Signs of Life (Lebenszeichen)
Dir: Werner Herzog
1968
****
Herzog's first feature is only a slight example of the greatness that he was about to produce. That said, this is a beautifully paced film that does transfix even though nothing really happens. It's quite similar to a Takeshi Kitano film in a way, in that there is a lot of musing and playing of games but not a great deal happens. All shot with the famous stolen camera and with only two weeks film schooling. Brilliant.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Dir: Edgar Wright
2010
*****
Bloody hell, Ritalin anyone? Scott Pilgrim vs. the World has got to be the most original, fast-paced and successful adaptation of a comic in recent years. Wow. It was hard to keep up at times but as much as this film made me feel old, it was a real kick to the retinas - and I mean that in the best possible way. Edgar Wright very much doing what he does best, with a brilliant cast of young talent - I enjoyed it very much and is probably one of my top favourites of 2010 although I would have liked to have seen the excellent comics made into a trilogy, rather than do them all in one go.

Fido
Dir: Andrew Currie
2006
****
I can't help but think that the poster puts off people, it's a little misleading. It's been on my radar for some time now but only because I was curious to see what Billy Connolly looked like as a Zombie. Well, I was very pleasantly surprised, Fido exceeded my expectations enormously. It's originality within the genre is commendable, it's a zombie film that is nothing like a zombie film but isn't a cheap shot comedy either. It asks whimsical social questions, turns things around and looks at things from another angle. The pleasant looking but often deeply disturbing 1950's wholesome little town was a perfect setting. I don't think anyone tried too hard to make a statement here but I think there is an element of serendipity at work, at the very least they've made an uniquely funny film that deserves a little more love. Sack the Post-production team though!

The Mist
Dir: Frank Darabont
2007
****
The Mist is a refreshingly good sci-fi horror film. Stephen King films are always hit and miss but with Frank Darabont directing, I'm not sure why I even doubted it! There is good character development, realism and social commentary that are typical of King's novels but not so much in horror films. That is where the real strength of this films lies. If you'd have told me the storyline before I watched, I probably wouldn't have bothered but it actually works really well and as for that now infamous ending, it's beautifully bleak and wonderfully horrific, don't let people put you off, this how great horror films should end!

The Sea Inside
Dir: Alejandro Amenábar
2004
*****
Euthanasia is a tricky subject, not one you can go into lightly. Alejandro Amenábar was a brave man to tackle the story of Ramon Sampedro but I thought he did it respectfully and honestly. I'm yet to see a bad Javier Bardem performance either, he's rapidly becoming one of my all time favourite actors. Agree or disagree with Euthanasia, you can't deny this film raises quite a few important questions - thought provoking and beautiful, a masterful piece of cinema.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Dir: Peter Jackson
2013
***
The story continues. The sequel has a bit of a faster pace than the original, which was welcome. The original story is still stretched a little thinly though and the addition of extra characters and events is sacrilege (or so my more nerdy friends tell me). I liked the Stephen Fry and Sylvester McCoy cameos very much and I thought the Smaug special effects were rather good. I liked the film but it's beginning to get a little samey. You've either seen it in the last film or in TLOTR.  The Smaug scene at the end of the film is the big pay off and obviously what was concentrated on most because all the other action films are over the top, ridiculous, cartoon-like headaches. The barrels down the river scene made me feel a little bit sick, the effects were laughable in places and I thought the whole thing was utterly unnecessary. Seriously, compare the special effects to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the Dragon bit) and it doesn't hold up at all. All part of the filler I guess. I liked it but cut out 30 minutes or so and I would have loved it.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Dir: Peter Jackson
2012
***
Turning one book into three films, fiddling with the story and adding new characters is all part of this shameless money-making machine after the success of the original films and will no doubt please the producers of the franchise greatly. To be honest, when it is all done to this high standard, why not? You should always read the book first kids, that is if you're interested, personally I was never a Goblins and Wizards kid, I was more into Dinosaurs and Astronauts so I have never and probably will never read the book. Not because I'm sure it's not good or anything, I just have about 1000 books I want to read first. I liked the film a lot, it's nice to see some new faces along side a few favourites from the LOTR films. I found it a lot easier to watch than I found the first film although it is a bit wishy washy at times. The camera lingers...are they safe...did they make it....yes, they made it, there are 2 more films to go and a ton of money to make, get on with it. I'm not sure the hard-core fans will like it but then they seemed to like Peter Jackson's self-indulgent LOTR trilogy, so I'm going to guess yes. As a non-fan, I thought it was still pretty good. My favorite thing about it has to be Sylvestor McCoy, he was brilliant.

