Freaked

Dir: Alex Winter, Tom Stern

1993

*****

Something terrible happened in the early 90s. Studios, who would quite happily let established directors piss money up the walls, suddenly lost their bottle. You have to look at the Coppola’s of the game, who over-ran on projects and made many a studio executive’s heart weak. They made a few masterpieces for sure, but their work ethic made studios nervous because it lost them money. It’s always about the money, which is understandable, but more and more studios couldn’t see beyond the money. Now I am surprised that 20th Century Fox went for the film quite as much as they did. Alex Winter and Tom Stern pitched the idea to 20th Century Fox and Joe Roth, the head of the studio at that time, loved the idea and offered the two a twelve million dollar deal to direct it, despite the fact that neither of them had any experience directing a major Hollywood film and had never even shot on 35mm film before. Freaked, originally called Hideous Mutant Freekz, was conceived around the time Winter and Stern had directed 1988's Bar-B-Que Movie, a short film starring and featuring the music of rock band Butthole Surfers. Winter, Stern and Surfers frontman Gibby Haynes began work on the first draft of the script, envisioning it as an obscene, ultra-violent horror film once again featuring the Butthole Surfers, costing around $100,000. The idea was, as Alex Winter put it, "Beach Blanket Bingo meets The Evil Dead". The two fished the script around to various studios for years, but to no avail. Following the end of production on Stern and Winter's MTV sketch comedy show The Idiot Box, staff writer Tim Burns was recruited to join the two in a number of rewrites. The film was completely revisioned, dropping the aspect of the Butthole Surfers entirely and turning it into a full comedy in the vein of the Monty Python and MAD Magazine-inspired humour that was present in The Idiot Box. Joe Roth loved it but signed them up on the condition that the film had to be rewritten and toned down to fit a PG-13 rating; therefore, most of the profanity was written out of the final draft to fit MPAA standards. Within a month of being picked up, the film began production. However, during filming, Joe Roth was fired as studio head by Rupert Murdoch and replaced with Peter Chernin, who didn't like the film nor the fact that twelve million dollars was being invested in it. It was perhaps a little premature of Roth to release a line of action figures, a novelization and, most notably, a comic book released by Hamilton Comics that was drawn before most of the casting was completed, so none of its characters looked anything like their real-life counterparts. Chernin cut the film's post-production budget, thus forcing a lot of the soundtrack (including a demo song that Iggy Pop had recorded for the closing credits) and special effects to be greatly cut down or eliminated altogether. The film's title was changed, as well, from the poorly received "Hideous Mutant Freekz" to the supposedly more accessible "Freaked", a title neither Winter nor Stern much cared for. After several poor test screenings, Fox chose to pull the film from a nationwide release and cut its advertising budget, leaving no money for commercials or newspaper ads. Despite initial positive critical response, the film opened in October 1993 on only two screens, making a mere $6,957 in its first weekend. It quickly dropped out of theatres, making less than $30,000 and becoming a box-office failure. It doesn’t take a genius to see that by trying to save money, the studio ended up loosing way more than they had to. The whole concept of test screening is utterly ridiculous. The film is amazing, a cult classic, although so few people have seen it it still isn’t the cult classic it deserves to be acknowledged as. It’s everything I love about the 90s. It begins with Skye Daley (Brooke Shields) as she is interviewing beloved former child star Ricky Coogin (Alex Winter). Rather bluntly, Skye asks how Ricky so quickly went from one of America's sweethearts to a name that makes children scream in terror. Ricky, completely in silhouette, begins his story. Ricky is shown accepting an endorsement contract from slimy mega-corporation E.E.S. (Everything Except Shoes) to promote "Zygrot 24", a toxic fertilizer, in South America. Although hesitant at first, the greedy, self-centered Coogin caves in after their sleazy CEO (William Sadler) offers him $5,000,000. Ricky travels immediately to the South American town of "Santa Flan" with his buddy Ernie (Michael Stoyanov). During their flight, the duo have a run-in with Ricky's 12-year old number one fan Stuey Gluck (Alex Zuckerman). Stuey begs Rick not to promote Zygrot 24 only to accidentally fall out of the plane. Once Ricky and Ernie arrive in Santa Flan, they cross paths with an angry group protesting Zygrot 24 and Ricky. In the group is environmentalist Julie (Megan Ward), who Ricky is instantly smitten with. The two con Julie into thinking they're also environmentalists (Ricky posing as a highly injured accident victim, his face covered in bandages) and she agrees to join them on a trip to another protest. However, she soon finds out their true identities and the three are stuck with each other for the rest of the drive. They decide to take a detour to see Freek Land, a local freak show only to wind up in the clutches of demented proprietor and mad scientist Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid) and his henchman, Toad (Jaime Cardriche). Utilizing his "Testy Freeks Machine", he merges Julie and Ernie into a single body and turns Ricky into a hideous green mutation. As Elijah has run out of Zygrot, only half of Ricky's body is mutated. Ricky meets the other freaks, including Ortiz the Dog Boy (an uncredited Keanu Reeves) Worm (Derek McGrath) a giant arthropod, Cowboy (John Hawkes) a literal anthropomorphic cow, the Bearded Lady (Mr. T in a dress) and Sockhead (Bobcat Goldthwait), who has a sock puppet for a head. Ricky has trouble adjusting to his new life as a freak, though he opens up when some of the other freaks recount how they were captured and disfigured by Elijah. During his first performance, Ricky foregoes his act (which inexplicably had him dressing like a caveman) and with some suggestions from Worm he performs a Shakespearean monologue which captivates the audience. Spotting his agent in the crowd, Ricky jumps off the stage hoping to be rescued, but flies into a murderous rage when the agent makes fun of him. Ricky tears his agent's head off and the crowd runs screaming into the night, with Elijah simply noting "that's what I call entertainment." The next day Ricky discovers to his horror that he is seeing a floating specter of Stuey. He angrily shoes Stuey's astral form away, but Cowboy states that only a pair of soulmates can have such a strong telepathic bond. After multiple failed attempts to sell the story to newspapers Stuey manages to sell Ricky's story to the Weekly World News, who will print anything, but ends up being captured by a group of shady businessmen that work for E.E.S. Ricky tries to escape by stealing the outfit of a milkman, only to be captured by Skuggs's gun-toting Rastafarian eyeball henchmen (literally giant eyeballs with Rastafarian accents and headwear) and brought before Elijah. Skuggs tells Ricky he plans to have him fully mutated into a blood-thirsty monster who will kill all the other freaks at the next show. On his way back to the freaks shed, he runs into the other freaks also making an escape attempt, and also dressed as milkmen. Ricky butts heads with Ortiz and the two fight until Ortiz is distracted by a squirrel and runs off, the Rasta eyeballs in pursuit. With Ortiz gone Ricky is named the new Freaks leader. Ricky and the freaks break into Skugg's lab to create a serum that will complete Ricky's mutation and have him kill Skuggs instead of the freaks. Ricky accidentally leaves the concoction in the lab, but finds a bag of tasty macaroons which the freaks enjoy. Ricky eventually finds out that Elijah's Zygrot suppliers are none other than E.E.S., who arrive at Freek Land with a shipment of Zygrot 24 and an imprisoned Stuey Gluck. As they discuss their plans to mutate the world's population into an race of E.E.S workers and consumers, Stuey follows a telepathic tip from Rick and manages to escape, grabbing the coffee can of mutation goo left behind by Ricky along the way. On the night of the show, Stuey appears with the batch of Zygrot only to have an annoyed biker dump it onto him, which turns him into a grotesque seven-foot monster. Stuey kills the biker and prepares to storm the stage and save Ricky. The Rasta eyeballs attempt to kill Stuey but he kicks dust into their eyes, blinding them. Toad tries to swallow Stuey only for Julie and Ernie to throw an M80 onto Toad's tongue which he swallows and promptly explodes. In response, Elijah infects Ricky with his own Zygrot, turning him into an equally grotesque seven-foot monster. As Ricky and Stuey battle to the death onstage, Elijah notices the E.E.S. executives trying to steal his equipment. Elijah stops them by soaking them with a Zygrot bazooka, mutating and merging them all into a giant, fleshy shoe. Right before Ricky is about to destroy Stuey, Cowboy reminds him that Stuey is his soulmate. A wave of compassion comes over him, and he gives Stuey a hug. Enraged, Elijah unsuccessfully tries to fight Ricky, who bashes him in the head, breaking his spine. Skuggs tries to get Ricky not to kill him by offering him the antidote for his mutation, telling him it was a time-delayed serum baked into a batch of macaroons. Ricky comments that he skimped on the sugar and punches Skuggs, sending him flying into the vat of Zygrot 24. An FBI task force arrives to save Ricky after having learned of Stuey's article. Skuggs suddenly reemerges from the Vat, having taken the form of Skye Daley. The FBI task force guns Skuggs/Skye down.Back at the interview, it's revealed that Ricky had turned back to normal (along with most of the other freaks, except for Worm, who hates Macaroons). They are then joined by Ortiz who has finally caught the squirrel and Stuey, still a giant super-freak. Skye comments on Elijah mutating to look like her, and Ricky realizes that Skye actually is Elijah. Skuggs lunges after Ricky with a machete, only to be gunned down by the now normal Julie. As she embraces Ricky, Skye rises again, this time to be gunned down by Ernie. Ricky and Julie kiss and everyone waves farewell to the audience until the film ends on a frozen shot of Skuggs once again rising up to attack Ricky. It was the ultimate film to me back in 1993. It had Bill & Ted, it had Brooke Shields, it had MR T!!! It is amazing John Hawkes had such a shining career after this. William Sadler, from Bill & Ted, was great and this was probably my favourite Randy Quaid performance of all time. I also think Bobcat Goldthwait’s Sockhead is the greatest character of all time and should have had his own film. Add to that the great music and the amazing special effects from the three best effects companies of the day: Tony Gardner's company Alterian, Inc., Steve Johnson's XFX, Inc., and Screaming Mad George's Studio and what you are left with is possibly the greatest example of early 90s counter-culture. This would have been a classic had it been given a proper release. The irony is that it would be a better known film had it been as bad as the studio thought it was. Films like Troll 2 are now official cult classics because they’re known as ‘best worst’ but Freaked doesn’t fall into that category. Freaked is the best, it’s just that not enough people know it.

