fills the missing letters of the hangman note to spell "killer." He briefly considers going to the airport and escaping, but instead drives to police headquarters, signifying his "road to salvation," a recurring theme in the film. He is accompanied by a silent but encouraging Ivan, who bids him an approving farewell outside the station. At the police station's front desk, he confesses to the hit and run. Two police officers escort Trevor to a cell, where he states his intention to sleep and does so for the first time in a year. It’s a clever winding road of symbolism and mystery but in all honesty, you could throw all kinds of slick direction at the script but without a seriously dedicated performance it would have been for nothing. The film, as amazing as the script is, belongs to Bale. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Aitana Sánchez-Gijón are both brilliant too, but Bale’s performance is something special. It’s easy to dismiss his acting and say that he relies solely on his new stature but it isn’t the case. Bale goes full method and, for once, it is totally worth it. His daily diet in preparation consisted of just water, an apple and one cup of coffee per day, with the occasional whiskey. He also took up smoking to help calm his appetite. He lost 62 pounds (28 kg), reducing his body mass to 120 pounds (54 kg). Bale wanted to go down to 99 pounds (45 kg), but the filmmakers would not let him due to health concerns. Anderson hadn’t actually asked Bale to lose such a vast amount of weight and was genuinely shocked when he saw his appearance on the first day of shooting. He later confessed to being thrilled by the actor's dedication. It annoyed me somewhat that the film was compared to Fight Club so much when it was released. While there is an obvious theme in common, the film is clearly influenced by Dostoyevsky and it references the Russian novelist several times, first when Reznik is shown reading The Idiot, one of the faux marquees reads Crime and Punishment when Reznik is riding the "Route 666" attraction and in Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, the character who is visited by a devil is named Ivan. It’s a worthy film and it is a fitting tribute to Dostoyevsky’s work. I’m never much of a fan of cold grey and blue cinematography but Xavi Gimenez and Charlie Jiminez’s work here is sensational and fits the story and mood perfectly. Screen writer Scott Kroopf once referred to it as "the last movie that Alfred Hitchcock would have ever made". I totally disagree, The Machinist is not Hitchcockian, it is Bergman-esque but either way, it’s a modern masterpiece that deserves far more recognition than it has thus far received.

Incident at Loch Ness

Dir: Zak Penn

2004

*****

Zak Penn’s Incident at Loch Ness is a film within a film, within a film, within a film in the form of a mockumentary, and is as sharp as a knife. It explores the world of film – specifically modern documentary and sensationalism, with a cutting sense of humour, made all the more authentic with the addition of documentary great Werner Herzog. Herzog and Penn actually wrote the film together, and clearly had lots of fun working on it. It starts as a documentary focused on the production of a movie called Herzog in Wonderland, a film by John Bailey that looks to act as an overview of Herzog’s work method as he himself begins to work on a separate documentary called Enigma of Loch Ness. Enigma of Loch Ness, produced by Penn and directed by Herzog (starring both) explores the legend and myth of the Loch Ness Monster, with Herzog’s underlining assertion that the beast is merely a creation of a collective psychological need in society. The film is separated into unspoken chapters, not just in terms of location but also in terms of layer. It starts at Herzog’s Californian home where he hosts a dinner party that includes stars including Jeff Goldblum and Ricky Jay (with Crispin Glover making a hilarious ‘sorry I’m late’ last minute cameo). The guest wax lyrical about film until producer Zak Penn (who plays himself) clearly wants the Loch Ness film to be a high-grossing blockbuster, rather than a typical Herzog documentary. He hires sexy cast members and fake experts to interject a bit of sensationalism into the film and pushes Herzog to the very limits, reminding him of his own reputation along the way. When Herzog finds out that a fake monster has been built for the film he loses his cool and storms off set, only for a real monster to make an appearance – or does it. By the end it’s not clear whether it is real, and if it is a fake, who is responsible, is the first film a fake or is the film it is filming a fake, or is the film the audience watching the real fake? It’s a post-modern masterpiece. While I think knowledge of Herzog and his films would be advantageous to viewers, I think it is still fairly universal. It’s actually a film that will please lovers of both genres explored, it’s very clever and entertaining throughout. I love how knowing Herzog is about his own films and how happy he seems to send himself up – without really sending himself up. Zak Penn is really the one who sends himself up, but in doing so he actually makes himself look rather intelligent – it really isn’t as complicated as I’m making out. It’s a pretty ambiguous film that can say as little or as much as the viewer wants to hear. I like the way that it is left up to interpretation, Herzog and Penn even keep in character for the DVD commentary. It is amazing how this feels like a Zak Penn film and a Werner Herzog film, even though the two men’s films are completely different. Penn wrote Last Action Hero, X2 and went on to write The Incredible Hulk and The Avengers, while Herzog has made some of the most incredible films ever filmed, with amazing documentaries including Grizzly Man and Little Dieter Needs to Fly. It’s wonderful when opposites attract and make something this good together. Penn went on to make his own documentary ten years later, one of my personal favourites Atari: Game Over but Herzog is still to make an action film, although he has appeared within the genre a couple of times as an actor. As a Herzog fanatic I loved the idea behind the film and I think they pulled it off, when I really didn’t think they would but part of me now really wants to see Herzog make a big blockbuster, a superhero film or a horror. Penn, who is clearly a fan, picked up on an idea when I think Herzog was only really beginning to be recognised by real mainstream audiences. It is rare that something so clever and self-aware is so funny, a unique and brilliant project.

