How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire
Dir: Dan Edelstyn
2012
***
For my birthday my Wife to be took me to the premier of How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire. Not only was this the grand premier, it was also a chance to meet the director Daniel Edelstyn for a Q&A session and also a chance to taste the Vodka in question. The premier was in one of London's trendiest galleries, the ICA. We were the first in and so grabbed the best seats. By the time the film started only 4 other people had entered the cinema. Firstly, I did enjoy the film but only to a point. For most of it I was desperately trying to think of pleasant, maybe witty but most importantly intelligent questions to ask the director at the end of the showing. Poor guy, only 6 people turned up to his premiere, I'll have to spare his and also my own embarrassment when it gets to the Q&A. Complete silence would be too much to bare. The film was good, a little misleading if I was going to be honest though. I really liked the dramatisations of his Grandmother (played by his wife) but I didn't really warm to them in real life. I actually found them annoying but maybe that's what made them watchable. It was a win win situation for him really, if the Vodka sells then he wins as a businessman, whether the Vodka sells or not, he's a film maker, the memory of his Grandmother - his primary mission, has been achieved. Then you look into his career as a 'Film maker' and nothing really pops up. The film does have the whiff of a clever marketing campaign about it, all the best bits are non-scripted and by the end of the film I really wanted a sip of Vodka, and I don't even like Vodka! So anyway, I had a really good idea for a question to ask, I had this long conversation I wanted to have with him about romanticism vs. realism all planned out. When the film ended, I was ready. One of the six darted out as fast as he could, damn it, he looked like a journalist and the only other person likely to ask a question, I just knew it would be up to me know. Except, and it's a big except, the bastard didn't show up. We all hung around a bit and then we all marched to the help desk only to be told he cancelled at the last minute due to unforeseen issues. Yeah, like only 6 people turned up to my film premier and I'm too embarrassed to show my face. He could have at least left some Vodka behind. It was a load of crap anyway because I saw him outside the cinema just before we went in. The spineless twerp isn't going to sell much Vodka if that is his attitude but friends, it pains me somewhat to report that the film is still worth watching but please, for me, don't buy his Vodka. I'm looking forward to his follow up film, How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire and loose everything in the process and fail miserably. Not that I'm bitter or anything, I just wanted a drink!