Herakles
Dir: Werner Herzog
1962
****
Will he clean the Augean stables? (Garbage dump)
Will he kill the Lernaean Hydra? (Endless lines of cars)
Will he tame the Mares of Diomedes? (Racing cars crashing, spectators killed)
Will he defeat the Amazons? (Women marching in uniform)
Will he conquer the giants? (City reduced to rubble)
Will he resist the Stymphalian birds? (U.S. Air Force jets dropping bombs)?

Herzog compares the challenges of Herakles in the antique period (mythological) with the challenges today (1962). Herakles is Reinhard Lichtenberg who was Mr. Germany at the time. Considering Herzog claims to have never even watched TV before making this film, it's pretty impressive.

Stunt Rock
Dir: Brian Trenchard-Smith
1980
****
The epitome of 'Cult film'. Stunt Rock is very honest in its title, it is a mixture of stunts and Rock. It's been titled as a "stuntsploitation" film but that is a genre I've never heard of and I'm a big fan of Exploitation films. It is however, one of the better Ozploitation films but then that goes almost without saying as it is written and directed by the one and only Brian Trenchard-Smith who I imagine is the first point of call for "stuntsploitation" if it does in fact exist. What can I say, it has to be seen to be believed, if you can find it, watch it. It's by no means a great film but I loved it and if you're in to that kind of thing, it is probably the ultimate stoner movie ever. Grant Page rocks!

The Moo Man
Dir: Andy Heathcote
2013
****
The Moo Man has everything you could want from a film; Comedy, Tragedy and Romance (well sort of anyway). It's also the purest form of documentry in many respects as it is never preachy, never tries to influence the viewer in any way and is what it is, a fly on the wall look at the subject. Okay, so there are a few political views along the way but hardly any considering it's about farming. The film is like a soothing back rub after a long day, watching Stephen the farmer looking after his Cows is mesmerising, relaxing and something immersing yourself in. It's something quite wonderful to behold and it feels like a privilege to be allowed in to be honest, considering how tender and personal a relationship the farmer has with his cattle. It is a treat to watch.

Hotel Transylvania
Dir: Genndy Tartakovsky
2012
***
Attention to detail is all important in animated films and the makers of Hotel Transylvania know this while many other animated films forget. The story is fun, not too preachy or cliched even when you expect it to be. It's not too schmaltzy either, another pit fall that seems rife in the world of animation. I thought the voices were good too, the cast picked for how they sound rather than who they are but with some well known names just the same. The biggest let down for me, and it is a bit of a animation cliche, is the bloody awful music. All that attention to the visual detail just to let themselves down with the sound seems like such a shame.

Croupier
Dir: Mike Hodges
1998
**
As much as I love most things 90's, Croupier seems to have dated before its time. I like the idea and I like the story, I just don't think it was directed very well. In fact I'd go as far to say it looks amateurish and a bit 'Made for TV'. Mike Hodges is a better director than this so I'm not sure went wrong. Clive Owen is okay and it was a blast from the past seeing Paul Reynolds again but the rest of the cast are pretty dire. Gina McKee was awful in fact and Kate Hardie's performance summed up how females were unfortunately portrayed in 90's dramas. Alex Kingston was okay though, annoying how I used to watch Moll Flanders again and again to see her boobs when I could have been watching this all along and seen everything. Naughty boy that I was, still, Moll Flanders was a hell of a lot better. I'm not sure I get the love this film seems to have got over the years. Nior wannabe rather than Neo-Noir would be.

