Dir: Bill Condon
2011
*
No disrespect to director Bill Condon but they really do seem to pick their directors at random in this franchise. Bill Condon's direction is faultless for what must have been a frustrating job though. Basically, buff out as much as you can of half a book that really doesn't warrant four hours of film. Make boring look good. Good stories shouldn't be rushed but my goodness, this isn't a good story. Two hours of nothing. Two very long hours. Our characters seem to have undergone some memory loss or is that the writer/film makers? The character consistency is nonexistent, it's like the last two films never happened (which I wish were true). What is really going on here though? What is the message? 100+ year old Vampire marries young 18 year old. That's a bit nasty but not illegal I suppose so onto the big question; why is a Vampire (the Anti-Christ!) so worried about sex out of marriage? Then you have the issue of abortion, being with the 'right kind' and the social repercussions of both. Is this some Christian ploy to reach out to the moody kids of middle America, you know, the strange ones that wear black t-shirts? Well, whatever it is, it's possibly the worst (and most boring) Vampire/Werewolf film ever made. It's hardly the most romantic film either. I can only hope Bella changes and kills everyone in the final film. Oh, and the less said about that CGI baby the better, what were they thinking?
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