Burlesque
Dir: Steven Antin
2010
*
Before you decide to sit down and watch Steven Antin's 2010 musical Burlesque you should ask yourself a few important questions. In your opinion; is Christina Aguilera so great that she can do no wrong? Do you like films that feel familiar? Do you think being the brother of a Pussycat Doll would automatically make you somewhat of an expert in the art of Burlesque? If the answer is yes, then by all means don't let me stop you from watching. If however, you believe that Bob Fosse was a genius and a soulless impersonation of his work is an insult to his legacy, another awful example of Hollywood plagiarism and a crime both cinematic and in law, then you'd be right to avoid. Also, this isn't Burlesque. It takes a little bit more than suspenders and the occasional wink to be considered Burlesque but then this film isn't even about that, it's about Christina Aguilera and her music career. Support comes from a whole range of cardboard cut-outs and Cher, who has had so much botox injected in her face she sounds like her mouth is full of bees. Alan Cumming and Stanley Tucci are two actors I really like but I can't help but think that both were hired because one is Gay and the other plays Gay well. Enough with the stereotypes already. Why would you hire Alan Cumming and not give him anything to do and why would Stanley Tucci play the same character (The Devil wears Prada) twice only four years apart? I hope they both got paid handsomely. The story is reminiscent of the the Muppet's go-to story of choice, 'We've got to save the theatre' which is a little tiresome when the Muppets do it but at least they're lovable, entertaining and believable as real people. The script is also truly awful. The last musical number is the only memorable one of the whole film but then that's because it is pretty much exactly the same as the final number from Chicago. It is shocking that it hasn't been sued by Fosse's estate but then it would mean having to actually watch the whole film in its entirety, so I'm really not sure it's worth the time, effort or money.