The Dark Crystal

Dir: Jim Henson, Frank Oz

1982

*****

The Dark Crystal was a huge part of my childhood. While I adore the Muppets, I liked its darker side while also feeling safe, knowing that uncle Henson was at the helm. According to co-director and fellow Muppet man Frank Oz, Henson's intention was to "get back to the darkness of the original Grimms' Fairy Tales", as he believed that it was unhealthy for children to never be afraid. I’ll be honest and say that I always preferred Labyrinth but Dark Crystal was something else, something made for us kids that felt like something we shouldn’t be watching while also feeling like something we simply couldn’t miss. The film's conception lay in Jim Henson's short-lived The Land of Gorch, which also took place in an alien world with no human characters while the visuals were influenced by Leonard B. Lubin’s illustrations that featured in a 1975 edition of Lewis Carroll’s poetry showing crocodiles living in a palace and wearing elaborate robes and jewelry. Henson combined his ideas into a 25-page story he entitled The Crystal, which he wrote whilst snowed in at an airport hotel with his then 17-year-old daughter Cheryl on scraps of hotel note paper. Work on the film didn't begin in earnest until 1979, after the completion of The Muppet Movie in 1979 which was shot in Los Angeles. Dark Crystal was shot in England, back to back with The Great Muppet Caper in 1981. Set a thousand years ago on the planet Thra, we learn that two new races appeared when a powerful Crystal cracked: the malevolent Skeksis, who use the power of the Dark Crystal to continually replenish themselves, and the kind wizards called urRu, more commonly known as the Mystics. Jen, a young Gelfling taken in by the urRu after his clan was killed, is told by his urRu Master on his deathbed, that he must heal the Crystal, which can only occur if he finds a Shard being kept by the astronomer Aughra, Keeper of Secrets. If he fails to do so before the planet's three suns align, then the Skeksis will rule forever. Jen's Master then dies. Meanwhile, the Skeksis' Emperor also dies and a duel ensues between the Skeksis' Chamberlain and the Master of their large crab-like Garthim, both of whom desire the throne. The Garthim-Master wins and the Chamberlain is subsequently exiled. Learning of Jen's existence, the Skeksis send the Garthim to track him. Jen reaches Aughra and is taken to her home, which contains an enormous orrery she uses to predict the motions of the heavens. She has a box full of Shards, from which Jen selects the correct one by playing a note on his flute, causing it to resonate. Aughra tells Jen of the upcoming Great Conjunction, the alignment of the three suns, but he learns little of its connection to the Shard. At that point, the Garthim arrive and destroy Aughra's home, taking her prisoner as Jen flees. Hearing the call of the Crystal, the urRu leave their valley to travel to the Skeksis' Castle. On his journey through the swamp, Jen meets Kira, another surviving Gelfling who can communicate with animals. They discover that they have a telepathic connection, which Kira calls "dreamfasting", and share memories of being forced from their homes. They stay for a night with the Podlings, who raised Kira after the death of her parents. However, the Garthim raid the village, capturing most of the Podlings. Jen, Kira, and Kira's pet Fizzgig flee when the Chamberlain stops the Garthim from attacking them, intent on gaining their trust. Jen and Kira discover a ruined Gelfling city with ancient writing describing a prophecy: "When single shines the triple sun, what was sundered and undone shall be whole. The two made one by Gelfling hand or else by none." They are interrupted by the Chamberlain, who claims that the Skeksis want to make peace and wants the Gelflings to return to the Castle with him, but they do not trust him and refuse his offer. Riding on Landstriders, Jen and Kira arrive at the Skeksis' Castle and intercept the Garthim that attacked Kira's village. While trying to free the captured Podlings, Kira, Jen, and Fizzgig descend to the bottom of the Castle's dry moat and use a lower-level entrance to gain access. They are followed by the Chamberlain, who repeats his peace offer; when they refuse again, he buries Jen in a cave-in and takes Kira to the Castle. The Garthim-Master reinstates him to his former position, and the Skeksis' Scientist tries to drain Kira's life essence for the Garthim-Master to drink so that he can regain his youth. Aughra, imprisoned in the Scientist's laboratory, tells Kira to call for help from the animals held captive; they break free in response, releasing Kira and causing the Scientist to fall into the pit to his death. His urRu counterpart simultaneously vanishes. Aughra also escapes, and later rescues Fizzgig. The three suns begin to align as Jen and Kira reach the Crystal Chamber, and the Skeksis gather for the ritual that will grant them immortality. Jen leaps onto the Crystal but drops the Shard; Kira throws it back to him but is fatally impaled by the Skeksis' Ritual-Master. Jen inserts the Shard into the Crystal, fulfilling the prophecy just as the Mystics enter the Crystal Chamber. The Castle's dark walls disintegrate to reveal a structure of a bright Crystal; and the urRu and Skeksis merge into tall glowing beings known as urSkeks. The leader of the urSkeks explains that they had mistakenly shattered the Crystal long ago, splitting them into two races and decimating Thra, and that Jen, in fulfilling the prophecy, has restored them. The urSkeks revive Kira in gratitude for her sacrifice and Jen's courage, and then ascend to a higher level of existence, leaving the Crystal to the Gelflings on the now-rejuvenated Thra. It was one of those films that stayed with you long after viewing and I felt as a child that I’d learn something new in every repeat viewing – and there were many repeat viewings. It was dark, I was scared of the Skeksis and the Garthim. Chamberlain’s whine went right through me and even Aughra frightened me in a septic Miss Piggy sort of way. However, addressing the balance was the wonderfully cuddly urRu, the Dozer-like Podlings and of course Fizzgig. Henson's original concept was set in a world called Mithra, a wooded land with talking mountains, walking boulders and animal-plant hybrids. The original plot involved a malevolent race called the Reptus group, which took power in a coup against the peaceful Eunaze, led by Malcolm the Wise. The last survivor of the Eunaze was Malcolm's son Brian, who was adopted by the Bada, Mithra's mystical wizards. This draft contained elements in the final product, including the three races, the two funerals, the quest, a female secondary character, the Crystal, and the reunification of the two races during the Great Conjunction. "Mithra" was later abbreviated to "Thra", due to similarities the original name had with an ancient Persian deity. Most of the philosophical undertones of the film were inspired from Jane Roberts' "Seth Material". Henson kept multiple copies of the book Seth Speaks, and insisted that Froud and screenwriter David Odell read it prior to collaborating for the film. Odell later wrote that Aughra's line "He could be anywhere then," upon being told by Jen that his Master was dead, could not have been written without having first read Roberts' material. The Bada were renamed "Ooo-urrrs," which Henson would pronounce "very slowly and with a deep resonant voice." Odell simplified the spelling to urRu, though they were ultimately named Mystics in the theatrical cut. The word "Skeksis" was initially meant to be the plural, with "Skesis" being singular, though this was dropped early in the filming process. Originally, Henson wanted the Skeksis to speak their own constructed language, with the dialogue subtitled in English. Brian Froud was chosen as concept artist after Henson saw one of his paintings in the book Once upon a time. The characters in the film are elaborate puppets, and none are based on humans or any other specific Earth creature. Before its release, The Dark Crystal was billed as the first live-action film without any human beings on screen, and "a showcase for cutting-edge animatronics". The hands and facial features of the groundbreaking animatronic puppets in the film were controlled with relatively primitive rods and cables, although radio control later took over many of the subtler movements. Human performers inside the puppets supplied basic movement for the larger creatures, which in some cases was dangerous or exhausting; for example, the Garthim costumes were so heavy that the performers had to be hung up on a rack every few minutes to rest while still inside the costumes. A mime from Switzerland was hired to help choreograph the movements of the puppeteers. When conceptualizing the Skeksis, Henson had in mind the Seven deadly sins, though because there were 10 Skeksis, some sins had to be invented or used twice. Froud originally designed them to resemble deep sea fish, but later designed them as "part reptile, part predatory bird, part dragon", with an emphasis on giving them a "penetrating stare."  Each Skeksis was conceived as having a different "job" or function, thus each puppet was draped in multicolored robes meant to reflect their personalities and thought processes. Each Skeksis suit required a main performer, whose arm would be extended over his or her head in order to operate the creature's facial movements, while the other arm operated its left hand. Another performer would operate the Skeksis' right arm. The Skeksis performers compensated for their lack of vision by having a monitor tied to their chests. In designing the Mystics, Froud portrayed them as being more connected to the natural world than their Skeksis counterparts. Henson intended to convey the idea that they were purged of all materialistic urges, yet were incapable of acting in the real world. Froud also incorporated geometric symbolism throughout the film in order to hint at the implied unity of the two races. The Mystics were the hardest creatures to perform, as the actors had to walk on their haunches with their right arm extended forward, with the full weight of the head on it. Henson himself could hold a position in a Mystic costume for only 5–10 seconds. The Gelflings were designed and sculpted by Wendy Midener. They were difficult to perform, as they were meant to be the most human creatures in the film, and thus their movements, particularly their gait, had to be as realistic as possible. During scenes when the Gelflings' legs were off-camera, the performers walked on their knees in order to make the character's movements more lifelike. According to Odell, the character Jen was Henson's way of projecting himself into the film. The character Fizzgig was invented by Frank Oz, who wanted a character who served the same function as the Muppet poodle Foo-Foo, feeling that, like Miss Piggy, the character Kira needed an outlet for her caring, nurturing side. The character's design was meant to convey the idea of a "boyfriend-repellent", to contrast the popular idea that it is easier to form a bond with a member of the opposite sex with the assistance of a cute dog. The Dark Crystal was the last film in which the great cinematographer Oswald Morris involved himself in before retiring. He shot all the footage with a "light flex", a unit placed in front of the camera which gave a faint color tint to each scene in order to give the film a more fairy tale atmosphere similar to Froud's original paintings. Once filming was completed, the film's release was delayed after Lew Grade (who famously brought the Muppets to the UK) sold ITC Entertainment to Robert Holmes à Court, who was skeptical of the film's potential, due to the bad reactions at the. The film was afforded minimal advertisement and release until Henson bought it from Holmes à Court and funded its release with his own money. I think it is safe to say the world wasn’t ready for it in 1982 (they were expecting more Muppet-like things from Henson), at least, the adults weren’t. Us kids loved it and it has since become a beloved classic.

