Jurassic World
Dir: Colin Trevorrow
2015
**
Fourteen years after the last, relatively unpopular Jurassic Park III and Twenty-Two years after the original phenomenon that was 1993's Jurassic Park, comes the next chapter in the infamous Dino-franchise. The big question then, is it any good and was it worth the wait? The short answer is no, not really. Not in my opinion anyway. The original film is a favorite of mine, it's far from perfect but when my best buddy and me went to go and see it in 1993 as a couple of excitable fourteen year old boys it was an unforgettable experience. The cinema cheered and the whooped at all the exciting parts, went quiet and jumped out of their skin in unison during the scary parts and gave the film a standing ovation during the end credits. Seriously, when was the last time you were in a cinema and witnessed a standing ovation? It was certainly the first time I've ever seen it, first and indeed last so far. Fast forward Twenty-Two years and me and my best buddy find ourselves in a half empty (we were watching in 2D), cold and soulless multiplex expecting at least some of the same magic. We saw the original in one of my favorite old Cinemas, a glorious 1930's art-deco Grade II building with details based on a 17th century Spanish courtyard. The seats were made of red velvet, it was stuffy, it was hot and the atmosphere was electric. It's fair to say we were spoiled having such a beautiful cinema as our local. It doesn't matter though, our surroundings mattered not, we still had great seats, we might be a couple of Thirty-Six year old skeptics who believe enthusiasm should be used sparingly and never wasted but this is Jurassic World, we're going to get what we always wanted from the franchise, a theme park from hell whereby the attractions eat the visitors! 

At this point in my review, why not take a break and have a nice cold refreshing gulp of your favorite sugary fizzy drink?

Product placement. It serves a purpose, I understand this, films are expensive, studios need to pay the bills etc. However, when the constant advertising within a film is so blatant, it becomes a distraction. I want to get lost in the realms of fantasy, film is my escapism but every time I see a tactless advert I'm reminded that I'm watching a film, I was no longer in the theme park, I was back in the cold cinema with the sticky floor. The products advertised were a bit random too. The climax of the film that saw a big bloody battle between Dinosaurs was brought to us by a famous jewelry company. Buy the one you love a necklace they will adore because you never know when they might get eaten by a (extinct) bloodthirsty monster?
 There is a realism to this I suppose, if a theme park like this really did exist then I'm sure every big company would pay big money to set up their franchise there but it still irks me.
Jurassic World itself looked great. Amazing in fact. A huge futuristic version of the original park, with holograms, monorails and interactive experiences. The killer whale style water world area looked fantastic as did the hidden viewing areas, architectural design at its best. Bigger, faster, stronger. It's this Bigger, faster, stronger ideal that the film goes with, although it also seems to criticize the idea in the story, which is a little contradictory. There was an appearance of Mr. DNA, a statue of John Hammond in the main entrance and the famous big King Kong style doors could be seen fleetingly, all were nice nods the the original film. They could have left it there really but the nods just kept coming and as happy as I was that they reference the original, it got a little heavy handed. It wasn't just the nods though, the story is also pretty familiar. My buddy described the story as being exactly the same as the original, just mixed up in a large cocktail shaker and set down in a slightly different order and I'm inclined to agree with him. Every scene from the first film is recreated in some way in Jurassic World. Some aren't as obvious but some are almost carbon copies. The only real big difference between this and the original is that in the original I cared about the characters. There was absolutely no sense of dread, in fact, I was disappointed when some of the main characters remained uneaten by the end credits. The original film's faults were forgivable due to the huge amounts of charm it had, Jurassic World is charmless and soulless, like the multi-corporations who paid for it. Give the people what they want right? But do we really want the same film? I certainly wanted a film that ticked all the same boxes as the first did but I didn't want a remake! The only original elements of the film, the idea of controlling the dinosaurs to aid humans (in a military sense) and the creation of a new cross-breed Dinosaur may have looked good on paper but the reality is that they just don't work. The simple story is that there is an escaped mega-Dinosaur on the run, it's really a horror film but then you can't have a proper horror film that is also family friendly. They worked out how to do it in the original but they fail to do so in the third sequel. Seriously, they should have worked out what worked and what didn't by now. Bigger, faster, stronger is a recipe for success most of the time but they forget that what made Jurassic Park, Jaws, Alien and all those other similar films great, is subtlety. Jurassic World is clumsy. Clumsy in the way it tells the story, the characters are a clumsy mix of stereotypes (Bryce Dallas Howard's character being particularly offensive), the editing is some of the clumsiest I've ever seen... clumsy is the best word to describe this film. The film has gone through dozens of re-writes over the years, it amazes me that they settled on a film that is so familiar to the first. There are one or two lovely little scenes that I really liked, the effects are amazing but everything else is depressingly sub-standard. This isn't the film that I'd hoped to cherish, this cinema trip will be memorable for all the wrong reasons for me and my buddy. This is the sort of film I'll happily watch on a Sunday afternoon while ironing my shirts for the week, not one that was a cherished cinema experience. Was I expecting too much? Probably, I've put the original in a pedestal. Fourteen year olds will probably love it, it's made for them after all, I'll never get my childhood back, that's fine, all part of growing up but if you're going to go back there, do it for the original fans and give the new generation there own thing, no one likes hand me downs, do something new. There is a reason my buddy and me became skeptical and unenthusiastic, it's because we've seen it all before. I don't want to believe it but here is the harsh truth, Jurassic World is a two star film.