Things to Do Before You're 30

Dir: Simon Shore

2004

*

Based on the 1997 Dutch feature film, All Stars, written by Mischa Alexander and Jean van de Velde, 2005's Things to Do Before You're 30 misses the point and wasn't half as popular in England as the original one was in Holland. Indeed, the Dutch film was so popular it got a remake fourteen years later, affectionately named The Old Stars. It clearly wanted to get a piece of the renascence the British film industry enjoyed in the late 90s but was a good five years too late. It stared Billie Piper - a few years after she was at peak popularity, Shaun Parkes - because of his role in Human Traffic, Jimi Mistry - because of his role in East is East, Emilia Fox - because they got lucky and Dougray Scott - because everyone makes mistakes (Scott being the mistake-maker in this scenario). It tries to appeal purely by association. The characters all have links to the fictional amateur football team Athletico Greenwich, a 20 year old club about to celebrate their 500th match. The original players, who are all now in their late twenties, continue to play for the club but life keeps getting in the way and commitments mean the club is starting to slip away. Somehow a list title Things to Do Before You're 30 appears in the script and the players reassess their lives at the tender age of 28 or thereabouts. It's farcical. Serious issues such as coming out, pregnancy and parenthood are mixed in with stereotype, cliché and the idea that every man dreams of having a threesome at one point in their lives. It's one of the clumsiest films I've ever seen, handling the balance between drama and comedy with boxing gloves - while drunk - on a tightrope. Alliance Atlantis had a game plan in the late 90s/early 00s that basically read 'throw all our money at the first script that comes through the letter box'. It lead to their comeuppance and they were bought out by the devil a couple of years later. It was dated before it was even filmed, the British film industry suffered many of these awful films, it was an embarrassment to see them arrive by the truck load. Suffice to say, watching it shouldn't be on your own Things to Do Before You're 30/40/50/dead list and if you've already seen it then pray you'll forget it before you're 30/40/50/dead. 