The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot

Dir: Robert D. Krzykowski

2018

*****

I have a rule that applies to film, beer and betting on horses – be weary of the one with the funniest name, as it is almost always disappointing/tastes bland/comes last. Not The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot though, this film is one of 2018’s best. Robert Krzykowski’s debut boasts beautiful visuals and a brilliant leading performance from the great Sam Elliott but the name is clearly an issue for some people. I think people have passed it by and brushed it aside, mistaking it for a b-movie, or even worse, a satirical b-movie with an amazing poster that is smug and self-aware, but still a crumby b-movie. It may be a low-budget film but it ain’t no b-movie. In fact, its one of the last great American-American films in my humble opinion. Set sometime in the mid to late 1980s, the story follows Calvin Barr (Sam Elliott), an old man living his retirement days in his quiet hometown with only his faithful dog as company. While resting, walking and sitting upon his porch, Barr reminiscences about his past, specifically his time as a special ops soldier during the Second World War. It is clear that Barr is full of regret, resentment and sadness. As a young man (played by Aidan Turner) he was full of life and was looking forward to a life with his sweetheart Maxine (played by Caitlin FitzGerald) until his country asked him to make the ultimate sacrifice, saying goodbye to his old life and going on a secret mission to assassinate Adolf Hitler. He does indeed kill Hitler but the operation was made classified and was never revealed to the public. Barr returned home to the life he had before, no heroes welcome and Maxine had moved on. Barr doesn’t like the thought that he has killed, even though it was Hitler and he feels quiet resentment for the loss of the life he wanted to have.  Life now is about reflection, he is a man of few words. He has a daily routing, one that sometimes includes visiting his brother Ed (Larry Miller) in his barbershop, the only person he speaks with and has a connection to. We soon learn though that he isn’t such an old man and his abilities and strength are still sound as he fights off a group of thugs intent on stealing his car. Soon after, he notices he is being followed by two mysterious looking men. The men eventually approach him identifying themselves as joint American and a Canadian government agents. They explain that all life on Earth may be coming to an end as a strange virus has been killing people and animals around the world and the original source of the virus is Bigfoot itself. Knowing Barr is a highly trained tracker and survivalist, can keep a secret and is somehow one of the few people on Earth immune to the virus, the agents try to recruit him to go into the wilderness and kill the Bigfoot in hopes it will end the epidemic. Barr hunts the Bigfoot, wounding him. After much tracking, he finds the Bigfoot dying. Barr chooses to burn the body rather than turn it over to the government, but this was a trap set up by the Bigfoot who then attacks Barr, maiming him. The two fight until Barr stabs the Bigfoot to death. Barr lays back, seemingly dying from his wound. The screen fades to Barr's funeral as his brother gives a beautiful eulogy. He is presumed dead and a few of his belongings are buried instead of a body. A little time passes and Ed goes fishing with Barr's dog whom he has adopted. Barr appears and greets him and the two go fishing together. Barr later digs up his casket to retrieve keepsakes. Like I say, this ain’t no sensationalist b-movie and the fact that John Sayles and Douglas Trumbull acted as producers should go some way in suggesting as much. It also stars Ron Livingston, who seems to be concentrating on quality over quantity of late and I seem to love pretty much everything he has appeared in, proving himself to be something of a quality measure. The assassination of Hitler and the killing of Bigfoot are side-notes in a slow-burn character study, however, the character here is bigger than just one man. Basically, Barr is an allegory of modern America. Stay with me here folks. The film starts as an allegory of the USA vs the Nazis and then the fight against Bigfoot is an allegory of the cold war. Russian solders help Barr locate Hitler and in one particular scene where he is shaved by a Russian General, the General predicts the outcome of the war by comparing the two men. The shave is an act of great trust and he refers to Barr as ‘Mr. America’. Barr feels empty, as if the mission wasn’t over after he killed Hitler. He killed the man but he didn’t kill his ideas. Bigfoot represents an illogical fear, it is both sensationalist (as were many scandals and ideas of the time) and ridiculous (the idea that Bigfoot is a virus that will spread to the whole world (like communism). Barr is somehow immune (the American soldier/patriot) and others are either too old or too young to do the job. It’s another sacrifice, an easy one for the government, because Barr has nothing to loose, knows that it needs to be done and is well aware of what the American dream is and that in reality, it is all an illusion. The Bigfoot isn’t quite the beast we all think of it as and Barr sees himself in it. Once he does vanquish him though, he feels that somehow his mission is complete, he is declared dead but he lives on and is at peace. The dates on his grave are the same as the fall of the Soviet Union but he digs up his own grave and collects his possession so that he, the American solder, is ready to fight again in needed. There are lots of things to consider and I think a lot of it is open to interpretation. Hitler did exist but killing him didn’t really do anything and nobody knows about it, while on the other hand, Bigfoot doesn’t really exist but killing him did make a difference, and the fact that no one knows about it is fine. I think it’s a great personal and historical journey through America, not necessarily based on fact (definitely not based on fact) but on feeling. It’s quirky but also compellingly deep. Make what you will but if you’re looking for a film along the lines of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter than I’m afraid this isn’t it, it’s far better in my opinion. I’m going to go as far as saying that its something of an alternative masterpiece.

The Belly of an Architect

Dir: Peter Greenaway

1987

*****

Peter Greenaway’s lavish opus is an astonishing exploration of art and metaphor, telling the story of Etienne-Louis Boullee through the obsessions of a contemporary architect. Brian Dennehy was quoted after the release as saying "I've made lots of movies but only one film." The film begins with American architect Stourley Kracklite (Dennehy) mounting his wife Louisa (Chloe Webb) next to a window of a speeding train as it crosses the French-Italian boarder. Kracklite has been commissioned to construct an exhibition in Rome dedicated to the architecture of his idol Étienne-Louis Boullée. Doubts arise among his Italian colleagues about the legitimacy of Boullée among the pantheon of famed architects, perhaps because Boullée was an inspiration for Adolf Hitler's architect Albert Speer. Kracklite immerses himself in his work and in Rome, indulging himself wherever possible – represented most by his greed for food. Tirelessly dedicated to the project, Kracklite's marriage deteriorates, along with his health. His social and physical decline corresponds to the decline of his idol Boullée, who until the 20th century was hardly known. Kracklite becomes obsessed with the historical Caesar Augustus after hearing that Livia, his wife, supposedly poisoned him. Kracklite assumes that his own wife, Louisa, is trying to do the same because he is suffering increasing stomach pains. She informs him that she is pregnant, and is sexually involved with the younger co-organiser of the exhibition. He discovers that he has a stomach cancer and has not long to live. The film ends at opening ceremony, which Kracklite watches from a higher vantage point. Louisa gives birth to their child, and Kracklite jumps to his death. Belly of an Architect uses far more metaphor than most of Greenaway’s work and is less abstract. I like Brian Dennehy in pretty much everything he’s been in but this was the role that was made for him, the best of his career and indeed, one of the best of all time. Greenaway's visual technique heightens Kracklite's alienation. It is as grandiose as you’d expect from the cult director but for once it is far more controlled and intentional. There are few close-up shots of the other actors beside Dennehy, who himself is dwarfed by the dominance of the Roman architecture surrounding him. Greenaway's trademark historical reenactments also compose a major theme as many visual images of the film appear to replicate major 18th-century works of art and architecture. In addition there are subtle references to Isaac Newton and the law of gravity, perhaps alluding to Kracklite's own inability to escape the physical laws of mortality, as well as Boullée’s project for the Cenotaph, for Isaac Newton, which has been studied by architects for its viability for years, not least by Albert Speer who modeled the New Berlin for Hitler. The cake presented to Kracklite at the initial banquet is also perfect replica of Boullee's drawings for the Isaac Newton Cenotaph. The visuals of Rome are stunning and every frame is beautiful. The controlled movement coming in and out of every composition is seemless but so vital to the overall feel and theme. It is compelling and utterly breathtaking. Wim Mertens' musical accompaniment is also brilliant and on par with any modern minimalist composition. Film and theatre have enjoyed a long relationship with one another, as has art in general, but never before have all three been married so successfully. When one is asked to think of some of the great films of the 1980s, you can’t help but think of films such as Back to the Future, The Goonies, a John Hughes film maybe or a Steven Spielberg picture. You’d be forgiven (but only just) for forgetting or overlooking films such as Cinema Paradiso, Fitzcarraldo, Babette’s Feast and The Belly of an Architect but these are, among many, the best films of the decade by a country mile that seem unattached to the time they were made. Indeed, they are timeless masterpieces and everything element of Greenway's epic is perfect.