Condorman
Dir: Charles Jarrott
1981
**
Not exactly the best Superhero film ever made, more Pink Panther meets Some Mothers do 'ave 'em. It actually starts off okay when the film is basically a spy spoof, it just gets stupid when 'Condorman' suddenly becomes 'our only hope' and designs his slightly cooler looking Batman/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang style mod cons (and gets them made in a day). This looks like your typical Disney 'made for TV' film that they made in the 60s and early 70s. At 1981 is was already looking a bit dated and don't get me started on Michael Crawford's accent. What was Oliver Reed thinking? Or was he drunk?

The Hunter
Dir: Daniel Nettheim
2012
****
Daniel Nettheim's The Hunter is eerie, disconnected and quite bleak at times The Hunter is also quite moving and tender. Willem Dafoe was the perfect choice of actor to play the part of the Hunter, no doubt about it. His subtleties, his rugged edge and likable manner make for quite an interesting character. The story is original and interesting, it's also very believable. The contrast between heartwarming and heartbreaking is handled very well too, the performances are strong but most importantly it looks stunning. None of the usual rubbish here!

The Baader Meinhof Complex
Dir: Uli Edel
2008
****
Uli Edel has been quite clever in the way he has structured his telling of the The Red Army Faction (RAF) story, a group that organized bombings, robberies, kidnappings and assassinations in the late 1960s and '70s. It would have been easy to start with the prison scenes and then have flashbacks of how they got there, thus leaving the action until later in the film. He doesn't do this though, the story happens as it happens, the action occurring towards the beginning of the film. This did help in explaining the reality of what happens under these circumstances and took away the 'glamour' of being a 'revolutionist', for want of a better word/s. I can see how people have lost interest due towards the end but it helps with telling the story properly and by keeping the story balanced. The film really highlights the wrongs made on both sides rather than the rights of anyone. Stylishly told with some great performances.

In the Name of the Father
Dir: Jim Sheridan
1993
*****
The collaboration between Jim Sheridan and Daniel Day-Lewis is one that was too short lived in my opinion. My Left Foot was brilliant and this is a great follow up. Although the fact that father and son did not actually share a cell, most of it is factual enough and is an important story to tell. It beggars belief but after 2 stints at jury service nothing would amaze me anymore as far as the British justice system is concerned. A powerful and well told story that needs to be seen.

Into the Abyss
Dir: Werner Herzog
2011
****
I find Herzog's typical lack of agenda to be refreshing although I think it confuses many. In Into the Abyss he explores why people kill, his only opinion voiced is that killing is wrong and the rest is as it is. It's the purest form of documentary really when you think about it, nothing is forced and no one is targeted. It is a document of people, at a time, in a place. You should always be the one who determines your own opinion, Werner simply instigates the discussion. My opinion? Don't live in Texas - if you don't get murdered you'll probably get hit by a train! In all seriousness though, this is worth watching for the honest interview with one of the fathers of the accused who is also serving time in prison. Heartbreaking stuff.

Rescue Dawn

Dir: Werner Herzog

2006

*****

In 2006, Werner Herzog kept his promise to his friend Dieter Dengler and directs a big feature length masterpiece of his story (see Herzog's 1997 documentary; Little Dieter Needs to Fly). The style of filming is typical Herzog brilliance but this is an altogether different kind of film for him, this I think was his real tribute. He is aided by a really dedicated and talented cast, Christian Bale dependable as always and ready to push himself in the role but for me it's Zahn who steals the show with a career best. This is the film Dieter Dengler wanted to see and this is the film he deserved, if only Herzog could direct every film!

Empire of the Sun
Dir: Steven Spielberg
1987
***
I admired Steven Spielberg's change in direction, albeit temporary but I don't think he quite achieved the desired finish I think the story deserved. If it weren't for the brilliant performance from the young Christian Bale this would be a long forgotten film, maybe unfairly so but I don't think being just good is good enough for such a great story. David Lean originally wanted to direct, now that I would have liked to have seen! J.G. Ballard had a cameo, so I guess he approved of the whole thing.

