The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Dir: Stephen Hillenburg, Mark Osborne

2004

****

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie came out at the peak of SpongeBob SquarePants mania. However, unlike most movie versions of popular TV shows, it was so much more than just a couple of episodes pushed together or extended. What it does do, that so many movie versions of animations tend to do, is enter into the real world but unlike the rest, it really works. What I love about SpongeBob SquarePants is just how silly it all is. There really aren't lessons to be learned from SpongeBob cartoons, they're simple, have old school animation, and are always funny and very very silly. It's the sort of nonsense kids really should be watching. Being the big movie version there are a few cameo voices including Jeffrey Tambor as King Neptune, Scarlett Johansson as his daughter Princess Mindy and Alec Baldwin as a hitman hired by a plankton. It's all good, very entertaining, something for all ages to enjoy, it's bigger, better yadda yadda yadda. The big thing that makes The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie so great though is one scene in particular and that's the one and only live action cameo. Writer, director and SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg wanted to end the film with something special and that is exactly what he delivers. Finding themselves stranded on a beach and miles away from their home in Bikini Bottom, SpongBob and Patrick come across David Hasselhoff running towards them in full Baywatch mode. He then offers them a ride on his back, promising to swim them all the way home, which he does at high speed. It is one of the greatest things I have ever seen in the history of cinema. Hillenburg was very happy with his idea and sold it without much effort to the other writers and storyboard artists. A huge 12-foot, 340 kg life-like model of Hasselhoff in a swim stance was built for $100,000 before anyone had even asked the Hoff if it was okay with him. Luckily The Hoffmiester has a great sense of humour and while he was said to be a little taken aback by the huge model of himself (which he ended up keeping) he thought the script was funny and was happy to be part of it. The rest is history. It's the finale of all finales, I was amused, astonished and utterly captivated by what they did and I genuinely think it was a special moment in the history of cinema.

Kung Fu Panda

Dir: Mark Osborne

2008

****

I have a problem with anthropomorphic animals, especially when they talk. I think it stems from the many sleepless nights I had as a child as I asked myself why it was that Goofy could talk, wear clothes and drive a car while Pluto sniffed and barked and didn't wear clothes. If something is worth doing, it is worth doing well and comprehensively and many animated films simply do not comply with this rule of thought. Kung Fu Panda isn't one of them, in fact, Kung Fu Panda excels in its field. It has the impressive ensemble of voice actors (including Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogan, David Cross and James Hong), beautiful animation, a distinct style and a good story. More importantly, it understands the martial arts genre. It’s an age old theme, unlikely outsider, seen as clumsy and a bit of a fool, is declared the chosen one by a higher being (Master Oogway, an ancient Galapagos tortoise with a higher level of Kung Fu knowledge and a whimsical sense of humour - voiced by Randall Duk Kim) and spends the rest of the film trying to convince others and himself that he really is. It's extremely endearing, Po the Panda (voiced by Jack Black) being one of the more lovable editions to the world of CGI animation. Dreamworks pictures are very hit and miss but Kung Fu Panda is their best by far in my opinion. It ticks all the right boxes that make it perfect for children and adults. It's very funny, looks stunning and is highly inventive. Not only is it one of the best animated films of the millennium so far but it’s also a very strong Kung Fu film in its own right.