Shark Tale

Dir: Rob Letterman, Bibo Bergeron, Vicky Jenson

2004

**

DreamWorks Animation's Shark tale became dated pretty much as soon as it was released. It was a huge hit of the production company (their 2nd biggest opening at the time) and it is miles ahead of Shrek, it just doesn't look or feel right, and for a kids film it is aimed at the adults just a little too much. The fact it was nominated for Best Animated Feature at the Oscars just tells you how bad the year was for animation (or how insular the Academy Awards was/is). Although Shark Tale was produced concurrently with Finding Nemo, it ended up coming out a year and half later, which knocked it out of the water somewhat. DreamWorks Animation's CEO, Jeffrey Katzenberg, defended the film in this respect, saying that "any similarities are mere coincidence. We've been open with the Pixar people so we don't step on each other's toes." I'm pretty sure Pixar weren't at all concerned. The story is fairly derivative and full of way too many pop culture in-jokes that only half the target audience would get. I had no problem with animated characters resembling their given voice actor until I saw Shark Tale, but after watching I've become a strict advocate that the characters should be their own creation, rather than adopting any type of similarity with their voice actor. It's horrible. The Shark Slayer of the film is voiced by Will Smith and is basically a version of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Robert DeNiro is every gangster his ever played before, Angelina Jolie is the 'femme fatale' the media had painted her as (why would she agree to that?) and Renée Zellweger was Dorothy Boyd from Jerry Maguire. Only Jack Black's character Lenny can't be attached to a previous role of his but Lenny is the character I had the biggest problem with. Lenny comes out as a vegetarian shark, a funny idea that has possibilities. The problem is, the strong underlining assumption is that Lenny is in fact gay, rather than a non-meat eater. He acts camp and has many of Hollywood's homosexual stereotypes about him, it's handed poorly and I don't believe any denial that that isn't what was going on and that the film makers hadn't noticed similarities. The animation is poor, the idea is half-hearted and messy and there is very little warmth to be had. Apart from the fact they had Martin Scorsese do the voice of one of the main characters, I wasn't impressed. They also got the anthropomorphism all wrong, Finding Nemo and Pixar in general knew how their characters should move etc but they didn't give them human objects to interact with, a stingray acted as a bus, rather than them having a real bus. The fish didn't have cameras, television sets and other objects that just make no sense. Poor story and poor visuals don't make for a great animation, animation has come leaps and bounds since 2004 but most animations released before this were far superior.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Dir: Beeban Kidron

2004

*

I disliked 2001's Bridget Jones's Diary quite a bit but I detest it's follow up: Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Helen Fielding had much success with her 1996 novel, so continuing the story was a given, as was the film adaptation (the first film was made after the second novel). I'm not alone either, critics panned Beeban Kidron's sequel, the film did well financially as all follow up films to popular movies do but neither book nor film followed for a long time. It was clear that Fielding's luck was up. I believe this is due to it being clear to even the densest of film goers that she didn't have an original bone in her body. The second film is pretty much a carbon copy of the first film, by all means play the hits but don't force feed the fans the same crap. I disliked everything, from the horrible poster that sees Renée Zellweger pouting like an over inflated sex doll to the fact that Fielding used Sandra Gregory's story without her consent (Gregory was imprisoned in a Thai Prison as Bridget is in the film, Fielding knew the next door neighbours of Gregory's parents and used her story through the power of gossip). It became less and less obvious who this film was actually meant for and somehow, even though everyone pretty much hated it, it was nominated for loads of awards. I argue that the film industry really lost its way in the early 00s. Beeban Kidron was an odd choice of director, she brings nothing special to the story and it's odd that a documentarian like her would be attached (although I loved her TV series Oranges are Not the Only Fruit). Colin Firth and Hugh Grant lower themselves even further and even though I can still think of several actors who could have played Bridget better, I'm now really glad they didn't. The whole story is contrived and tired, we've seen it all before and it isn't interesting to anyone. The whole film seems to revolve around Bridget finding love (with the person she's already found it with) and having clumsy accidents. Her and her friends are also tired stereotypes, I don't know anyone in the mid-thirties that could take any of it seriously and I can only guess that it only appeals to adolescent girls, it certainly doesn't seem to push anyone else's buttons.