Grave of the Fireflies
Dir: Isao Takahata
1988
*****
Picking a favourite Studio Ghibli film is near impossible for most fans. My Neighbour Totoro, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Ponyo and Porco Rosso come very close as personal favourites for me but I think Grave of the Fireflies is undoubtedly their greatest and most powerful achievement. It's not just Ghibli's best either, it's one of the greatest animations of all time. Much like when people discuss what is the greatest graphic novel of all time, the general answer is Alan Moore's Watchmen, which it true until you read Art Spiegelamn's Maus. It's rare that any film can have such an emotional impact as Grave of the Fireflies does, whether it's real or animation but rarely does an animated film provoke such feelings. Along with Watership Down, Grave of the Fireflies really did push the boundaries when it came to the power of cartoons and showed just how important animation is in cinema. Considered an anti-war film by most, Akiyuki Nosaka, author of the short story the film is adapted from, has stated that it is actually a look at living outside of society, isolation, something suffered largely by teens and those in their early twenties, Nosaka's target audience. The main characters, brother and sister Setsuko and Seita, are victims of war and it is the suffering that war brings to normal people that makes it an anti-war film but Nosaka, an staunch anti-war supporter who has criticized Japan for its conformity on many occasions, is focusing the attention on youth and how they are forced to fall in line during times of hardship that are of no fault of theirs. It's about kids of the world who are never given the chance to make anything of themselves and how conformity often kills a child's spirit and the cycle continues when they reach adulthood and have kids of their own. It is a heartbreaking film, historically important, wonderfully executed and rightfully regarded as the masterpiece it is. Not a typical Studio Ghibli production but as brilliant as you'd expect from them.

Waltz with Bashir
Dir: Ari Folman
2008
*****
A fantastic film with amazing animation. This could have been an interesting documentary exploring the 1982 massacre of Palestinians by Israeli solders but instead, Folman had the insight and the originality to produce what is one of the truly brilliant contemporary films of the last few years. Instead of filling the gaps with reconstruction or using stock footage, Ari Folman decided to use effective animation to tell each story. He didn't stop there though, as most of the interviews were recorded audio only, he also animated the interviewees too, to great effect. This only adds to the effect of the story, instead of trivialising it like I thought it would at first. Highly recommended!

How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire
Dir: Dan Edelstyn
2012
***
For my birthday my Wife to be took me to the premier of How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire. Not only was this the grand premier, it was also a chance to meet the director Daniel Edelstyn for a Q&A session and also a chance to taste the Vodka in question. The premier was in one of London's trendiest galleries, the ICA. We were the first in and so grabbed the best seats. By the time the film started only 4 other people had entered the cinema. Firstly, I did enjoy the film but only to a point. For most of it I was desperately trying to think of pleasant, maybe witty but most importantly intelligent questions to ask the director at the end of the showing. Poor guy, only 6 people turned up to his premiere, I'll have to spare his and also my own embarrassment when it gets to the Q&A. Complete silence would be too much to bare. The film was good, a little misleading if I was going to be honest though. I really liked the dramatisations of his Grandmother (played by his wife) but I didn't really warm to them in real life. I actually found them annoying but maybe that's what made them watchable. It was a win win situation for him really, if the Vodka sells then he wins as a businessman, whether the Vodka sells or not, he's a film maker, the memory of his Grandmother - his primary mission, has been achieved. Then you look into his career as a 'Film maker' and nothing really pops up. The film does have the whiff of a clever marketing campaign about it, all the best bits are non-scripted and by the end of the film I really wanted a sip of Vodka, and I don't even like Vodka! So anyway, I had a really good idea for a question to ask, I had this long conversation I wanted to have with him about romanticism vs. realism all planned out. When the film ended, I was ready. One of the six darted out as fast as he could, damn it, he looked like a journalist and the only other person likely to ask a question, I just knew it would be up to me know. Except, and it's a big except, the bastard didn't show up. We all hung around a bit and then we all marched to the help desk only to be told he cancelled at the last minute due to unforeseen issues. Yeah, like only 6 people turned up to my film premier and I'm too embarrassed to show my face. He could have at least left some Vodka behind. It was a load of crap anyway because I saw him outside the cinema just before we went in. The spineless twerp isn't going to sell much Vodka if that is his attitude but friends, it pains me somewhat to report that the film is still worth watching but please, for me, don't buy his Vodka. I'm looking forward to his follow up film, How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire and loose everything in the process and fail miserably. Not that I'm bitter or anything, I just wanted a drink!

Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan
Dir: Kirby Dick
1997
*****
It's content is shocking but it's heart is good. Bob Flanagan's legacy is a pure one even though it wont seem so at first glance. This is an astonishing account of one man's life and his unfortunate death, or maybe one man's death and his unfortunate life as he would probably put it. I see Bob Flanagan as probably the most positive person of all time, he knew his life was going to be short and painful so he decided he'd start to try and enjoy it. People who state that the most shocking scene was the one including the nail and the penis obviously weren't concentrating properly as Bob Flanagan's death is one of the most horrific, heartbreaking, shocking but strangely reassuring and beautiful (based on his suffering) scenes ever caught on film. His poem 'Why?' is the powerful conclusion to the film that breaks the heart as well as lifts it and puts silence to anyone who thinks he was psychologically unsound or indeed sick in the head. This is a must see documentary but not for the fainthearted.

Day of the Fight
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
1951
****
Day of the Fight is a great little slice of life filmed beautifully by Stanley Kubrick. It really was like one of his early photographs come to life (if you've not seen Kubrick's photography of the 40s/50s I suggest you buy his book). The Black and White photography is brilliant with the backdrop of 1950's New York and I'm sure Martin Scorsese had this film in mind when making Raging Bull. This is Black and White documentary at it's most beautiful.

V/H/S/2
Dir: Adam Wingard, Eduardo Sánchez, Simon Barrett, Gregg Hale, Gareth Evans, Timo Tjahjanto, Jason Eisener
2013
***
Although I'm giving V/H/S/2 the same 3 out of 5 stars I gave the original, it is a big improvement on its predecessor. The film that binds the shorts (Tape 49) still isn't great but it's a tiny bit better than the original. Phase I Clinical Trial was a strange first choice film as it really felt more like filler rather than the film to get you going. It was okay, colourful and interesting but the Found Footage cliches were there from the beginning and the idea seemed to be born from the idea of the brief, rather because it was a good idea and directed with restraint rather than embracing the possibilities. A Ride in the Park was a great idea, seeing the world from a Zombie's point of view (thanks to a helmet-cam they were wearing post-Zombie) is just the sort of idea this franchise is for and where its strength lies. Safe Haven is wonderfully dark, the way it is filmed is unfortunately the worst of all the movies but the idea is truly terrifying, although the less said about the last scene the better (Bogey and budget problems?). Slumber Party Alien Abduction is a great film to end on. The idea is great and very effective. It reminded me of a Spielberg film but with balls. I think the shaky camera footage was a little too shaky in places but the speed of the action was a welcome change of pace. It's a great franchise that is full of possibilities. It's not perfect just yet but I think it could be. The new sub-genre in horror to get excited about for sure.

 

V/H/S
Dir: Ti West, Radio Silence, Joe Swanberg, David Brukner, Adam Wingard, Glenn McQuaid
2012
***
 Found Footage has been overdone a little of late, it can get a bit samey so I welcome the inventiveness that V/H/S brings. That said, V/H/S is basically 50% brilliant and 50% crap. The film that binds the shorts together (tape 56) is probably the worst part of this film as it brings nothing to the overall film and it doesn't lead into the short films particularly well and is unnecessarily nasty at the start which I'm sure must have put many people of right away. The first film, Amateur Night, is probably the best of the lot. It has real scares, is creepy throughout and reaches a brilliant conclusion. Second Honeymoon is boring in comparison, the twist ending is disappointing to say the least, not to mention far too graphic to be on the right side of acceptable. The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger was original and effective, probably the cleverest of the films but again, I think it could have been explored better and dare I say, saved for it's own feature length film. Tuesday the 17th is the token spoof film that seems totally out of place. Although, as ridiculous as the pixelated bad guy was, I quite liked him. The last film, 10/31/98 is probably the most fun of the films. The mysterious collective of directors that call themselves Radio Silence go for all out action. No need for character development, they get down to business, an idea that serves the film well. Overall, the film is definitely worth watching, along with The Cabin in the Woods (also released in 2012), this defines a genre to the point where others need to up their game (or stop). The overall aspect I most object to (apart from the fact very little of it is filmed on VHS) are the constant sexual and often sexually-violent scenes. What is it with horror films and guys with hand-held cameras? It's probably the most disturbing factor for me and it doesn't sit well, it's not nice seeing women treated like this and it's not nice seeing young men constantly portrayed as rapists. Let's see an end to it and some female horror directors would be a nice change too!