Sweet and Lowdown

Dir: Woody Allen

1999

*****

Sweet and Lowdown might just be my favourite Woody Allen film. I think what I really like about it is how un-Woody Allen it is. It tells the (unfortunately) fictional tale of Emmet Ray (played by Sean Penn), a jazz guitarist who achieved some acclaim in the 1930s with a handful of recordings for RCA Victor, but who faded from public view under mysterious circumstances. Though a talented musician, Ray's personal life is a mess. He’s a drunk, a spendthrift, a womanizer and a pimp who believes that falling in love will ruin his musical career. Due to his heavy drinking, he's often late or even absent for performances. After music, his favorite hobby is shooting rats at garbage dumps. One night while on a double date with his drummer, Ray meets Hattie (played by Samantha Morton), an incredibly shy and mute laundress. After overcoming some initial frustration due to the difficulties of communication, Ray and Hattie form an affectionate and close relationship – perfect for him as someone who loves to talk and be listened to. She accompanies him on a cross-country trip to Hollywood where he plays in a short film; Hattie is suddenly spotted by a director and enjoys a brief screen career herself. However Ray is convinced that a musician of his stature should never settle down with one woman and on a whim, he marries socialite Blanche Williams (played by Uma Thurman). However, Blanche sees Ray mainly as a colorful example of lower-class life and a source of inspiration for her literary writings. She reports that Ray is tormented by nightmares and shouts out Hattie's name in his sleep. When Blanche cheats with mobster Al Torrio (the brilliant Anthony LaPaglia), Ray leaves her and locates Hattie. He assumes that she will take him back, but discovers that she is happily married and raising a family. Afterwards, on a date with a new woman, a despondent Ray plays a melody that Hattie adored and then smashes his guitar and forlornly repeats the phrase "I made a mistake!" He angrily smashes his guitar to pieces as his date leaves him. Never has a film had such a fitting title. Sean Penn is brilliant and out of all of his amazing performances I think this is my favorite. I also fell in love with Samantha Morton in this film – she’s never made a bad film and is always impeccable but here she is something special. Weirdly her performance is based on Harpo Marx, which I kind of get. I generally don’t like Allen’s signature move of interrupting a film with interviews and talking heads from critics and biographers but it kind of worked here. It did make me think it was a true story at first though, so it was a great disappointment to release it was fiction (I searched for hours to try and find some Emmet Ray recordings). Allen actually wrote the bulk of the script back in 1969 after he directed his debut Take the Money and Run. Back then it was called The Jazz baby. He took the idea to United Artists who he had a ‘write whatever you want to write’ contract with. They basically answered with a stern ‘write whatever you want to write except this’. United wanted comedy from Allen, so he wrote Bananas and The Jazz Baby sat on the shelf for a couple of decades until 1995. Allen made a few rewrites and played homage to Federico Fellini’s La Strada, having the characters of Emmet and Hattie correspond to Zampano and Gelsomina, particularly in the film’s final scene. I’m so glad Johnny Depp - who was first offered the main role – dropped out fairly early on due to scheduling conflicts. It’s a great film, think what you will of Allen (I don’t think much of him at all) this is one of his best. Sweet and Lowdown indeed.

The Happiness of the Katakuris
Dir: Takashi Miike
2001
*****
If you are aware of the works of Takashi Miike then you will know to expect the unexpected, the strange, the wonderful and often the disturbing. No one does weird like Takashi Miike and his 2001 musical/comedy/horror The Happiness of the Katakuris is about as weird as it gets, however, I would argue that it is his most accessible - while 1999’s Audition is his most mainstream film but certainly not for anyone with a weak heart or nervous disposition. The film is actually a remake of the South Korean film The Quiet Family that came out in 1998. A remake with a Takashi Miike, as the original was a comedy horror but none of it was animated and at no point did the cast break into song. Kim Jee-woon, director of The Quiet Family, is also somewhat of a left-field film maker, so this is most certainly a tribute to him. Much like The Quiet Family, the Katakuris are a four-generation family of failures: patriarch Masao Katakuri (Kenji Sawada), his wife Terue (Keiko Matsuzaka), his father Jinpei (Tetsurō Tamba), his formerly criminal son Masayuki (Shinji Takeda), his divorced daughter Shizue (Naomi Nishida), her child Yurie (Tamaki Miyazaki, who narrates the film), and their dog, Pochi. The idea is essentially to risk everything in pursuit of the family ideal. So the family uses the father's redundancy pay to purchase a large old home situated on a former garbage dump near Mount Fuji that they have named the ‘White Lover's Inn'. They have the intention of converting it into a bed & breakfast, since the road running nearby is supposed to be expanded up to the house, which would bring many guests and tourists. However, the road hasn't been expanded yet and the Katakuris subsequently have no guests. When guests finally do begin to arrive, the Katakuris find (through no fault of their own) that their guests have an annoying habit of dying.Their first guest, a TV personality, arrives naked and subsequently commits suicide during the night. The Katakuris make the decision to save their business by burying the body and concealing the death. The second guest, a Sumo wrestler, dies of a heart attack during a tryst with his underage girlfriend, who also dies. Somehow, each of their guests ends up dead, either by suicide, accident or murder and pretty soon the bodies in the back yard begin to pile up. The Katakuris soon find themselves sucked into a nightmare of lies and fear (not helped by the arrival of the daughter's con-man boyfriend, an escaped murderer with police in hot pursuit). Just to add to their many worries, Mount Fuji has, for the first time in many years, decides to erupt. After many minutes of mania, musical numbers and claymation, Shizue meets a Richard Sagawa (Kiyoshiro Imawano), a mysterious U.S. naval officer who looks suspiciously Japanese but claims to be the nephew of Queen Elizabeth II. Thankfully, just when Richard stumbles into a clue that might lead him to uncover the string of disappearing guests, Mount Fuji begins rumbling to life with the promise of wiping their little secret away – as well as everything else. There are cultural themes that will go over the heads of a westerner like me but the puzzlement felt after this surreal ride is universal. The film itself is reminiscent of the music videos and live concert performances staged by 80s & 90's J-pop group Kome Kome Club who are widely recognized as the only Japanese pop rock musical group which achieved commercial success by blending soul and funk musical styles and the only band to have ever used the style of rakugo in their act. Miike's choice of Sawada Kenji as Katakuri Masao further accentuates this similarity, since he strongly resembles co-front man `Carl Smoky' Ishii Tatsuya. It may look like a film made up of several different films and ideas but that is Miike all over. The film maker makes several films a year and each one is as original and strange as the next. I gave up trying to understand everything that Miike does in his films, instead I just hold on tight, grab a large tub of pop-corn (and an alcoholic beverage) and enjoy the experience. It’s like Jan Švankmajer and 1980s bubble-gum pop got together to make a Monty Python style horror film and every bit as brilliant as that sounds. That said, with Takeshi Miike there is no comparison, he is a genre unto himself.