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Dir: Stephen Hillenburg, Mark Osborne

2004

****

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie came out at the peak of SpongeBob SquarePants mania. However, unlike most movie versions of popular TV shows, it was so much more than just a couple of episodes pushed together or extended. What it does do, that so many movie versions of animations tend to do, is enter into the real world but unlike the rest, it really works. What I love about SpongeBob SquarePants is just how silly it all is. There really aren't lessons to be learned from SpongeBob cartoons, they're simple, have old school animation, and are always funny and very very silly. It's the sort of nonsense kids really should be watching. Being the big movie version there are a few cameo voices including Jeffrey Tambor as King Neptune, Scarlett Johansson as his daughter Princess Mindy and Alec Baldwin as a hitman hired by a plankton. It's all good, very entertaining, something for all ages to enjoy, it's bigger, better yadda yadda yadda. The big thing that makes The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie so great though is one scene in particular and that's the one and only live action cameo. Writer, director and SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg wanted to end the film with something special and that is exactly what he delivers. Finding themselves stranded on a beach and miles away from their home in Bikini Bottom, SpongBob and Patrick come across David Hasselhoff running towards them in full Baywatch mode. He then offers them a ride on his back, promising to swim them all the way home, which he does at high speed. It is one of the greatest things I have ever seen in the history of cinema. Hillenburg was very happy with his idea and sold it without much effort to the other writers and storyboard artists. A huge 12-foot, 340 kg life-like model of Hasselhoff in a swim stance was built for $100,000 before anyone had even asked the Hoff if it was okay with him. Luckily The Hoffmiester has a great sense of humour and while he was said to be a little taken aback by the huge model of himself (which he ended up keeping) he thought the script was funny and was happy to be part of it. The rest is history. It's the finale of all finales, I was amused, astonished and utterly captivated by what they did and I genuinely think it was a special moment in the history of cinema.

Howl's Moving Castle

Dir: Hayao Miyazaki

2004

***

I remember reading Diana Wynne Jones' Howl's Moving Castle back when I was in school. I was bewitched by the original cover artwork that made it look like a sci-fi fantasy horror, which I was really into at the time. However, it was not the Isaac Asimov/Philip K. Dick novel I had thought it might be, or the Joseph Millard/Andre Norton book I really hoped it would be. I remembered little about it other than the lesson that I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. So when in 2004 Studio Ghibli released Howl's Moving Castle, I thought maybe it was a coincidence or maybe it was named out of tribute, as Hayao Miyazaki often does for those that have inspired him. But no, this is an adaptation, Miyazaki clearly saw something in the story that no one else did and I have to say it is a remarkable achievement. That said, I didn't like it all that much, especially compared to Ghibli's other films. I thought that the story was far too similar to some of Ghibli/Miyazaki's earlier films and I thought many of the themes had already been covered by them in a much more creative manner. Miyazaki has declared that this is his favourite film of his, personally it is by far my least favourite of his, even though his underlying themes appeal. They're not initially obvious though, I did see the film as anti-war in places but he has declared many times that his version of Howl's Moving Castle is a direct reference to the US's invasion of Iraq in 2003. Miyazaki was 'enraged' by the war and said he wanted to make a subliminal film about it that would be hated in America. It wasn't hated but it is no one’s favourite other than his, so it kind of backfired but was also somewhat of a success at the same time. The original book dealt with the class system and challenged gender stereotyping but the film concentrates more with themes of old age. Stop fighting and cherish life is the overall message but it does seem to take a rather convoluted route in getting it across. I think a really strong sci-fi fantasy has been weighted down somewhat with too many musings and moral preaching, something Ghibli has often done but their beautiful subtlety that is something of a signature of theirs is absent without leave. To be blunt, I didn't care much for the style or animation either. However, I did like many of the various characters and I liked Miyazaki's intentions. He has made a rather dull book into a exciting and mysterious adventure so credit due. He is a visionary and this is another great addition to his work but it isn't the genius that we've become used to.