The Polar Express
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
2004
*
The animation looks like one of those dodgy chapter breaks in old computer games and just when you think you're going to hear something important, a life lesson or some good advice, the train turns into a roller coaster. Live-action animation? Isn't that an oxymoron!? It doesn't look good either way. If all I got for Christmas was a false scenes of achievement I'd ask for my money back, I'd much rather have a new bike thanks. Ba humbug to it, especially as I suspect it was written as more of a piece of Christian propaganda, luring children into a ridiculous concept of blind faith. You don't believe in Santa? Get on the train!!! That's what the Nazis did man. Apologies, that was distasteful and unseasonable but really, I don't know who is more ridiculous, Santa or God? I wonder who would win in a fight? Anyway, am I a miserable sod? Yes, yes I am, but I bet I'm disappointed fewer times in my life than most people! Is this really the same man that brought us Back to the Future? Merry Christmas everyone!