Ratcatcher

Dir: Lynne Ramsay

1999

*****

Everything that was great about Lynne Ramsay’s short films is amplified in her debut feature. I’ve seen so many short films and thought to myself “Someone give that director a heap of money” only to be disappointed when they do. By 1999 Ramsay had gained a following and a reputation, Ratcatcher was clearly produced by people who knew to let her have full control and make it without compromise. Much like her previous films, Ratcatcher is stark and disconnected. It feels almost dreamlike in its hazy realism. The film is set in Glasgow in the early 1970s. The city, despite its Victorian grandeur, has some areas with the poorest housing conditions in western Europe, such as no running hot water, no bathing facilities, and no indoor toilets. The city is midway through a major re-development program, demolishing housing schemes and re-housing the tenants in new modern estates. The problems in these schemes are somewhat compounded by the binmen going on strike, creating an additional health hazard and a breeding ground for rats. The main character, James, is a 12-year-old boy, growing up in one of these schemes, which is gradually emptying as the re-housed tenants move out. James, with the rest of his family, (two sisters, one older, one younger, his mum and heavy-drinking father), patiently wait to be re-housed. The film begins with James’s friend Ryan as he is forced to put on his wellington boots to go visit his father in prison. Ryan runs off instead while his mother isn’t looking and joins James who is playing near the canal. The friends are close and partake in some rough play that leads to Ryan falling into the canal. The tone of the film is set when Ryan, unable to climb out, drowns in the canal. James bears much of the blame for not having raised the alarm but he believes his inaction has gone unnoticed. James’s grief and guilt is the skeleton of the film, we feel his pain through his quiet internal suffering – which makes for uncomfortable viewing at times. Ryan's family is eventually re-housed and on the day of leaving, and when Ryan's mother gives James the pair of brown sandals that she'd bought for Ryan on the day of his death, it is like being punched in the heart. James' one escape comes when he takes a bus to the end of the line and ends up in the outskirts of the city, where a new housing estate is under construction. He explores the half-built houses, and wonders in awe at the view from the kitchen window: an expansive field of wheat, blowing in the wind and reaching to the horizon. In a scene central to the film, he climbs through the window and escapes into the blissful freedom of the field. His freedom is literal and symbolic, he wants to be free of his living situation as well as his mental torment. James befriends a girl, Margaret Anne, who he tries to help after her glasses are thrown into the canal by the local gang. James and Margaret Anne become close friends. She is his only other relief from his home environment. Margaret Anne has problems of her own, and one of them is allowing herself to be abused by the local gang. The duo find comfort in each other's company. In one of the films most startling scenes, one of James' friends, Kenny, receives a pet mouse as a birthday present. After the gang throw the mouse around in the air to make him "fly", Kenny ties the mouse's tail to a balloon, and in the most unexpected moments I’ve ever experienced in a film, the film shows it floating to the moon. The mouse then joins a whole colony of other mice frolicking on the moon, in a surreal dream-like fantasy that is nothing like Ramsay’s previous work, or indeed the film up to that point. It comes from nowhere and it is beautiful. Kenny later falls in the canal and is rescued by James' father, making him briefly into a local hero. Though the military eventually comes and cleans up all the garbage in the neighbourhood, James realizes that his situation will most likely never change. He plunges himself into the canal, and a brief scene is shown, in which James' family is moving into a new neighbourhood without him. It’s this stark realisation that brings the film back down to earth after the excitement of fantasy. There are moments of hope and wonder but fact remains that life is stark and brutal and James’s life is set out in front of him. William Eadie is brilliant as James Gillespie, a non-actor directed perfectly by one of the best directors working today. It’s a near perfect film all round, everything fans wanted from a feature-length Ramsay film and so much more. To balance gritty realism and almost absurdist fantasy so beautifully takes a great talent and a visionary story teller. I just wish Ramsay would direct more films that are written by her, although she continues to improve her adaptations with her own input. It’s one of the last great films of the twentieth century.

