Star Wars: Holiday Special
Dir: Steve Binder, David Acomba
1978
*/*****
I've been wanting to know what all the fuss was about regarding this 1978 Christmas special and finally, after spending a day at a particularly geeky Star Wars convention in 2011 where I met R2-D2 (Kenny Baker), Darth Vader (David Prowse) and Greedo (a very friendly Paul Blake who confirmed for me that Han did indeed shoot first) I found a Star Wars stall that sold bootleg copies. Finally, for only £5, I had a copy of Star Wars: The Holiday Special. I was sure I'd probably bought a dodgy copy that wouldn't work, surely this TV program is long lost and is only now folk-law? Well no, the DVD worked just fine and......it is as truly bad as everyone says it is. Like really bad. Not good bad, but bad bad, as in 'What the hell were you thinking?' bad. It supposedly takes place between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back  although it doesn't really go into much detail. Han Solo and Chewbacca are on their way back to Chewie's home planet for 'Life Day', 'Life Day' being an obvious metaphor for Christmas but seeing as this is a work of fiction and set in a Galaxy Far far away, attaching Christian festivals wouldn't really make any sense. The idea that there is a planet full of seven foot hairy creatures who watch cooking channels is far more believable and makes much more sense. Actually it does, but I digress. Han and Chewie run into some pesky Star Destroyers and have to take a detour through hyperspace to escape. Mrs Chewie, the beautiful Malla, is understandably worried and calls Luke Skywalker to see if he's seen his mates and if he knows if they're on their way. Luke hasn't, he's been fixing his leaky X-Wing with R2-D2. Suddenly word is out and everyone gets worried. What if they don't make it in time for Christmas? I mean 'Life Day'. Meanwhile, a couple of Stromtroopers turn up at Chewie's house to look for him which begs the question; why chase him if you know where he lives anyway? Malla tries to distract the Stormtroopers with Jefferson Starship's latest video but when they soon loose interest (they were never as good as when they were Jefferson Airplane to be fair) Malla and son Lumpy decide to watch a cartoon. The cartoon features Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie in a strange tale involving a planet covered in water and an ancient talisman that sends people to sleep. The cartoon features fan favorite Boba Fett in his Star Wars debut, which makes even less sense than anything else in this bizarre mess. Star Wars: Holiday Special is what happens when unimaginative executives are given a popular brand and are told to flash 'something Christmassy' out quick with only a small budget - all of which was spent on cocaine. Carrie Fisher does have a great pair of lungs on her to be fair, her heartfelt carol is as lovely as it is puzzling. There was a quote on the DVDs sleeve that said said 'If I had a hammer and the time, I'd smash every bootleg copy in existence' - George Lucas. I believe him, I'd feel the same way if it were me (and this is coming from the man who invented Jar-Jar Binks). That said, David Acomba (Lumpy) has said that Lucas was sent dailies for approval after each day of filming, even though he said he had little to do with it. You didn't need a Millennium Falcon in order to be a space cadet in the 70's. You have to see it to believe it. I have a copy if you're interested. £20?