Machete
Dir: Robert Rodriguez, Ethan Maniquis
2010
***
Like many of the 70's Grindhouse/Exploitation movies, the film rarely lives up to the trailer. In that sense, the full length feature version of Machete is a fitting tribute. It's not all bad though, you can't take the film seriously when it doesn't take itself seriously - for the best part it's a fun and silly film. The only problem I had was that it seemed rushed. The intro was done in the Grindhouse fashion, grainy, scratched film, aged orange tint and bad cuts, so why this wasn't extended to the whole film is beyond me (or did Rodriguez only direct the first bit?). The cast is great and there are some excellent scenes but the classic scenes from the trailer seem to be an afterthought. Enjoyable, but it did seem like a way to make a quick buck rather than be a heartfelt desire from Rodriguez who is capable of much more. Mind you, after watching the deleted scenes on the DVD release it could have been a lot worse!

Planet Terror
Dir: Robert Rodriguez
2007
***
I think this film suffers from being separated from its intended twin (Death Proof) as part of the Grindhouse experience. Although I enjoyed Planet terror, it is no way near as good as some of the films it tries to mock/imitate/pay tribute to. Still, there are some original ideas here that I have to applaud, it is fun but it's just a shame that the years coolest poster turns out to be for the years most disappointing film! (not the worst, just the most disappointing considering the hype). Style over content unfortunately, cool but not really cool enough to warrant the cult status it seems to have reached.

Death Proof
Dir: Quentin Tarantino
2007
****
I just want to start this review by saying I sometimes really hate Tarantino. He thieves others ideas and claims them to be his own. His ego is as big as his forehead and if he went fishing he would probably cast himself. I really hate his cameos in his own films, he can't act to save his life and sometimes he can be a real Hitch cock.
I also hate the way people act in his films now. Ever since the scene in the cafe at the beginning of Reservoir Dogs, everyone in his films acts the same and they read out his scripts like he would, even though no one else sounds as desperately manic as he does.

So...I was quite surprised when I watched Death Proof and found that I loved it. It had the feeling of the 70's exploitation film about it that he sought after, as much as he annoys me, he knows his stuff and knows how to build on ideas. Death Proof turns out to be everything Jackie Brown wasn't. I liked the calm scenes in between the action, in fact, I preferred them. If the two films Vanishing point and Maniac had sex, Death proof would be their child.
I really wanted to hate this one but I have to admit, I love it!

Grindhouse
Dir: Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez
2007
****
What a great idea, make two films back to back in the old Grindhouse style complete with cheesy acting, jumpy pictures and overexposed film. It could have been awful but luckily it wasn't, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez know their films. The fake trailers, which were always part of the fun of Grindhouse pictures, were very well done although Rob Zombie's effort is a bit weak compared to the others. It's brilliant that some of the trailers have now been made in to full length features. I think Planet Terror is much better for being cut down in its original print than the extended release but I think, and it looks as if I'm the only one, that Death Proof is much better in its extended version. Still, they could have both been extras on the DVD, why the producers decided to separate these films is a mystery to me, stupid producers!

Machete - Played brilliantly by Danny Trejo and thankfully made into its own film.  

Werewolf Women of the SS - I like the overall idea but Rob Zombie is a horror fan, not a horror film maker.

 Don't - Edgar Wright hones the tone of British Hammer Horror of the 1970s to great effect

Thanksgiving - Eli Roth is a twisted genius, here is some proof.

Hobo With a Shotgun - filmmakers Jason Eisener, John Davies, and Rob Cotterill won a competition to have their short entered into the film and to great success. The full length version came out in 2011.