Black Swan

Dir: Darren Aronofsky

2010

*****

Darren Aronofsky’s 2010 psychological horror Black Swan is astonishing. It had been a while since a film had taken my breath away quite like it did, although I don't know why I was surprised, I've been a huge fan of Darren Aronofsky since Pi, the man is a genius. His depiction of the world of Ballet is spot on. I've actually lived with a couple of Ballerinas and their discipline, focus and obsession was quite frightening at times, indeed one of them utterly ruined herself in the process. I haven't liked Natalie Portman as much since I first saw Leon and Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey and Winona Ryder are all perfect in their supporting performances. Black Swan is a metaphor for achieving artistic perfection, with all the psychological and physical challenges one might encounter, incorporating one of the greatest ballets of all time. Aronofsky conceived the premise by connecting his viewings of a production of Swan Lake with an unrealized screenplay about understudies and the notion of being haunted by a double, Fyodor Dostoyevsky's The Double being a key inspiration. Natalie Portman plays Nina Sayers, a 28-year-old dancer in a ballet company in New York, which is preparing to open its new season with Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. With prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Winona Ryder) being forced into retirement, artistic director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) announces he is looking for a new dancer to portray the dual role of the innocent White Swan and the sensual Black Swan. Nina auditions for the role and gives a flawless performance as the White Swan, but fails to embody the Black Swan. The following day, Nina asks Thomas to reconsider choosing her to play the role. When he forcibly kisses her, she bites him before running out of his office. Later that day, Nina sees the cast list and discovers, much to her surprise and that of her overprotective mother Erica (Barbara Hershey), she will be portraying the lead. At a gala celebrating the new season, an intoxicated Beth confronts Nina, accusing her of sleeping with Thomas to get the role. The following day, Nina discovers that Beth was hit by a car while walking in the street and Thomas believes she did it on purpose. During rehearsals, Thomas tells Nina to observe new dancer Lily (Mila Kunis), whom he describes as possessing an uninhibited quality that Nina lacks. Nina also falls victim to several hallucinations of a doppelgänger following her wherever she goes and finds unexplained scratch marks on her back. This is where the obsession and the horror element of the film begins. One night, Nina accepts Lily's invitation to dinner despite Erica's objections. Over dinner, Lily offers Nina an ecstasy capsule to help her relax. Nina turns it down, but later accepts a drink laced with ecstasy powder. The two dance at a nightclub and return to Nina's apartment late. After fighting with her mother, Nina barricades herself in her room and has sex with Lily. The following morning, Nina wakes up alone and realizes she is late for the dress rehearsal. Upon arriving at Lincoln Center, she finds Lily dancing as the Black Swan and confronts her about their night together. When Lily doesn’t recall, Nina realizes that their encounter never took place. After learning that Thomas has made Lily her alternate, Nina's hallucinations grow increasingly stronger to the point where Erica tries to prevent her from performing on opening night. Nina forces her way out of the apartment and arrives at Lincoln Center only to discover that Lily is set to take over. She confronts Thomas, who becomes so impressed by her confidence that he allows her to perform. During the end of the play’s second act, Nina becomes distracted by a hallucination, causing her partner to drop her. She returns to her dressing room and finds Lily preparing to play the Black Swan. When Lily transforms into Nina's doppelgänger, the two engage in a fight that ends with Nina stabbing the doppelgänger with a shard of glass. She hides the corpse and returns to the stage, where she loses herself and gives a flawless performance as the Black Swan. Nina receives a standing ovation from the audience and, after surprising Thomas with a passionate kiss, returns to her dressing room. While changing, Nina hears a knock at the door and opens it to find Lily alive and congratulating her. Realizing the fight never occurred, and yet the mirror is still broken, and that she stabbed herself, Nina quietly continues changing. After dancing the final act, in which the White Swan commits suicide by throwing herself off a cliff, Nina falls onto a hidden mattress. As the theater erupts in thunderous applause, Thomas, Lily and the cast gather to congratulate Nina, only to discover that she is bleeding profusely. Nina loses consciousness, but not before telling Thomas that her performance was perfect. Aronofsky considered Black Swan a companion piece to his 2008 film The Wrestler, as both films involve demanding performances for different kinds of art with alter-egos of sorts. I agree, I found both films brilliant, Black Swan the visually stunning horror/thriller and The Wrestler the heartfelt drama. He knew he would make a film about both a wrestler and a ballerina at some point and in the beginning one of his early projects was about a love affair between a wrestler and a ballerina. He eventually separated the wrestling and the ballet worlds as he felt it would be "too much for one movie". He compared the two films: "Wrestling some consider the lowest art - if they would even call it art - and ballet some people consider the highest art. But what was amazing to me was how similar the performers in both of these worlds are. They both make incredible use of their bodies to express themselves.” The screenplay The Understudy was written by Andres Heinz; Aronofsky first heard about it while editing his second film Requiem for a Dream and described it as "All About Eve with a double, set in the off-Broadway world." After making The Fountain in 2006, Aronofsky and producer Mike Medavoy had screenwriter John McLaughlin rewrite The Understudy; Aronofsky said McLaughlin "took my idea of Swan Lake and the ballet and put the story into the ballet world and changed the title to Black Swan." When Aronofsky proposed a detailed outline of Black Swan to Universal Pictures, the studio decided to fast-track development of the project in January 2007. The project "sort of died, again" according to Aronofsky, until after the making of The Wrestler in 2008, when he had Mark Heyman, director of development of Aronofsky's production company Protozoa Pictures, write for Black Swan " and made it something that was workable." With Heyman’s ideas and Aronofsky's vision, Black Swan wasn’t just workable, it proved itself a masterpiece and the first great film of a decade.

Brief Encounter

Dir: David Lean

1949

*****

David Lean’s adaptation of Noel Coward’s 1936 one-act play Still Life is still to this day one of cinema’s greatest – and perhaps most tragic love story of all time. It has been adapted into a play, a radio show, an opera and there have been a couple of films but David Lean’s classic is the best remembered. Set just before the war in 1938, it tells the story of Laura Jesson (played by the spellbinding Celia Johnson), a respectable middle-class British woman who is in an affectionate but rather dull marriage. She narrates her story while sitting at home with her husband, imagining that she is confessing the affair she has been having for the past few weeks to him. Like many women of her class at the time, Laura goes to a nearby town every Thursday for shopping and to the cinema for a matinée. One afternoon while returning from one such excursion to the fictional town of Milford, while waiting in the railway station's refreshment room, she is helped by another passenger, who solicitously removes a piece of grit from her eye. The man is Alec Harvey (played by Trevor Howard), an idealistic doctor who also works one day a week as a consultant at the local hospital. Both are in and around their late thirties or early forties in age, both are married and both have children. They run into each other the following Thursday at a restaurant and share lunch together, laughing at the cellist playing in the corner. They then go on to the cinema and are tickled further when they realise that the cellist in the restaurant is now playing the organ at the matinée. Having enjoyed each other's company, the two arrange to meet again, always ending their meetings at the tea room on the train station platform. They are soon troubled to find their innocent and casual relationship quickly developing into something deeper, approaching infidelity. For a while, they meet openly, until they run into friends of Laura and the perceived need to lie arises. The second lie comes easier. They eventually go to a flat belonging to Stephen, a friend of Alec's and a fellow doctor, but are interrupted by Stephen's unexpected and judgmental return (a scene that would be the inspiration for Billy Wilder's 1960 classic The Apartment). Laura, humiliated and ashamed, runs down the back stairs and into the streets. She walks for hours, sits on a bench and smokes, and is confronted by a police officer, with the implication that she could be perceived as a streetwalker. The couple soon realise that both an affair and a future together are impossible. Not wishing to hurt their families, they agree to part. Alec had been offered a job in Johannesburg and had turned it down, so he decides it would be best if he took it after all. Their final meeting occurs in the railway station refreshment room, exactly where and when the film began. As they await a heart-rending final parting, Dolly Messiter, a talkative acquaintance of Laura, invites herself to join them and begins chattering away, oblivious to the couple's inner misery. As they realize that they have been robbed of the chance for a final goodbye, Alec's train arrives. With Dolly still chattering, Alec departs with a last look at Laura but without the passionate farewell for which they both long. After shaking Messiter's hand, he discreetly squeezes Laura on the shoulder and leaves. Laura waits for a moment, anxiously hoping that Alec will walk back into the refreshment room, but he does not. As the train is heard pulling away, Laura is galvanized by emotion and, hearing an approaching express train, suddenly dashes out to the platform. The lights of the train flash across her face as she conquers a suicidal impulse. She then returns home to her family. Laura's kind and patient husband, Fred, suddenly shows not only that he has noticed her distance in the past few weeks but that he has perhaps even guessed the reason. He thanks her for coming back to him and she cries in his embrace, as does the audience. The direction is pure Lean and the script is Coward gold. It’s unlike any other mainstream film made in the 1940s, it may have the same melodrama as its contemporaries but the subject of adultery was still highly taboo. However, it was critically acclaimed and very popular thanks to how the subject was handled and also because attitudes were changing, people had been through a lot during the war and were becoming more relaxed with their emotions. I think the turning point was the fact that the affair was clearly a loving one but was never consummated. This has been attributed to class consciousness. Basically the working classes can act in a vulgar way, and the upper class can be silly, but the middle class is, or at least once considered itself, the moral backbone of society.  It’s been said that this is a notion whose validity Coward did not really want to question or jeopardise, as the middle classes were Coward's principal audience. However, many of the scenes are made less ambiguous and more dramatic in the film. The scene in which the two lovers are about to commit adultery is toned down in the film, in the play it is left for the audience to decide whether they actually consummate their relationship but in the film it is clear that they do not. In the play the characters at Milford station’s platform tea room, Mrs. Baggot, Mr. Godby, Beryl, and Stanley are very much aware of the growing relationship between Laura and Alec and sometimes mention it in an offhand manner, whereas in the film, they barely take any notice of them or what they are doing, either showing them respect for their privacy or just being oblivious. The final scene of the film showing Laura embracing her husband after he shows that he has noticed her distance in the past few weeks and perhaps even guessed the reason is not in the original Coward play either and much of the film is led by Laura’s narration, rather than speculative ambiguity. It’s hard to imagine the story without the narration, it probably isn’t needed as much as it is used but the moments when Laura is suspicious of other train passengers and the thoughts she as about Dolly Messiter are just brilliant. Coward captured unspoken love and Lean turned it into a masterpiece of cinema. I challenge anyone not to cry now then they hear Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2. Consistently voted as one of the greatest British film ever made, I would go one further and say one of the greatest of all time ever. Magic and realism dance together in a dreamy noir with a script that is to die for.

Beau Geste

Dir: William A. Wellman

1939

*****

If you are a fan of adventure, swash and buckle, then look no further. Although made in 1939, I’ve always felt there was something remarkably timeless about William A. Wellman’s Beau Geste. Based on the 1924 novel by P.C. Wren and adapted by Robert Carson, the film follows three brothers as they join the French Foreign Legion. Indeed, the only thing that dates the film is the desire to sign up for such a thing but the idea of adventure is something that almost everyone can relate to. The performances are wonderful and the adventure is thrilling. In this respect it as good as the other great films of the era. For me though, what makes it greater is the ongoing mystery at the heart of the story and the structure of it’s time-frame. People praise Quentin Tarantino for the use of nonlinear timelines within his films but Beau Geste did it best twenty-four years before he was even born (and fifty-three years before Reservoir Dogs). The film begins as a group of French Foreign Legionnaires approach an isolated fort in the desert. The suspense is instant and intense). The French flag is flying, but a closer inspection reveals only dead men propped up behind the parapets with guns in their hands to give the illusion they’re ready in case of attack. However a single shot is fired from inside, and the bugler volunteers to scale the wall to investigate. After waiting a while, the commander then follows. He finds two bodies that are not staged like the rest and a note on one confessing to the theft of a valuable sapphire called the "Blue Water". After the officer rejoins his men outside, the fort goes up in flames and the bugler is nowhere to be found. Fifteen years earlier, Lady Brandon (Heather Thatcher), wife of absent spendthrift Sir Hector Brandon, takes care of the three adopted Geste brothers, "Beau" (Gary Cooper), Digby (Robert Preston) and John (Ray Milland); her ward Isobel Rivers (Susan Hayward); and heir Augustus Brandon. Years pass, and the children become young adults. They learn that Sir Hector intends to sell the "Blue Water", leaving nothing of value for Lady Brandon. At Beau's request, the gem is brought out for one last look when suddenly the lights go out and it is stolen. All present proclaim their innocence, but first Beau and then Digby depart without warning, each leaving a confession that he committed the robbery. John reluctantly parts from his beloved Isobel and goes after his brothers. John discovers that they have joined the French Foreign Legion, so he enlists as well. They are trained by the sadistic Sergeant Markoff (Brian Donlevy). Legionnaire Rasinoff (J. Carrol Naish) overhears joking remarks by the Geste brothers, leading him and Markoff to believe that Beau has the gem. Markoff separates the brothers. Beau and John are assigned to a detachment sent to man isolated Fort Zinderneuf. When Lieutenant Martin dies from a fever, Markoff assumes command. Fearing the sergeant's now-unchecked brutality, Schwartz (Albert Dekker) incites the other men to mutiny the next morning; only Beau, John, and Maris (Stanley Andrews) refuse to take part. However, Markoff is tipped off by Voisin (Harold Huber) and disarms the would-be mutineers while they are sleeping. The next morning, Markoff orders Beau and John to execute the ringleaders, but they refuse. Before Markoff can react, the fort is attacked by Arabs, forcing him to rearm his men. The initial assault is beaten off, but each new attack takes its toll. Markoff props up the corpses at their posts to deceive the enemy. The final assault is repulsed, but Beau is shot, leaving Markoff and John the only men left standing. Markoff sends John to get bread and wine. He then searches Beau and finds a small pouch and two letters. When John sees what Markoff has done, he draws his bayonet, giving Markoff the excuse to shoot the only witness to his theft. However, Beau is not yet dead and manages to spoil Markoff's aim, allowing John to stab him. John and Beau hear a bugle announcing the arrival of reinforcements, Digby among them. Beau dies in his brother's arms after telling him to take one of the letters to Lady Brandon and leave the other, a confession of the robbery, in Markoff's hand. John escapes unseen. Digby, the bugler seen in the opening scene, volunteers to find out why there is no response from the fort. He discovers Beau's body and, remembering his childhood wish, gives him a Viking funeral. He places Beau on a cot, with a "dog" (Markoff) at his feet, and sets fire to the barracks. Then he too deserts. He finds John outside the fort. Later, they encounter two American Legionnaire friends (Broderick Crawford and Charles Barton) and begin the long journey home. Desperate for water, they find an oasis, but it is occupied by Arabs. Digby tricks them into fleeing by sounding a bugle to signal a charge by non-existent Legionnaires, but is killed by a parting shot. John returns home. Lady Brandon reads aloud Beau's letter, which reveals that he stole the gem because he knew it was a fake. Lady Brandon had sold the real one years before, and Beau wanted to protect her. As a child, he was hiding in a suit of armor and witnessed the transaction as seen in an earlier scene. The big mystery is finally answered and John settled down with Isobel. Gary Cooper is perfect in the lead role, even though he was a little too old for his character. Robert Preston was great also as Digby Geste but I thought Ray Milland was miles ahead in his acting abilities. However, it is Brian Donlevy who steals the show as the infamous Sergeant Markoff. The scene where the few remaining solders left in the fort are forced by Markoff to laugh at their enemy has to be one of the greatest moments in cinema history. It has everything anyone could want from a movie-going experience. It doesn’t feel right watching it on a television screen, no matter how big it is. Everything about the film is epic, from the big visuals to the dramatic score. It might just be the perfect film.